Throughout the feudal era, the love and marriage of the empress was often full of entanglement of interests and political considerations.
The empress was ostensibly in the same family, but in fact she was alienated from morality, and even staged a tragedy of family ethics.
However, the families formed by the Ming Emperor and Empress Ma of the Eastern Han Dynasty were an exception.
Taking a closer look at the details of the relationship between the two empresses, we were surprised to find:
Their family management is so clever that many modern families can't reach it.
At that time, the Eastern Han Empire was not long after its establishment, and both the emperors and empresses had heavy responsibilities on their shoulders, and their daily life conditions were not easy.
How did they manage a near-perfect family under the pressure of a fast-paced life, in an entangled harem?
Happy at first sight
Although Empress Ma and Emperor Hanming did not have any bizarre stories in the harem, the combination of the two was the result of conspiracy and rebellion.
Empress Ma's father was named Ma Yuan, and he was a well-known hero of battle.
In the year of Hua Jia, Ma Yuan had not yet retired, and was buried by illness on the way to the battlefield, realizing his pride in the shroud of Ma Ge.
It was just that he never expected that Liang Song, the son-in-law of the Guangwu Emperor, had framed him for a bunch of crimes because he had a personal vendetta against him.
The dead naturally could not defend themselves, so emperor Guangwu brazenly withdrew Ma Yuan's title, and the Ma family's power declined rapidly.
The Ma family and the famous Dou family originally had a marriage contract, but the Dou family also participated in the framing and had the intention of breaking the contract, so the Ma family and the Dou family dissolved the marriage contract.
At that time, the Ma family's mother could not be governed due to excessive grief.
The teenage Ma Shi stepped forward to preside over the family affairs, and the Ma family stopped inside and outside.
Three years later, in order to revive the Ma family, Ma Yuan's nephew wrote to ask the Ma sisters to enter the court as palace women.
Emperor Guangwu agreed, and Ma shi was elected to the palace of the HanMing Emperor, who was still the crown prince at the time.
In the womb, Ma Shi did not give us a "Record of the Promotion of the Crown Princess", but got along with others in a calm and harmonious manner.
For the crown prince's mother, Empress Yin Lihua, Ma Shi served quite thoughtfully.
In the family of the Tai Womb, there are very few historical materials about the Han Ming Emperor, and we only know that he still likes Ma Shi.
However, after he ascended the throne, the wisdom of his and Empress Ma's joint management of the family was recorded extensively.
In-depth communication
After Emperor Hanming ascended the throne, because the Eastern Han Dynasty was only the second generation by his time, and the founding of the country was less than 40 years old, his burden was very heavy, and one of the tricky things was to control the covetousness of the clan members for the throne.
Emperor Han Ming was extremely sensitive to the matter of rebellion, preferring to kill in vain rather than miss it.
His brother Liu Ying was accused of rebellion, and Liu Ying committed suicide, but Emperor Hanming refused to let it go and wantonly went on a rampage.
Case after batch, can not be completed for several years;
From the capital to the prefectures and counties, from relatives to servants, thousands of people were sentenced to death and exiled, and thousands more were imprisoned.
Liu Ying once copied a record of the famous men of the world, and Emperor Ming of Han found that it contained the name of Yin Xing, the Taishou of Wu County, so he ordered the arrest of more than 500 large and small officials under Yin Xing.
It seems that Emperor Hamming is making a profit, but in fact he is under a lot of pressure, because things seem to be moving towards an uncontrollable situation.
When Empress Ma was a teenager, she was familiar with Confucian classics and history books, knew that this matter was not trivial, and also understood the excessively harsh character of Emperor Hanming, so she had an in-depth chat with Emperor Hanming.
Empress Ma felt that those innocently implicated were very pitiful, and she shed tears as she spoke.
Emperor Han Ming listened, pondered for a long time, got up in his clothes, and walked around the palace again and again.
After much deliberation, he thought empress Ma was right, and soon went to Luoyang Prison for interrogation, and immediately released more than 1,000 people.
Both empresses advocated Confucianism, both had feelings of family and country, and there were many couples like the above.
For them, state affairs are also family affairs.
Although there have been regulations since ancient times that the harem does not interfere in politics, Emperor HanMing will take the initiative to exchange views with Empress Ma when he hesitates.
