Chai Jing: The old man has nothing to rely on

"If I had gone to college at that time, had a unit, had a room, and now that you're done, you still don't have anything, this is a social change." But it doesn't matter, no matter what you do, you fail, and it's not wrong. In this life, you don't think that any step is wrong later, there is no mistake in one step. You are as sad and bitter as I have been in this life, and I still feel that I can live, at least myself, according to my own path, without chaos. ”

Chai Jing: The old man has nothing to rely on

Wen/Chai Jing (born in 1976 in Xiangfen County, Linfen City, Shanxi Province, graduated from Changsha Railway College, reporter, host) Source/Network

01 "Where did you go?" As soon as the door opened, Lao Wang split his head with anger. The son in the jacket put the security door around and clicked. Walking in with no expression on his face. "You're definitely surfing the Internet!" Lao Wang's leg was injured, and he struggled to circle around his son, who did not answer, turned the key in his hand, and made a noise. Lao Wang continued, and his son suddenly shouted, "Where am I going?" Where are you going to tell me I don't have it? The logic of this little child's mouth made Lao Wang a little confused, he scratched his head, vaguely, and took out his father's saw-like tone: "Did you go to the Internet?" The money is gone! No work was done! Lao Wang was 62 years old, limping for a few days to find a job, no foreman to work for him again, anger behind the anxiety. Six or seven people shared two rooms and a living room, and some neighbors secretly opened the door a little apart and looked at it in pajama pants. The son sat on the bed, stretching his cheeks and suppressing the anger: "I don't want to quarrel." "You don't want to argue?" My father had just been in a car accident, hadn't been to the hospital, and had no insurance. After stealing a little money, only relying on bruises and cheap high wine, the wounds were suppurative, the rotation was not working, and he struggled against the bed, turned his head to him, and shouted out the words that had been held for a day: "You want this, you are worse than me, you see, you can't drink the northwest wind when the time comes." The son pressed the phone annoyingly, not looking at him or talking. His voice intensified, and he said fiercely, "Look! The son took a breath, raised his eyes and shot back: "So I don't want to come (you here)", and pressed the phone again. After his parents divorced, he never came to Lao Wang. Lao Wang came out to work, and every time he saved enough a thousand yuan, he sent it back to build a house, and the Spring Festival ticket was difficult to buy, and he did not go back. When his daughter and son grew up, he was not around. A few years ago, the brick house was built, the feelings were gone, and 20 years later, the woman had someone else. These words stabbed Lao Wang's heart: "Well, you go out!" The son stared at the door, pressed Erlang's leg, and pressed his head down to press the mobile phone. After a while, he went to the kitchen and laid a bowl of noodles for his dad and put it in front of the bed. Lao Wang lay down, constantly pressing his mobile phone, not looking or eating. The son left, and Lao Wang was still flipping through his address book on his cottage mobile phone, turning it over and over again, unable to find a person who spoke. 02 A back and forth, a brick a piece of eight, four bricks, one hundred and twenty pounds, two floors, more than forty times a day, this is the best job of the year, can only do seven days. Old Tan's hair was gray, but his arm strength was still there, and when he was on his shoulder, his back was shaking a few times, but he had to snort when he got up. They built a sea-view house, 50,000 blocks a square meter. When he took a breath and smoked, the co-worker laughed: "Busy for a year, I can't buy a square." Old Tan rubbed a handful of sand and gravel in his hand, and without hesitation, the stone grinded the stone and creaked. The son did not come to see Lao Tan, and Lao Tan explained to someone: "This resolutely cannot let him see, he will be sad." They rarely see each other in their lives, their son has just gotten married, and the house he rents is far away from him, saying: "I don't know if I'm hiding from my father." "It doesn't say he's hiding anything. Old Tan repeatedly had a dream in his life, dreaming of receiving a university notice, but as soon as he arrived at the university gate, the dream stopped. Because in real life, he had never been to school, and he didn't know what it was like. He was fourteen points behind in the college entrance examination that year. "Take chemistry, a big question, oxygen atom, negative divalence, there is a 2 is not multiplied," he shook his head, the face under the street lamp is the shadow of the tree, "wrong is the end, if I do that problem well, it is a college student, not done well." So I desperately wanted to send my son to college, but he didn't have much use for him now. He smiled, and people laughed only when