Hello, I'm Yang Xiaoqian. A post-80s generation who focuses on personal growth and mental improvement
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01、
Bingxin said: "The flower of success, people often envy its current brightness, but at the beginning, its buds were soaked in the tears of struggle and sprinkled with the blood of sacrifice. ”
On the road of life, everyone wants to succeed.
Ordinary people seem to have a thousand difficulties and dangers if they want to succeed, and the most fundamental reason is that they are trapped in the "crow's law".
There is a "crow's law" in psychology that says:
A crow is always moving frequently, and life is bleak and sad. Because it's not popular anywhere, people especially hate its sound.
The crow is always changing places, but it never thinks about how to change its voice.
In this way, if the root problem cannot be solved, it will be impossible to have a good life.
As a human being, it is likely that you are also like a crow, sad and sad because others don't like you, but you don't think about why others don't like you.
02、
If a person wants to be successful, he must first have a deep understanding of himself.
Know your strengths and weaknesses and find the direction that suits you best.
If you don't know how to change yourself, you will always be trapped in the "crow's law", and you will work hard for a lifetime, but you will not succeed. Next, I will analyze and explain in detail.
A. Care about the eyes of others and change yourself at will
Guan Juer in "Ode to Joy", she is the hardest working and most serious one.
However, her efforts did not bear fruit.
She admired Andy's resoluteness as an elite in the workplace, so she began to follow the other party's approach. Running, reading, constantly changing their plans to keep up with Andy.
She was the last to leave work, so tired that she could fall asleep on the couch.
But even if she entered a very good company and passed the internship, she was still the most inferior of the five.
She feels that she is not as capable as Andy, not as high as Xiaoqu's emotional intelligence, not as beautiful as Sister Fan, and not even as cute as Qiu Yingying.
Guan Juer kept denying herself and constantly making changes, but she still couldn't find her own position, and she didn't even know what she was pursuing, so she kept being so mediocre.
Nasredan Hoxha said: "Do what you want, don't listen to the gossip, and you will succeed." ”
It is a good habit to learn from people who are better than yourself, but you must have a clear understanding of your own talents and abilities.
If you always change at will and don't know how to shape your own personality, it will be difficult to break out of the encirclement and achieve success.
If you care too much about the eyes of others, you will not be able to focus on yourself.
Always swaying from side to side, wasting energy, wasting time, and in the end, you will still achieve nothing.
B. Accustomed to shirking responsibilities and not knowing how to reflect
"Xunzi Persuasion" wrote: "Therefore, the wood is straight when it is roped, and the gold is sharpened, and the gentleman is erudite and the day is self-conscious, and there is no fault in knowing and doing." ”
When some people encounter setbacks and failures, the first thing they do is to find excuses to excuse themselves.
For example, it is his fault that the weather is not good, he is a little unwell, and someone is obstructing him......
It seems that if you push the responsibility to other aspects, you can be comforted in your heart and will not feel guilty and sad.
It is precisely this kind of psychology that makes people dare not face up to their mistakes. Lost the opportunity to improve yourself and let yourself become more and more ordinary.
It is not a bad thing for a person to encounter failure, but if you do not know how to reflect on yourself and learn from the experience and lessons of failure, you will never make progress.
If he is accustomed to shirking responsibility, he will never know how to truly take responsibility.
Even if he encounters a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, others will find him embarrassed and filter out his choices.
A wise person knows how to find reasons from himself. A failure solves the problem at the root and increases the chances of success.
C. When you encounter a problem, you choose to escape and not solve the problem
A colleague of mine, because of his outstanding eloquence, is very appreciated by the leader, and often gives him some more important tasks.
And he always packs a mouth full of tickets to undertake the work.
However, when he encounters problems, he always chooses to procrastinate, and he can't drag it out anymore, so he throws a sentence to others "Why don't you find someone else".
Over time, the leader no longer gave him important work.
Colleagues were also reluctant to deal with him, and he quickly became a marginal figure in the department.
In life, some people find their own shortcomings and don't want to change. When encountering a difficult problem, the first reaction is to choose to escape.
Lack of self-discipline has led to many plans being shelved. I feel that it has been delayed for so long, and the efforts may not be completed, and I will continue to delay without any breakthrough.
I know that the problem has not been solved, but I still go my own way, I don't care about it, and wait for others to clean up the mess.
Avoiding problems is a sign of going downhill.
If you can't deal with it head-on and actively fight against your own shortcomings, it will be difficult for you to grow and improve.
03、
Most people in life are a "crow", and they will be sad when they are talked about with ugly voices, have low self-esteem, and dare not meet people.
When encountering setbacks, they will complain that the environment they are in is not good, the people around them are not friendly, or they repeatedly change jobs, change places to develop, and so on.
In fact, if you want to go to a higher place, you must know how to self-examine, be clear about your strengths, determine the direction you are heading, and do not escape even if you are injured.
Take the initiative to take responsibility for yourself, transform in pain, face the problems and trials encountered in life, and make yourself stronger.
On the road of life, give yourself more positive encouragement and find your true self, in order to obtain down-to-earth happiness and happiness. With all their efforts and love, we will continue to get closer to success.
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Xiao Qian: A writer who loves words, loves words, and codes words for ten years. In his spare time, he will meet friends with words. For the rest of my life, with you by my side, life will be steaming.