Expert Creative Evaluation Points The same topic of the exam is a good work class
01
Focus on empathy
Reviewer/Lee Kwang Wook
Li Guangxu is a lecturer at the School of Humanities of Wenzhou University, a doctor of literature, and a young writer. Shanghai Outstanding Reading Promoter, former lecturer of Shanghai Chinese Creative Writing Center, has published more than 40 academic reviews and literary works on various platforms, and published a collection of essays.
The original questions of the middle school entrance examination
Composition (50 points)
Please write your own topic and write an essay.
Requirements: (1) closely follow the theme, the content is specific and substantial; (2) have a sense of truth; (3) the style is not limited (except poetry and drama) ;(4) not less than 600 words; (5) please avoid the names of people, schools, and places related to you in the text.
(2020 Tianjin Secondary School Entrance Examination Essay Questions)
Showcase
Get out of the confusion
A reader
I still had two months to go, but I was deeply confused.
"Three good class collective selection, online voting, please mobilize your friends more!"
The squad leader standing on the podium gave us a serious look on his face and assigned us tasks. "As for which class to choose, I don't need to say, everyone is smart. The biggest competitor of our class this time is the seventh class, which should be highly valued! ”
At this time, the squad leader was able to get rid of the tone of the big leader. I knew that these words of his must have just come from the class teacher. Some words, the class teacher is embarrassed to say directly, so he has to find a "second passer".
I've always suspected that the guy who came up with the online vote must have been kicked in the head by a donkey. How credible is the result? I struggled with how I should vote. Speaking from the heart, I think the performance of the seventh class in all aspects is higher than our class, can I choose them? After a long hesitation, I finally chose our class and the seventh class, and after that, I never voted again, nor did I mobilize my relatives and friends to participate in the war.
The squad leader reminds everyone every day to "move their fingers", it seems that whoever does not "move their fingers" means that they do not love the class collective; whoever has few relatives and friends who initiates is passive and sluggish; whoever votes for the seventh class is a traitor and enemy of the class collective.
The seventh class is not idle. Listening to a guy in the seventh class who has a good relationship with me, their class teacher personally went out to check the situation of each classmate's vote and mobilize relatives and friends before studying every morning, and if anyone behaved poorly, the class teacher's face immediately turned cloudy, and his eyes immediately entered the fighting state from a confused state. Therefore, in order not to cause trouble for themselves, many students get up early every day and the first thing is to move their fingers, and then mobilize relatives and friends in the circle of friends, and specially indicate "only vote for No. 7".
"It's similar to a family!" One day I couldn't help it, so I whispered a word. I happened to be heard by a guy with a lot of mouth and loudly "forwarded", so the eyes of the whole class brushed together on my face. So, as a child who had told the truth, I buried my face in the pile of books in shame and did not dare to look up for ten minutes.
Am I wrong? Absolutely. But in the eyes of many students, I was very wrong.
Idle to flip through the book, the book has the following words: "A man without principles and without will is like a ship without a rudder and compass, and he will change his direction at any time as the wind changes." "My heart suddenly opened up. I will stick to my principles and let the wind and waves blow from now on, and I will not be moved.
I've been confused since.
Creative reviews
Focus on the problem, empathize with the narrative
For young writers, writing about personal experience is the easiest option to get started with. Because there is a personal life experience in it, it tends to be more vivid when writing, and it will be more appropriate in the handling of emotions and details, and it is easy to shine. So, in the face of our complicated life experiences, how to quickly select a content that fits the theme in the examination room?
From this point of view, the article is undoubtedly successful in the choice of story. The author clings to a small thing he has personally experienced – online voting. This topic is very flattering, because not only students, but also many parents and teachers have experienced it. The online voting itself is also a controversial topic, which can enable the reader to have a corresponding emotional projection in the process of reviewing. It can be said that the author is not only narrating his own experience, but also narrating an experience shared by most people, focusing on a social reality problem that can arouse the reader's empathy through words.
When a reviewer examines an essay in the middle of the review, the review time of an essay is often only a few tens of seconds. Therefore, after determining your own writing topic, you need to quickly bring the grading teacher into the situation, and the first two or three sentences are very important. In the opening chapter, "I have two months to pass the exam, but I am deeply confused", in the exam room, it is a good way to tell the reader in a one-sided way that he is "confused" (entering the subject). The second sentence shifts directly from the self-monologue to the real problem, borrowing the words of others to unveil the confused mystery (theme) for the reader. In other words, when the author writes the beginning, the idea is relatively clear, simple and clear.
In the following writing, the author narrates the process of online voting in a mocking and ironic tone. This process is not too different overall because most people have experienced it, and the key to attracting people and winning lies in the details described in the article. Good details are the highlights of an article, such as the change of the face and eyes of the class teacher, the specially noted "only vote for the number 7", etc., which add a lot to the article.
But unfortunately, this article, which has no lack of shining points, is a bit of a tiger. The title is "Out of Confusion", but throughout the book, the author focuses on "Confusion", and ignores the grasp of "Getting Out", resulting in structural imbalance and weakening the theme to some extent. The ending is only a famous quote as a beacon out of confusion, which is undoubtedly too light and thin, lacking enough inner entanglement and conflict, not convincing, and unable to produce deep empathy.