A Tigger
This article declares: This article is a short story, the content is pure fiction, please watch it rationally
preface
I just turned 60 this year. In the past, I had never seriously thought about the pension of my wife and me, I thought that my daughter was working in other places and had her own family, and we were very content to think of us from time to time.
But after that dinner, I suddenly understood: families without sons will really face problems in providing for the elderly.
01
I just turned 60 this year, retired at home, and my life is relatively peaceful. My daughter, Linlin, works far away in the south and has been married for a few years, and occasionally calls back to greet me and her mother. Although our old couple is a little empty in our hearts, we don't complain much, after all, the child has her own life, and if she lives well, we will be content.
Since I retired, I have gradually learned to relax - drinking tea, reading books, playing chess and chatting with my old neighbors in the community, and living a comfortable life.
Until that day, an ordinary dinner party completely changed my view of the future of retirement.
02
The dinner was attended by Lao Zhang's family, who was about the same age as me and had just retired. We old guys often get together, sometimes for tea, sometimes for a meal. The old Zhang family took advantage of the dinner specially organized by his son Zhang Qiang this time, and wanted to take the opportunity to gather for everyone.
Zhang Qiang works in the provincial capital, his career is quite successful, and he heard that he has opened a company at a young age. Lao Zhang often said that his greatest achievement in his later years was to train his son so well, and he didn't have to worry about providing for the elderly in the future.
The dinner that day was very lively, Zhang Qiang was busy and helped his parents entertain us "old naughty boys", pouring tea and adding rice, without the slightest boss shelf. Lao Zhang's face was full of proud smiles, and his words were full of pride in his son.
During the banquet, he raised his wine glass and said to everyone: "Look at it, my son is different, and when he comes back, he thinks of everything for us!" In the future, my wife and I will be old, and we will not be afraid that no one will take care of us. ”
Hearing this, a few old neighbors at the banquet echoed him, praising Lao Zhang's family education and his son's promising. Everyone talked lively, but I was inexplicably unhappy. Lao Zhang's words seem to remind me intentionally or unintentionally - look, people have sons, and someone will worry about the pension in the future, what about you? My daughter is far away in the south, can I count on it?
These words poked me somewhere in my heart. Linlin has been well-behaved and sensible since she was a child, and she is good at studying, and she has been going all the way smoothly since she was admitted to university, and she found a good job in the south after graduation. We have never felt that there is a difference between a son and a daughter, as long as the child lives a good life, does it matter if she is a son or a daughter? But right now, Lao Zhang's theory of "sons can support the elderly" made me start to think.
Indeed, Linlin is thousands of kilometers away from us, and she is usually very busy with work, and it is rare to be able to come back a few times a year. In the future, when we are old and useless, will she be able to come back to take care of us often?
My thoughts were drifting, and Lao Zhang suddenly turned to me and said, "Brother, your Linlin's work is very good, right?" But after all, the daughter is married, and the son still has to be reliable for the elderly. ”
I was a little embarrassed to say this, so I could only smile and nod: "Linlin is busy with work, and we don't expect her to come back often, anyway, the child is doing well, and we can rest assured." ”
But having said that, the uneasiness in my heart was like a wound that had been opened, and it hurt all at once. No matter how filial her daughter is, her heart is still on us, but after she gets married, she has to take care of her own small family, and she has her own responsibilities and life.
What about the two of us old? If she is really sick in the future, can you expect her to be able to run around and run before and after? This meal made my heart clogged, and Lao Zhang's seemingly casual words made me a little more worried about the future.
03
When I got home, I sat on the couch in a daze, thinking about the dinner party over and over again. Seeing that I didn't speak, my wife asked softly, "What's wrong with you?" I saw that you were worried when you were eating just now, did Lao Zhang say something that made you uncomfortable? ”
I frowned and sighed: "Yes, Lao Zhang said that they don't have to worry about having a son to support the elderly, but outside of the words, it seems that they will be in trouble without a son." I thought that Linlin was far away in the south, what if we had three long and two short in the future? ”
My wife listened and was silent for a while. She has always been more open than I thought, but this time she was not so relaxed: "Old man, you are thinking too much today. Don't we keep saying that children should be filial? It doesn't matter if it's a son or a daughter, it's the same. ”
"However, we can take care of ourselves now, but what about the future? In case her health is not good, Linlin is so far back and forth, and she is busy with work, can she be on call? How can we make her always drop her life and run back to take care of us? "The more I spoke, the more I felt bottomless, as if an invisible pressure was pressing on my chest, and I couldn't breathe.
My wife sighed and said in a low voice, "Didn't we also think about hiring a nurse, or finding a nursing home in the future?" It can't all depend on Linlin. ”
Rest home. These two words have been hovering in my mind, but I have a strong sense of resistance in my heart. Living with a group of strange elderly people, relying on caregivers to take care of me every day, away from the warmth of family, I am not willing to accept such a life in old age. I know, so does my wife.
But what can you do if you don't live in a nursing home? The scene of Lao Zhang and his son at the dinner party pierced my heart like a thorn. After watching Zhang Qiang busy, I suddenly realized that having my son by my side can indeed be more convenient in many practical issues, especially at the critical moment of pension and send-off. It's not something I could understand before.
In my generation, we always think that men and women are equal and that children can provide for the elderly, but when we really face the reality, we find that there are indeed differences between boys and girls when taking care of the elderly.
A few days later, my wife and I went to the community hospital to have a physical check-up and ask about home care services. The doctor explained to us many options, such as hiring a nurse, a nursing home, and some government benefits for the elderly. We listened with some distraction. These choices seem to make sense, but when you think about it, none of them is perfect.
On the way home, my wife suddenly asked me, "Why don't we talk to Linlin?" See what she thinks. ”
"What to talk about? Let her leave her work and come back to take care of us? Will she be able to say yes? Besides, Linlin has her own home, and her husband and children are counting on her, so we can't dump all the burden on her. I shook my head, my heart even heavier.
After Linlin got married, we were always afraid of causing her trouble, so we didn't tell her a lot of things. But now facing the practical problem of pension, I suddenly feel that this sense of distance seems to be deeper.
A few days later, I finally called Linlin to hear what she thought. On the other end of the phone, Linlin's voice was still gentle: "Dad, how are you and Mom doing?" I'm busy, I'll come back to see you in two weeks' time. ”
Listening to her busy voice, I had mixed feelings in my heart. My daughter is indeed filial, but I know that her life is getting farther and farther away from us. In the future, can you really expect her to be by your side all the time?
"It's okay, work matters, just come back when you're free." I reluctantly smiled and hung up.
After hanging up, I sat down in my chair and suddenly realized that this might be the reality we were going to face in the future. For families without sons, the issue of providing for the elderly will be much more complicated. No matter how filial Linlin is, distance and reality are in front of her. We have to learn to accept this fact and plan for ourselves.
Since then, my wife and I have started to seriously consider the issue of retirement in the future. Instead of fantasizing that Linlin would be there for us at all times, we set out to find some in-home care services and even started to learn about several nursing homes nearby. Although there is still some reluctance in our hearts, we know that one day, reality will force us to face all this.
The days after that dinner party made me see clearly the issues I had been avoiding. In a family without a son, providing for the elderly is indeed much more complicated than I imagined. No matter how filial a child is, it may not be able to make up for all kinds of problems in reality. It is important that we learn to plan for ourselves and our families, and deal with them in advance, so that we can live more steadily in the future.
This article declares: This article is a short story, the content is pure fiction, please watch it rationally