In the matter of "dirty exits", why can children be thorough and self-taught?

Nutrients

2024-05-27 11:14Posted in Beijing, creators in the field of parenting

Two days ago, I saw a news article about the phenomenon of primary school students' "dirty mouth": "In the past, the signs of swearing generally began to emerge in the third grade, but now it is gradually showing a trend of younger age, and swear words will actually come out of the mouths of children in the first and second grades." ”

If you think about it, it is. The age at which children are exposed to swear words and swear words is getting younger and younger, which deserves the vigilance of parents and schools.

Image source: TV series "Hello, Old Times"

My baby is the same, she can't escape the clutches of swearing. Last weekend, the child and his father were watching a football game at home, and they were so excited that they suddenly burst into a foul language, which shocked me and his father.

After repeated questioning, he reluctantly said that when the classmates played together and played basketball after class, everyone talked like this, thinking "It's not a big deal." ”

I told him that it was wrong to swear, but he told me that if he didn't swear, he would be laughed at by his classmates, and the "dilemma" made the old mother worried.

has a girlfriend who is a homeroom teacher in a primary school, and she is used to seeing the matter of children "spitting fragrant mouths".

When they are happy, when they are angry, when they are joking, when they are fighting, when they are telling a story, many children will say a few swear words. Unless the student is really swearing and swearing, she generally doesn't bother to criticize and stop it.

Children don't think that swearing words are attacking others, sometimes they are just expressing emotions, sometimes they emphasize surprise, admiration, and sometimes they don't even have a specific meaning, just casual talk.

This also explains why the spread of profanity among younger elementary school students is so rapid and widespread.

Image source: TV series "Basic Law of Genius"

Whether it is school education or home education, children are not taught to swear. But why is it that in this matter, the child can understand it at a little and without a teacher?

First and foremost is the locale. People's learning of language is essentially a process of imitation.

Many children know that swearing is wrong, but in a "swearing" language environment, they will involuntarily imitate and swear along with them.

The locale of profanity comes from two main parts. On the one hand, it is the influence of classmates and playmates of similar age. As long as one classmate in a class starts swearing, it can easily evolve into a group of people who start swearing.

If most people think it's cool to swear, swearing together will become a gregarious behavior, and vice versa, it will be easy to be ostracized.

On the other hand, today's online environment is full of foul language, and even if the youth protection mode is turned on, it is difficult to block all the profanity. And the earlier a child uses the Internet, the sooner they will be exposed to profanity.

In addition, there are often some vicious curses and obscene language in online scolding wars, which adults find unbearable, but elementary school students watch with relish, which may be more terrible than swear words in reality.

This has also triggered a new phenomenon: some children are more well-behaved than anyone else in reality, but they are dirtier than anyone else when they scold people on the Internet, and they seem to be quiet and polite, but in fact they have been eroded by extreme Internet language.

Image source: TV series "Dark Glory"

Every day when children go to school and surf the Internet, they will be exposed to swearing, but parents cannot let their children withdraw from school and disconnect from the Internet.

In the face of a mixed reality and virtual environment, it is obviously not feasible to expect physical isolation to stop children from swearing. So, what can parents do?

First, we can think about a question. Although every parent teaches their children that "no swearing", parents may have spoken or spoken to a greater or lesser extent as they grow up.

Then an interesting phenomenon arises: swearing is something that everyone does, but it is a bad thing. In other words, everyone is doing bad things.

In the face of parental discipline, children will also feel: why can adults say but children can't? Why can others say it, but not yourself?

It seems to be a bit of a moral paradox. This may indicate that there is another way of understanding the matter of swearing.

In fact, swearing is not necessarily a completely bad thing, and judging the nature of swearing needs to consider the two dimensions of degree and frequency.

In terms of degree, swear words are graded, some are some of the more vulgar words that have become people's language habits, and some are very tricky, vicious, and full of anger, and the meaning and influence of the two are different.

Image source: TV series "Bright Sword"

The second is the frequency of swearing, specifically, whether a person uses swearing as a mantra and keeps it on his lips all the time, or only in a few specific situations.

You must know that many adults, even people with a high level of education and good upbringing, will occasionally say one or two foul words in some specific situations, which does not mean that he is a person without quality.

Therefore, swearing cannot be generalized, and swearing is not a heinous thing, but has different meanings and brings different effects according to the degree and frequency.

If the child occasionally utters a word or two that is not very civil, it is actually harmless. If parents go online because of this, it will only allow children to separate the language and behavior in the school environment from the home environment.

However, if a child uses swear words as a mantra, "spit fragrantly" as a language habit, or attacks and curses others with malice, it must be a bad habit that needs to be corrected.

On the one hand, swearing can easily cause disputes, which can then develop into quarrels and brawls, which endanger the safety of children. Different people understand swear words differently, and your jokes can also offend others, which can lead to a fight.

On the other hand, swearing can easily make people feel unqualified and uneducated. Swearing in public and in formal settings creates a negative personal image and limits personal growth and development.

Image source: The movie "The Best Friend"

In fact, the most important reason why children regard swearing as a habit is that they do not recognize its negative effects.

Therefore, parental education needs to start with the harm of swearing, so that children can realize that swearing is not only fun and exciting, but also has a bad impact on themselves.

In addition, parents should also teach their children to distinguish between situations and occasions, and understand that it is okay when to swear and when to swear should be resolutely eliminated.

It is not a simple order to the child: "Everyone else can do it, but you can't." ”

Rather, it is about letting children know that there are different ways of expressing themselves in different contexts, and that people are responsible for the consequences of their words.

View original image 84K

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

•