The tragedy of bullying is back! A 13-year-old boy was splashed with boiling water by eight classmates

A small package of hemp

2024-05-27 10:53Posted in Beijing, creators in the field of parenting

Some time ago, the case of three junior high school students in Handan who killed their classmates, do you remember? Not long after that, a shocking incident happened in Guangxi recently, which pushed the topic of "school bullying" to the hot search.

On May 21, it was exposed on the Internet that a boy at Longxiang School in Longan County, Nanning, was seriously scalded by bullying.

According to the child's father, this is not the first time that the child has been bullied, and since March and April, these people have been constantly finding fault and asking their children to wash their clothes.

If the child did not agree, he covered his head with his clothes, pricked the child with a paper clip dipped in ink, and hit him a dozen times.

On May 7, the bullies again asked the children to do their laundry, but the boy refused, and they stripped them of all their clothes, leaving only a pair of underwear.

Then, 8 classmates called 11 pots of boiling water and splashed it directly on the boys, causing severe burns on a large area of the body.

In order not to expose the evil deeds, these bullies require the boy to wear long pants and long sleeves, and not to tell the teacher and family, otherwise he will be killed.

On May 15, another student accidentally opened the dormitory door and saw the scar on the boy's body, and immediately told the instructor, and after 9 days, the school and the teacher learned about it. 

Although the boy was immediately sent to the hospital, the burned area on his body had already ulcerated and pus, and it was so heartbreaking that he couldn't bear to look at it directly.

According to the parents, after the incident was exposed, the school was unwilling to compensate at first, and only paid 6,000 yuan for the early hospitalization.

Later, after they reported the case, the local education bureau, the women's federation, and the public security bureau all knew about the incident, and the principal rushed 200,000 yuan to the hospital.

On May 22, the Education Bureau reported that 2 of the students who bullied the boys were criminally detained, 6 were administratively detained, and the school was also required to strictly rectify the situation.

I would like to share my thoughts on bullying in schools.

Cases of bullying in schools emerge one after another, and each time it is extremely egregious. Many parents are scared every day:

"My child is so honest, will he suffer at school?"

"My child is weak, will he be bullied at school?"

There are also many parents who think that "if bullying is not taken seriously, then it can only be forced to let children fight violence with violence." ”

We certainly want the children who are being bullied to be brave.

But being brave means telling your child that if they are bullied, don't just tolerate it because they feel ashamed or afraid of being threatened, and tell their family, teachers, or friends in time.

Instead of teaching children to fight violence with violence.

If a half-grown child who does not know evil does not receive positive guidance, the party being bullied will also become a bully.

Just like Keigo Higashino's "Malice" said: "If you choose evil, you go to evil." ”

A 2018-2021 survey of more than 13,000 primary and secondary school students across the country showed that 19.9% of students would be involved in school bullying incidents, of which 16.2% were bullied, 0.9% were bullies, and 2.8% were both bullies and bullies.

When school bullying happens, "no one is a winner." ”

If you search for "bullying" and "school bullying" as keywords, among the more than 200 relevant judgment documents, some of the bullied were physically harmed, some suffered from depression, and some even died due to conflicts......

There are also a small number of people who are bullied, and their lives will eventually be completely changed because of other non-violent crimes such as theft.

We want to reduce bullying in schools, and a large part of the attention should be on bullies.

Reduce the occurrence of bullying at the source, rather than just thinking about how to avoid being bullied and how to remedy it afterwards

"Why bully people?"

When asked about this question by Zhou Zhao, a juvenile offender who was a former bully, at the Chengdu Detention Center, he said:

"When I fight with people, my brain seems to be congested, and the whole person is very excited, and I don't seem to feel the pain of my fists."

Of course, he didn't feel the fear and pain of the other party. It wasn't until the other party was covered in bruises and knelt on his knees to beg for mercy that he felt a kind of satisfaction from the inside out, "This person has been subdued by me." ”

You will find that a typical psychological characteristic of bullies is to take pleasure in the pain of others, and to gain a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction by bullying others.