Empress Ma can basically analyze it every time, and it is extremely pertinent.
Moreover, when Empress Ma served the Han Ming Emperor, she would often talk to him about political affairs.
It has been said that a serious but widely overlooked problem in marriage is that "communication is too shallow", and a lot of conversation only revolves around family chores such as "what to eat".
Although it is very pyrotechnic, if this is the case every day, there is little spiritual and spiritual communication, and the sense of alienation between husband and wife may occur.
As for the lack of deep communication, many people will boil it down to being busy.
And Emperor Hanming and Empress Ma, one as the highest executive officer of the state, the other as the head of the harem, can not be regarded as idle.
Under such circumstances, the two can also take time to communicate in depth, and it is no wonder that the feelings have been very harmonious.
In love and marriage, the satisfaction of spiritual needs is far more important than material abundance.
The so-called marriage is not only a partnership to live a life, but more importantly, the harmony of the heart and the integration of values.
Of course, the relationship between the two empresses and the beauty also has times when they are tested.
Re-nurtured, not reborn
Empress Ma has never had children, not to mention that in the royal family that has the succession to the throne, it is an ordinary family, and I am afraid that I will have to worry about it.
However, Emperor Ming of Han did not snub Empress Ma because of this, but let her adopt a crown prince Liu Zhao (Note: Liu Zhao later ascended the throne and became Emperor Zhang of Han).
In this regard, Emperor Hanming said:
"Man, you don't have to have children. Don't worry too much about not having children, what you need to worry about is that you don't love enough after giving birth, and you don't raise well. ”
It is conceivable that this practice and words of Emperor Hanming were a rare spiritual comfort for Empress Ma, which was simply a bath of love and the irrigation of love.
Under the concept of "re-raising and not rebirth", Empress Ma treated her adopted son "wholeheartedly and nurtured, and labored too much to be born".
In other words, it is more attentive than the average parent raising their own child.
Although there are not many details of parenting in the historical data, from the later empress Ma and Emperor Zhangdi of Han "mother and child love, always between no fiber", Empress Ma's efforts should only be a lot more.
Of course, Emperor Ming of Han often personally taught Liu Qi.
Emperor Ming of Han liked Confucianism, requiring Liu Ju to be familiar with Confucian classics and sometimes lecturing to Liu Ju.
The joint efforts of the two empresses, coupled with Liu Ju's wide nature, finally cultivated Liu Zhao's later renhe administrative style, which largely illuminated the shadow of the administrative style of Emperor Hanming.
As we said earlier, Emperor Hanming was too strict, and many things can explain this except when controlling the clan.
Once, when Lang Guan Yaosong's mistake was discovered by him, he picked up a stick and beat him.
Yao Song was so frightened that he went under the bed, and Emperor Hanming shouted angrily, "You get me out!" ”
Yao Song said under the bed:
"The Son of Heaven is mighty but not angry, the princes are solemn and elegant, and I have not heard of any emperor beating people."
Emperor Hanming was relieved and pardoned him.
While studying the Confucianism advocated by his father, Liu Qi eliminated his father's harshness and became a benevolent monarch.
Emperor Ming of Han and Liu Zhao, who became Emperor Zhang of Han, jointly created a prosperous period - "the rule of Ming Zhang".
Of course, Empress Ma also contributed to the rule of Ming Zhang.
During the reign of Emperor Ming of Han, Empress Ma "often talked about political affairs with Emperor Danxi".
After Emperor Zhang of Han ascended the throne, he also often asked Empress Ma for advice.
This family has never been entangled in "childless" or "biological", but has focused on the growth of children, and the final result is surprisingly good.
The Ming Dynasty, like other dynasties, certainly attached great importance to heirs, but Empress Ma's lack of children did not become an obstacle to the feelings of the empress.
Some people say that marriage is not the graveyard of love, but children.
But the couple of Emperor Hanming and Empress Ma told us:
As long as both husband and wife can "be re-raised and not reborn", children are gifts.
Although the problem of parenting is a major problem for the family, there is also a point that makes people who enter marriage feel quite difficult, that is, the original family or even the tearing of the family.
