Many people don't know what the previous sentence of "home and everything is prosperous" is.
The whole sentence is, the father's love is the mother's quiet, the mother's quiet is the son's peace, the son's peace is the family's peace, and the family and everything is prosperous.
Therefore, a harmonious and prosperous family is inseparable from the joint efforts of family members.
This is also why, after many people get married and have babies, they like to call their husbands and wives: "teammates." ”
Fish fly to the shallow bottom, birds are tired of returning to the forest, and leaves fall back to the roots, these are people's simplest desire for family, and they are also a kind of destination that life is pursuing.
Any happy family of origin or a new family is the practice of long-term fellow travelers.
Family management is a long road to fight monsters and upgrade.
If these 3 auspicious signs are appearing in your family, it means that God is blessing you, please cherish them.
The family works together
A beautiful family is created by teammates
The book "Family of Origin" says: "A family is a group of imperfect people who work together to create a perfect relationship. ”
Therefore, the co-construction of the family requires the cooperation and co-creation of family members and teammates.
Friend Xiaomin's mother, a typical sacrificial parent.
After becoming a mother, she forced herself to follow the dedication of her parents, which often made her unhappy.
Every year during the Chinese New Year, he was busy until twenty-eight or nineteen, and began to quarrel and fight with his father. , smashed the pot and smashed the bowl, crying and shouting how hard he was: the husband does not share the housework, and the children also follow suit.
Even suicide has been made several times.
Xiaomin grew up in such a native family and has been in a state of hysteria for a long time.
There is basically no division of labor in the affairs inside and outside the family. As a family, you live yours, and I live mine.
So, when Xiao Min first started to build his new family, he was also very screwed.
She even often turned to psychological counseling, trying to rely on external forces to help her get out of the predicament of her original family.
Fortunately, she met a reliable teammate, and her husband made an appointment with her in three chapters:
First, there is a reasonable division of labor between the internal and external affairs of the family, and after the division of labor is clear, no one can dictate the things that the other half is responsible for.
Second, try to divide the labor according to your interests and what you are good at, and you can naturally stick to what you like.
Third, husbands and wives should be considerate of each other, encourage each other, and share each other's burdens.
Now, Xiaomin's new family has been rebuilt by herself, and she no longer needs to break free from anyone's shackles.
God gave her a perfect other half, which is a good sign of "family division of labor and cooperation".
Everyone has their own social roles and positions, but the cornerstone of family stability and happiness must be the cooperation of multiple roles to form a joint force and be cast.
The tacit understanding of family life is not the empty vernacular "empathy", but the "sense of value that is needed" in the eyes of each other's families.
The best family relationship is that everyone has to go to work to make money, worry about the housekeeping of the family together, and take care of the baby together.
In this way, everyone knows that money is hard to earn, is hard to eat, and babies are hard to bring.
After having personal experience and division of labor, we can be more empathetic, understand the difficulty of empathizing with each other, and work together in the same direction.
The family cherishes fate
A good family is a grateful guardian
In his letter to his child, Hu Shi wrote:
"I gave birth to you, not because of kindness, but because of the instinctive blood of animals. Therefore, you do not need to repay me, but I want to thank you for coming and making my life more fulfilling. ”
Therefore, the co-construction of the family needs to be cherished and grateful.
My friend Brother Tao's father has been a repressive education for him since he was a child.
When I was in elementary school, I scored 99 points in the Chinese test, not only did I not get praise, but I would be asked where the other 1 point was lost, and whether I had checked it carefully and reviewed it carefully.
When I was in junior high school, the rebellious period broke out, because I was naughty, I was hung up and beaten by my father and whipped with a whip.
He also intensified and was unscrupulous as a confrontation.
His parents scolded him for not being grateful, and he scolded his parents for not being worthy of being parents.
Later, he had a son and a daughter of his own.
In order to get rid of his father's shadow, he secretly vowed that he would never become a father like his father.
If the child's grades are not good, he will encourage the child and accompany the child to find fun in learning.
The child is naughty and rebellious, and he will also try his best to restrain himself, telling himself that the children are all gifts from God.
He even took online classes everywhere, went to offline training classes, and learned parenting knowledge, and once became the best dad role model in the eyes of our friends, and was learned by parents.
He often said that after becoming a father, he learned to reconcile with his father and his original family.
I am also very grateful to God for giving him a grateful heart and cherishing the fate between himself and his children.
Brother Tao's treatment of his children is a good sign that "family cherishes fate".
Between parents and children, it should never be a confrontation and a game. Whoever has to fight for victory or loss must end up losing both.
The relationship between parents and children should be a cycle of love and nourishment.
A really good parent-child relationship is not about sacrificing each other, but about respecting and loving each other, and accompanying each other through a section of life.
In a beautiful family, the parent-child relationship must be a two-way rush of love.
There are good deeds in the family
A beautiful family lives on from good thoughts
Shi Xiangzai said: Good is the most treasure, a lifetime is inexhaustible, the heart is a good field, and there is more than enough for a hundred generations.
My friend Xiaohua's grandfather, born in the late 30s, is a particularly hard-working person.
Born in the era of famine and war, and because of his parents' immorality and incompetence, he was abandoned in the wilderness and waiting to die.
Later, Grandpa Xiaohua was rescued by his kind adoptive parents.
In the early 70s, when his family was poor and couldn't open the pot, he still went to be a barefoot doctor in his prime, with a meager income, but he saved many people.
But the mountains of the times pressed on his shoulders, and after a long period of upheaval, Xiaohua's grandfather and wife were separated.
Fortunately, once when he was practicing medicine in Yiwu, Zhejiang, he was in a large family for treatment, and he accidentally got a message from his wife and children.
In the end, the family was reunited and joined hands to fight against the torrent of the times.
Grandpa Xiaohua taught her from a young age to do good deeds and be a good person as much as she could.
Since her father was sensible, he was taken by his grandfather to help the children of poor families.
Four generations of grandparents, supple, gentle and kind, have always been a good person in the mouths of family, neighbors, and friends.
Grandpa Xiaohua often said: Doing good deeds and accumulating virtue is the best feng shui for a family.
Their entire family has been sowing goodwill for more than half a century, and they have also reaped the love of the world, which is a good sign that "all family members have good deeds".
Among the values of the Chinese nation, kindness has always been at the forefront. Kindness is often an orderly cycle.
All the kindness and love we give will come back to us in another way.
A kind heart is not all over the mountains. Family members have good deeds, they will heal each other, and kindness will be like a little star to light up the cold night.
But do good deeds, don't ask about the future, such a warm family will definitely have blessings.
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The book "Intimacy" says that the switch to happiness is in your hands.
Whether it is to fight against the bad habits brought by the original family, or to establish the necessary order for the new family, we need to operate step by step in a down-to-earth manner.
The family around them is harmonious, the husband and wife are harmonious, and the life is stable, all have one thing in common.
Family members are of the same heart, support each other, and be kind to others, they are the most close friends of the family, and their attention will always be focused on the family.
The real happiness of the family is the comfort of these fireworks and the warmth of the lights.
The process of family management is also a process of facing challenges and continuing to work hard, but as long as we are a family, we will think in one place and work hard in one place.
When the blessings of heaven see us, they will not turn around.
Author | Ziqiao Wang is sullen, a freelance writer, a female photographer, who has been traveling for 10 years, a fireworks collector in the world, and has been on the road.