"Can you talk?"
I'm sure almost 100% of people will answer: Yes
Did what we said hurt people?
I think most of us will feel that "for the sake of ta, I have to say"
People who can talk can speak to the bottom of other people's hearts and make people warm; like luminous bodies, people who can't speak, the words spoken are like a knife, hurting people without blood, like a black hole.
Many times, under the banner of "being good for others", the damage caused is often unimaginable.
In fact, we can recall the scenes of the past
1. How does it feel when you argue with a friend about right or wrong and you win?
2. How do you feel when you accuse your other half of being unmotivated and they can't say anything?
3. How do you feel when you accuse your child of poor grades, playing games, preaching all kinds?
…………
All the results must be — unhappiness
We all begin to preach in the name of "for your own good."
It can be written in Difficult Conversations:
Everyone wants to prove themselves right, and only in the right direction is one person willing to get better.
The same thing if what you say is always "How do you do this..." "What should you do?" "You can't..." Then you want a good result for minimal.
Because it's really painful to change yourself, it's even harder to admit your mistakes and correct them.
Especially in small things, we all come up with excuses to prove ourselves right.
In the book "Life-Changing Conversation", we see two real examples of the same face of children playing games, but the way the father deals with it, the result is turned upside down.
<h1 class="pgc-h-decimal" data-index="01" > a sentence, a cost of life</h1>
See such a video on the Internet, in a thai supermarket, the father looked at the son who played the game, angry, put the well-loaded gun on the counter, said "there is a kind of you die", when the father turned, the son took the gun to his head, pulled the trigger, the father heard the gunshot, looked back to see the son with blurred blood and flesh, the eyes full of disbelief, panic, regret, sadness, the father who cried like a child, how did not expect to say a word of anger, how to pay such a big price.
<h1 class="pgc-h-decimal" data-index="02" > a sentence to achieve a lifetime's work</h1>
When Dr. Zhang Guowei saw his son who played the game, he did not criticize, but played with his son, and then lost to his son, saying a sentence "Although you won me, but you can never win the person who designed the game, if you can design a game is not more fun", and his son also became a computer doctor because of this sentence.
The same thing happens all the time, all without the word "talking"
Below is a picture of the comments seen when looking up the story of the son playing the game in Thailand:
From the network
In the reply to the nickname-Passion One Word 1711, I see this sentence:
It is enough to destroy a person with one sentence.
It may not be so big a lot of times, but some of the hurt of language cannot be erased from the heart.
Talk about such a sentence in "Life-Changing Conversations"
If you want to change a person, first find out what he deserves affirmations, put him in the right position, and then tell him that he can be better.
So straight, don't mind saying things is actually telling others "I hurt you, you don't get angry with me"
In fact, it is better to admit that you can't speak than to say that you are "straight".
In the world, the first person who can change is often himself.