they faced the absurd. Xiao Tan was the only one in the village to go to college, took the exam for three years, wanted to go to college, his father would not let him, must go to a university. Later, he studied electronics at Northwest University, and after graduation, he found a job in a computer hypermarket in Shenzhen, which was not as much as the people who came out of middle school to work. The new room I rented had only one bed and one water dispenser. The old Tan couple came to see the new person, the daughter-in-law was pregnant, twisted the red pillowcase sewn by the mother-in-law with her hand, bowed her head and said: "I have been thinking in my heart, I hope he will change jobs, because after all, it is indeed just a small clerk, the salary I also ..." She did not say it, no one answered, Old Tan had sold out everything worth a little money in the family when his son was admitted to college. The room was silent, the sound of fingernails scratching on the silk pillowcase. The four of them had a formal meal for the first time, and Xiao Tan raised his glass: "Let's raise a glass for the whole family, son..." After a pause, he did not say it, and his face was ashamed: "... You're tired too. Old Tan interrupted, and his words seemed to have been prepared for this occasion for a long time: "If I had gone to college at that time, there was a unit, there was a room, and now that you have finished reading, there is nothing, this is a social change." But it doesn't matter, no matter what you do, you fail, and it's not wrong. In this life, you don't think that any step is wrong later, there is no mistake in one step. You are as sad and bitter as I have been in this life, and I still feel that I can live, at least myself, according to my own path, without chaos. After eating, the son and daughter-in-law took them to the station, said, "Gone, when it came to the phone, turned around." After walking under the street lamp, the son grabbed his daughter-in-law, and she leaned on his shoulder and walked a long way without looking back. Old Tan and his wife were still standing in the night wind one after the other, looking obliquely, looking for a long time, a little frightened, not blinking. Old Tan's mother is almost 80 years old, her children are working in Shenzhen, and after the death of her husband, she was also taken over. Plus the cleaner's daughter-in-law, brother, brother-in-law, five people rent a 10 square meter house. The old home is in the mountainous area of Kaixian County, the house is facing a bend of green mountains, the clouds are heavy and foggy, everything is stained with water vapor, the pumpkin flowers are growing strong and tender, the yellow kudzu tree at the door is old and long, and there is a small cement flat underneath, basking in red peppers, and the dogs lie down to watch the rooster fight. She wanted to go back, but never said. Not long ago, she went downstairs for a walk, broke her leg, never went out the door again, and sat on the bed day and night, with her head on her back, her empty mouth swallowing saliva with difficulty, watching a small TV hanging in the air. On the TV, the little man and the little girl hosted the variety show, and the female host wore a short white gauze dress and said: "Which singer do you support, call our hotline..." She couldn't see clearly, and her ears were back, just for a movement. At noon, when there was no one in the house, she slowly moved to the small balcony full of clothes and dried turnips, with her clothes on her head, looking down from the window blocked by the barbed wire. At the bottom is a small garden in the next neighborhood, where local elderly people play with their children and bask in the sun. 03 This place is called Chiwei Village, less than a kilometer away from Huaqiang North, the most prosperous place in Shenzhen, and is inhabited by 1,300 migrant workers over the age of 50. At the bottom of the arcade, there was a rotten sofa that no one wanted, purple. Two old men dressed in blue cloth were curled up on top of them smoking cigarettes, leaning on the armrest of the bored, using cigarette butts to quietly burn the other's ear, the other was frightened, waving a gesture to beat him: "Don't burn my clothes." The hot old man giggled for a moment and said in a Chongqing accent: "Wang Shanyun, you still don't go back?" Lao Wang lazily put his arm on his leg: "Doesn't everyone have to die?" The old man behind him shrugged and pushed him: "Go back, go back to your hometown, not in Shenzhen." Lao Wang stopped answering and turned his face to look at the other side of the street. At the intersection of the street stood a small boy, standing on a cement platform, shy with a small belly, singing with a Cantonese accent: "The sky is clear, and the flowers are blooming." Smelling the flowers, I think of my youth. My home, that sweetness is like maple candy happiness, the little sister sings together..." Someone on the side used a hammer to unload the shell of the old washing machine, and the beating sound became heavier and heavier, and gradually it was not clear.