Chatting with an older sister who has been married for 25 years, this sister said something that made the women present ponder.
Sister Says:
Middle-aged couples, sweeping the snow in front of the door is already the greatest kindness. Carry your own business, digest yourself when you're unhappy, and go around in circles together when you're happy. If you have something to talk about and something to do, don't engage in emotional internal friction, and the relationship will definitely get better and better.
When we were young, the feelings we imagined were the icing on the cake. It is only in middle age that people understand that marriage is a practice, cultivating the body and mind, and cultivating the realm.
If the mentality is right, the marriage will be smooth, as psychologists say: one of the biggest discoveries of psychology is that a person can change his life by changing his mentality.
The height of life is not how many things are seen clearly, but how many things are underestimated.
One
Don't blame when you encounter problems, solving problems is the king
When you are young and vigorous, everyone likes to fight about right and wrong, win or lose, and it seems that as long as you take advantage of yourself, you have a supreme sense of superiority.
But people only find out in middle age that complaints and accusations can't solve any problems, and the supreme sense of superiority of the winner will only make two people fall into the emotion of opposites, and the problem is still a problem, and even more problems arise.
This kind of emotional and emotional friction will only push each other further.
My sister said that when I was young, I could quarrel with a big contradiction, if the other party did something wrong and brought trouble to the family, I blurted out accusations and complaints, and finally the two people quarreled back and forth, and the quarrels were all emotions, you blame me, I blame you, but the problem has not been solved in the slightest.
After middle age, right and wrong aside, the first thing to consider is to solve the problem.
For example, not long ago, a man secretly lent a sum of money to his good brother was in arrears, but the old man in the family happened to be seriously ill and needed a medical bill.
In the past, my sister would definitely slash her head and cover her face and accuse, but now she won't, she first found a way to solve the urgent need in front of her, and then took the time to listen to the man talk about the reasons behind it. It turned out that the child of the good brother was difficult to get sick back then, and he was very nervous at hand, and the man couldn't bear it, so he secretly borrowed another sum of money from his sister, and there was no IOU.
But the good brother is still not rich, and although he admits to this arrears, he cannot return it as promised.
In the past, my sister would have been furious and scolded and accused, but now that my sister has figured it out, what's the use of accusing and scolding? It's better to solve the problem quickly.
When people reach middle age, they have long been disdainful of the details, and if they can solve the problem with actions, they will definitely not use emotions to cause mental internal friction.
Two
Don't compare, don't be pretentious, and live your own life
Once, my sister was also one of the women who "hated her husband and didn't become a dragon", in the face of men's unmotivated and unmotivated, she looked at it in her eyes, was anxious in her heart, and when she was angry, she would also open her mouth to say: You look at other people's husbands, and then you look at yourself!
Especially in the years when men were lying flat, every time they quarreled, my sister would even blurt out a sentence: I really regret dying of marrying you!
There is no way, the three views of the two people are quite different. The elder sister is competitive and enterprising, while the man has a gentle temperament and is greedy for comfort, and just wants to live a little bit of the life of a wife and children. When such two people are together, they are destined to be like Mars hitting the earth and turning the world upside down.
Later, my sister also analyzed her heart, in fact, she didn't have too much interest in those fame and fortune, she could also accept the mediocrity of men, and even men attracted her in person, it was the calmness and calmness on her body, but in those years of hypocrisy and vanity, she just couldn't hang on her face, and felt that the men in her family were not enterprising, and they were not as good as other men who had high achievements in their careers.
It wasn't until people reached middle age and saw a lot of joys, sorrows, and joys that they felt more and more good about the men in their own family.
Writer Zheng Xinyao said:
Half of the tiredness of life comes from survival, and more than half comes from comparison.
Don't be full of filters about other people's lives, life is your own, and comfort is the most important thing behind closed doors.
Mr. Yang Jiang once said:
When you have seen the world and seen all living beings, you will find that the world you want to see is the bravery and self-confidence in your heart. When you have seen the four seasons and seen the wind and clouds, you will find that the beautiful scenery you want to see is your inner calmness and calmness.
Mentality determines life, and if the mentality is different, your life will be smooth.