Husband and wife are in the same heart
We can understand Emperor Hanming's blow to the clan, after all, if we do not cut off the hand of the clan that extends to the imperial power, for the imperial family of Emperor Hanming, it will face a disaster.
However, Empress Ma's suppression of the Ma clan has made many people unable to understand.
The so-called one person who has ascended to heaven, Empress Ma's family, especially Empress Ma's three brothers, is eager to rely on Empress Ma to become a knight, a knight, and a prosperous and noble family.
However, although Empress Ma often exchanged family affairs and state affairs with Emperor Ming of Han, she never mentioned the private affairs of her mother's family.
This made Emperor Han Ming admire her very much, in fact, this was also a very important reason why Emperor Han Ming approved and made her a queen.
Although the empress dowager had a good relationship, even if the Hanming Emperor was considering his heirs, there would not be only Empress Ma in the harem.
Emperor Hanming's favorite concubine was Yin Guiren, the niece of Empress Yin, Emperor Hanming's mother.
However, when Emperor Hanming was faced with the candidate for the posthumous, he did not speak for the Yin nobles, but handed the matter over to Empress Yin.
We know that when Empress Yin was still empress, the Ma clan at that time was deeply loved by her, so Empress Yin made a decision at that time:
"Ma Guiren Deguan harem, that's her."
Why didn't Emperor Han Ming speak for the Yin nobles? It is because the Yin family is a relative of Empress Yin and Yin Guiren, and it acts badly.
Historical records do not record that the Yin nobles fought for power for their families, but they recorded a large number of cases where Empress Ma tried to suppress the expansion of the Ma family's desires.
It is not difficult to guess that the Yin nobles should be far worse than the Ma Gui people at that time in terms of excluding foreign relatives.
Suppressing the clan and rejecting foreign relatives is essentially defending the royal family.
The more Empress Ma tried to contain the family's power, the more she reassured Emperor Hanming.
After all, the usurpation of power by his foreign relative Wang Mang led to the demise of the Western Han Dynasty, but it was a catastrophe that had just occurred.
At this point, Empress Ma and Emperor Hanming were of the same heart and mind, in unison.
If both the empress dowager had a heart and blindly supported her own family, it is conceivable that the government would face what kind of bloody storms and storms the government would face.
Even after the death of Emperor Hanming, Empress Ma was still suppressing the Ma family's inflated desires.
To some extent, it is considered to inherit the legacy of the Han Ming Emperor.
If the Han Ming Emperor knew about it, he was quite pleased.
Nowadays, the family is certainly not as involved in the world as the royal family, but everyone in a small family should focus on inward development.
If the outward force tears too strong, the small family will inevitably have the worry of falling apart.
Only by uniting inward and sharing weal and woe can we let the family ship ride the wind and waves and move forward all the way.
What is family
To say that Emperor Ming of Han and Empress Ma not only have a huge difference in personality and family lineage, but also have different interests and hobbies.
Emperor Hanming liked to play and liked to sing and dance, but Empress Ma liked to do needlework, read books, and had no interest in music at all.
Once, Emperor Ming of Han led a group of palace people and officials to visit the garden, and everyone said that they should invite the empress.
Emperor Hanming smiled and said, "The one in my family is not easy to play, but he is not happy when he comes." ”
This sentence is a confidant for The Horse Queen.
Harmony and difference, Emperor Hanming and Empress Ma are such a pair of confidants.
In the midst of a busy schedule, take time to communicate with each other in depth, raise children together, fight against the tears of the big family together, and create a rare affection for the empress together.
When the history books evaluated Emperor Mingdi's attitude toward Empress Ma, they used the word "pet respect".
These two words are intriguing, this is a combination of love and respect, which is extremely rare under the feudal imperial power, which is precisely the attitude of Empress Ma to Emperor Hanming.
This is clearly not material reciprocity, but spiritual balance.
The old saying goes: home and everything.
"Harmony" is not a superficial harmony, not a deliberately maintained model scene, but a tacit understanding of the soul and neatness of action between family members.
With one heart, one with one strength; set sail, in the same boat.
This, perhaps, is the true meaning of marriage.
Author | Yan wears Yang, loves the flower market and the vegetable market, and only likes to read and write.
Image | Stills from Secrets of the Three Kingdoms