"Don't be a repressive parent!"

Why do they become bullies? Problematic children tend to have a problematic family.

Blogger "Li Doll" did a social experiment on "how far away is bullying", and asked him to post what kind of bullying he had encountered on the road.

In the end, it can be seen that "excluded, isolated" and "suppressed education" are full of stickers.

Just imagine, a child who has been suppressed and educated will either become inferior and cowardly, become the target of bullying, be excluded and isolated, and even if he is bullied at school, he will not dare to resist or tell his parents.

Either a child has been suppressed and educated for a long time, and he is not convinced but has no ability to resist adults, so he can only bully the weak to gain a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, and become a bully.

Today, repressive education is still common.

According to Zhou Zhao, the bully, he changed schools, but because he did not adapt to the new environment, his grades declined, and he began to get tired of school. Gradually, he became playful, often skipping school and fighting.

My parents are busy with work and usually don't communicate much with themselves. But as soon as his parents opened their mouths, they accused him of all kinds of wrongs, and only emphasized his studies and achievements.

He didn't listen to him at all, sometimes he quarreled with his parents, and it was almost common for him to be beaten and scolded, and the situation was even worse when his father was drunk.

In order to find an emotional outlet, he vented his depression at home outside. While bullying his classmates, the fist falls and he feels released.

Not only families, it is undeniable that there are still teachers in schools who treat poor students coldly:

In many schools, poor students are seated in the back row or in the corner;

There is almost no normal language communication between the teacher and the poor students, and sometimes they even sneer at the poor students in front of the whole class;

In the classroom, some teachers not only never give poor students the opportunity to answer questions, but even they will not approach poor students when they walk around the classroom during lectures;

Some teachers avoid or even refuse to answer the questions of the poor students, doubt the progress of the poor students, and pour all their so-called "love" into those students who think they are "excellent".

For such students, many parents and teachers feel headaches, and some schools even give up, leaving them to fend for themselves.

This is tantamount to "letting the tiger go back to the mountain" and laying a hidden danger for school bullying.

To treat this kind of child, at least we can do these three things first:

1. Be attentive to children who make mistakes

When dealing with students' problems, they should not be simple and rude, rush to achieve results, and "know them with reason, move them with feelings" and persuade them patiently.

Tell them over and over again what should be done and what should not be done. Let them distinguish between right and wrong, recognize their mistakes, and correct them.

It is best to use some people he knows as examples, or the teacher's own personal experience, he can listen to it more easily, and you can also show him some videos for some of his shortcomings and mistakes, and then educate him, the effect will be much better than simply reasoning.

2. Amplify the fault tolerance of education

It's inevitable that children will make some mistakes. If there is too much emphasis on safety, curb the child's playful nature. If a child does a little prank, he is labeled a bad boy.

For children who are not afraid of rules, the more this happens, the more they will reinforce confrontational behavior, constantly challenge your authority and bottom line, and create a risk of bullying to some extent.

As long as it is not a particularly serious mistake of principle, we should be tolerant and give our children a chance to correct it.

But when dealing with your child's mistakes, pay attention to these three points:

1. Don't criticize in public, give him face.

2. Calm attitude. First of all, don't be emotional, don't beat and scold your child as soon as you come up

3. There are reservations in the processing. If he realizes that he is wrong, he can deal with it lightly.

3. Teach students according to their aptitude

Don't just care about grades, but also give poor students opportunities, teach them according to their aptitude, explore children's various skills, encourage them to display their individuality, and find their own sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

In short, treating poor students requires parents, teachers, and all levels of society to jointly contribute energy, time, and more snacks.

At least try your best and don't give up on any child, even if you can't become a top student or an elite, at least you can grow up physically and mentally healthy, and don't bully others or endanger society.

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