01.
In the summer of 2009, 62-year-old actress Reiko Ohara collapsed at home and died alone.
After 3 days, it was discovered by neighbors, and many people lamented that even celebrities could not escape the heartache of living alone and dying.
Reiko Ohara has been married twice, and the first marriage is conflicted because of children, and her ex-husband asks, "Do you really want children or work?" ”
She chose the latter.
The second marriage lasted 4 years, still encountering the same problem, her husband asked her to return to the family, she said the hot words: "There are 2 men in this family." ”
Because of her insistence on work, Reiko Ohara remained single until she grew old alone, and her experience also reflected a large part of the life of the elderly who lived alone.
When you are healthy, you don't feel it, but when you get sick, you feel lonely.
Such things are not unique in life.
In September 2020, a citizen of Baoshan, Shanghai, smelled a peculiar smell.
She quickly called the police, and the police came to check and found that an old man living alone upstairs had passed away, and his 2 sons were not around, and he knew nothing about the matter.
We don't know what the elderly went through before they died, but both the childless and the childless experienced the extreme of loneliness.
Remember the phrase "I died last night, and my heart stopped when I left"?
These are the words written by an 81-year-old man who, feeling unwell, wrote this last word to her children.
She thought that the next day, the Mid-Autumn Festival, the children would go home to see her, but she guessed wrong, and the children learned the news of their mother's death from the neighbors after 2 months.
Raising children and preventing the elderly is the wish of many people, but with the acceleration of the pace of work, more and more elderly people realize that the pension still depends on themselves, which has also spawned the popularity of "new pension".
02.
What is the "new pension"?
It is to break the traditional concept, no longer live with children, the elderly form a new circle of friends, and find a lifestyle that suits their pension.
The first: drive to travel, go to the far side to see.
Some time ago, Sister Su Min in Henan set off in a car.
After spending most of her life busy with her family, she wanted to live for herself once, so she paid a down payment to buy a car, brought some clothes and daily necessities, and began a life of poetry and far away.
Many people see the experience of Sister Su Min and admire her courage, she dares to break away from the original circle of life and do what she has always wanted to do in her heart.
A walk-and-go trip may seem simple, but it is difficult to do, in addition to the bondage of family, it is more of a fear of the unknown.
But some old people have found a compromise, that is, a few people charter a car, and then take a map to travel, not constrained by time and place, where to go, tired to rest for a few days, interested in going to a few more attractions.
This way of providing for the elderly is very free, but it needs to be protected by physical health.
Second, the elderly and young people are integrated into a circle to increase the vitality of life.
There is a nursing home in Hangzhou that posted a tempting offer.
For only 300 yuan per month, you can stay in a standard room like a hotel.
This rent attracts a lot of post-90s youth, you know, in the city to rent a standard room, but also more than a thousand.
But going to a nursing home is conditional, that is, you need to complete certain volunteer activities every month, such as chatting with the elderly, teaching the elderly to use smart phones, walking with the elderly, etc.
This is also the appeal of the elderly, living in a nursing home, food and clothing, but lack of vitality, they hope to have more contact with young people, in the young people, feel that they are not out of touch with society, maintain enthusiasm for life.
This way of providing for the elderly is very trendy, and it is also a good thing for young people, reducing the pressure of life, which is simply a win-win situation.
The third, the fallen leaves return to the roots, return to the pastoral life.
Uncle Liu is like this, when he was young, he entered a state-run unit, and through hard work, he owned a house in the city.
But after the child grew up and left home, Uncle Liu also became an empty nest old man, although he could go for a walk in the park every day, he always felt empty in his heart, and there was a sense of distance between him and strangers.
He chose to go back to his hometown, the old house is already very old, he spent some money to decorate it simply, started planting grass in the yard, busy every day, feeling very full.
More importantly, when he came back, his childhood playmates came to him to talk to him about his youth and the lives of his children, and he was in a very happy mood and his body was much tougher.
Such a pension is very economical, but also very pyrotechnic, change an environmental life, release the fatigue of busy most of life.
Fourth, keep working and keep yourself busy.
Aunt Zhao is one of the people I know who has a lot of energy.
Every time she saw her, her face revealed self-confidence, and her words were full of positive energy.
She was a doctor when she was young, and after retirement she returned to work through re-employment, saying that she would radiate her light and heat.
Once she slipped down the stairs, fell and fractured her left wrist.
Aunt Zhao rested at home for 4 days and then went to work again, looking at her swollen wrists, I advised her to rest well, she smiled and said: "It's okay, fortunately it's not the right hand, it doesn't affect writing, can help a few people to help a few people, right?" ”
It is this optimism that makes everyone who comes into contact with her feel energized.
This way of providing for the elderly is positive, and continues to generate value, contact with different people every day, and maintain their own vitality.
03.
A study by Yale University in the United States found that a full old age can make the elderly healthier and increase their average life expectancy by 7.5 years.
With the growth of only children, more and more elderly people inevitably have to live alone, and how to make their old age more fulfilling is a problem that everyone needs to think about.
Of course, everyone has their own preferences and habits, and the way of providing for the elderly should be determined according to their own situation.
But no matter how you choose, you must avoid living alone for a long time, because a person's loneliness will erode the heart, bite off the fun of life one by one, and make life empty.
Lin Yutang has a brilliant interpretation of "loneliness":
"When the word loneliness is taken apart, there are melons and fruits, there are puppies, there are children, there are mosquitoes and flies, enough to support the mouth of an alley in the middle of a summer evening, full of humanity, but if these bustles have nothing to do with you, it is called loneliness." 」
If you have an elderly person in your home, please go home to see more, so as to avoid the elderly being at home alone and unable to find someone who can ask for help when encountering difficulties.
Maybe you will say that the old man can call if he needs to.
But in life, many elderly people encounter difficulties and prefer to solve them by themselves, rather than make phone calls, worried about adding trouble to their children.
An old lady said very sadly: "I haven't showered for more than a month, I don't dare to wash, I'm afraid of slipping, no one at home finds out." ”
In the face of loneliness, love is even more precious.
Life comes and goes, the coming days are not long, parents support the growth space for their children, and may the old age of each parent no longer be lonely.