"First Love Brother" Zhuang Guodong is most criticized by everyone because he doesn't let Huang Yimei order.
In everyone's opinion, Zhuang Guodong, like his mother, is a refined egoist who never knows how to respect others.
When Zhuang Guodong's family of three was eating, Zhuang's mother ordered four or five dishes by herself, and then returned the menu to the waiter, acquiescing that Zhuang Guodong and his father did not need to order.
When Zhuang Guodong had dinner with Huang Yimei, there were a total of 6 meals, and he didn't let Huang Yimei order 5 times.
Ay? Another time to eat, was Huang Yimei ordering?
When did Zhuang Guodong change?
There are traces of everything.
After Huang Yimei and Zhuang Guodong made a relationship on the phone on a rainy night, the first thing they did when they returned to Beijing was to run to Zhuang Guodong's cottage and deliver it to each other.
The next afternoon, Zhuang Guodong texted Huang Yimei and asked her if she had time to have dinner together.
Huang Yimei, who is in love, of course hopes to see Zhuang Guodong, so she readily agreed, but the content of the text messages she sent was very interesting.
“You’re the boss （你说了算）。 ”
If Huang Yimei simply agreed to eat, Zhuang Guodong would not have any other ideas.
But Huang Yimei replied, "You have the final say", which released a signal to Zhuang Guodong - "Huang Yimei may not be a particularly assertive person, she hopes that I will help her make the decision, and she likes to listen to me."
(In life, you may have encountered this kind of person who has no opinion, they just don't like to make their own decisions, and they have to make decisions about everything.) ）
After work, the two went to the Western restaurant to eat sweetly, and although they sat on both sides of the table, they put up the menu and read the menu together with relish.
Zhuang Guodong asked Huang Yimei what she wanted to eat, and Huang Yimei said gently, "You decide."
Then, Zhuang Guodong decided to eat fish.
Of course, they didn't finish the meal, because Zhuang Guodong didn't admit Huang Yimei's identity in front of his mother.
The second time I ate, Huang Yimei went to France to find Zhuang Guodong and wanted to try it in a local restaurant.
Huang Yimei carefully looked at the menu and ordered "white wine stewed mussels", but Zhuang Guodong suggested that they eat sandwiches instead, citing time constraints.
In a hurry, Huang Yimei sensibly did not object.
In Huang Yimei's view, she just understands Zhuang Guodong, not that she has no ideas of her own and will not make decisions for herself.
But this incident may once again make Zhuang Guodong think that Huang Yimei likes to listen to him and doesn't care about being arranged by him.
Therefore, that night, Zhuang Guodong bought a baguette by himself, even if Huang Yimei stopped him, he still had to buy 1,800 yuan of caviar, just to be good to Huang Yimei according to his own ideas.
For the fourth meal, Zhuang Guodong came back from France to prevent Huang Yimei from getting married, but still didn't show Huang Yimei the menu, thinking that he ordered crystal shrimp, stir-fried eel silk and braised pork ribs, saying that Huang Yimei loves to eat.
Analyzing these, it is not that Zhuang Guodong has no problems.
He really doesn't know how to respect people so much, otherwise he would have engraved the concept of respecting the wishes of his lover into his bones.
Even if your lover repeatedly refuses, he should ask his lover's opinion every time he eats.
But Huang Yimei's relationship with Zhuang Guodong confirms the importance of "making rules".
The so-called "rules" means that when we get along with others for the first time, we must clearly and firmly express our position and draw clear boundaries.
For example, if we are very assertive people, there is no need to pretend to be good at talking when we meet for the first time, and let the other person make decisions.
Why do you have to be kind, easy to get along with, and easy to talk to?
If we are not such a character, when we meet for the first time, we have to show it clearly.
If we start pretending to be familiar and want to return to our true nature after we are familiar with it, it will break the pattern we have formed with others and make others think, "Why have you suddenly changed?" ”
Both were uncomfortable.
Many girls go to their in-laws' house for the first time and encounter the problem of whether to wash the dishes.
If we don't usually wash the dishes at home, and we don't plan to wash the dishes in the future, then there is no need to pretend to be virtuous and virtuous, help clean up after eating, and then sit and eat melon seeds.
If the in-laws can't get used to it, then bring it up as soon as possible to save greater conflicts after marriage.
After Huang Yimei experienced Fang Xiewen's control, she finally tore off the mask of "good talk".
For the fifth dinner, Zhuang Guodong invited Huang Yimei after the divorce to dinner, and according to the usual practice, he did not ask for her opinion, and directly ordered a French meal.
Huang Yimei used her way of being a person to govern her body, and let Zhuang Guodong accommodate her daughter to eat fast food.
Zhuang Guodong finally understood how bad it felt to be arranged by others.
waited until the 6th dinner, Zhuang Guodong also invited Huang Yimei to eat French food.
Huang Yimei finally got the menu, and Zhuang Guodong finally learned to respect, silently waiting for her to order.
Seeing that Huang Yimei didn't choose for a long time, Zhuang Guodong said, let's follow the set menu first.
Many viewers found that they only ate one dish for this meal - braised mussels in white wine, which was so shabby.
In fact, it was not that Zhuang Guodong was shabby, but that he only ordered this one dish, and the other dishes were waiting for Huang Yimei to order.
Huang Yimei and Zhuang Guodong's 6 meals confirmed an unspoken rule of getting along with people.
How others treat us has something to do with our own needs and the quality of others.
If we want others to treat us seriously, we need to be discerning and get along with people with good qualities, and we also need to be straightforward in the early stages of our relationship.
Don't grieve yourself for the so-called "good character", "politeness" and "humility".
It is likely that others will not see our grievances and think that we like to be treated this way.
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