Spiritual Guru Zhang Defen said:
"The desire to share is the basis of an intimate relationship."
A good relationship is that I want to share it with you, and you respond with your heart;
If you want to talk to me, I'll stay with you when I put down my work.
The two-way desire to share is the best preservative of feelings.
Marriages with a desire to share
The ups and downs are beautiful
I swiped a video on the Internet.
The husband asked his wife after the party, "Have you eaten enough?"
The wife burped and replied:
"Hold on."
Then she was content to share with her husband that she and her colleagues had delicious tiger skin chicken feet, crayfish, and her husband's favorite black pepper grilled fish.
The husband lying on the sofa was coquettish and complained that his wife had forgotten him.
At this time, the wife took out the black pepper grilled fish in the bag and said to her husband dotingly:
"I'm so popular, how can I forget the little gluttonous cat at home!"
The husband was eating grilled fish, and the wife was dancing with him to share the interesting things that happened during the dinner.
The husband nodded frequently in agreement, and the two exchanged a few words from time to time, and love spread in the small room.
In the face of her husband's inquiry, the wife was not perfunctory.
The two have a share and a share, and in listening and communicating, they make connections and resonate.
Feelings enter marriage, and most of them are trivial matters of firewood, rice, oil and salt.
Freshness is temporary.
The way to combat flatness and prevent the relationship from flowing into indifference is to maintain a strong desire to share with each other.
Both sides have a good discussion, listen to each other, and respond a lot.
In the sharing of trivial things, the heart becomes more and more close.
Writer Yu Hua said:
"People are busy pursuing material wealth, but they forget the loneliness of their hearts."
In fact, when wealth is not enough, marriage can be very happy.
When Mr. Yang Jiang went to the countryside, he lived in a mud hut.
She had to do heavy farm work and clean toilets every day, and lived a very poor life.
Husband Qian Zhongshu is full of concern.
The two of them exchanged letters at two ends in three days, ranging from caring for each other's daily life to discussing survival and development.
In that difficult time, Yang Jiang had difficulties and frustrations.
But the letters exchanged between them did not dissipate their relationship with each other.
The two also had more courage to fight against the hard years.
On the other hand, some couples are like a river, and one person is perfunctory, and over time, there is nothing to say, and the relationship is weakened.
We often say:
Where time is spent, love is there.
No matter if you are in the same room or far apart, as long as you keep sharing with each other, respond with your heart, and live a dull life, you also feel the warmth, and there is love to support you in difficult moments.
At the heart of the desire to share is to express love
What is the desire to share?
Some people understand it and keep confiding in each other.
So, babbling on and on about miscellaneous things, and finally turned into complaints.
Some people understand that they report to the other party in every detail.
So, the news bombarded in turns, and I couldn't wait to make a list of the day's experiences and tell them to the other party.
This is actually a misconception.
The desire to share is not venting, not sharing, it is the flow of love, and the emotional connection between the two people after receiving feedback.
My best friend's baby bronchitis was hospitalized.
In the video of her best friend and her husband on a business trip, she shared the details of her holding the baby alone and taking pictures, how to soothe the baby's crying, and went through various admission procedures with stitches.
The girlfriend's tone was tired, but it didn't turn into complaining.
What she said was her love for her baby and her need for her husband.
On the other end of the video, the husband kept praising his girlfriend's ability, expressing his gratitude, and at the same time, he immediately booked a ticket and promised to be home in the evening.
From beginning to end, the two had no disputes, and in the peaceful communication, they conveyed their concerns and needs for each other.
There are two people in the entertainment industry who were once known as golden boys and girls, but they eventually parted ways.
Talking about the reasons for the divorce, the actress said:
"Every time, I was expressing my demands, and the other party did not respond.
Even, even his own collapse, the other party can't see it. ”
On Valentine's Day and his own birthday, the husband asks what he wants?
But when he was full of anticipation, he had no follow-up.
Unilateral giving, no interaction, and no response.
Over time, the heart is cold, and the actress can only choose to let go.
There is a very popular quote on the Internet:
Of course, I don't care what shape the cloud is, and I don't care if the bubble tea shop on the side of the road is open or not, and I don't think there is anything to take pictures of the rice when it is boiled.
All the meaningless things I have told you are essentially hoping that you will participate in my life and maintain a loving connection with me.
The core of the desire to share is the output of love.
Marriage is born out of love.
The trivial things, the big things of birth, old age, sickness and death, are all experiencing love.
We must learn to wrap trivial things in the language of love, and pass on our care and concern to each other.
How to keep the desire to share
When we become less open-minded, our feelings for love slowly decline and eventually we have nothing to say.
No one regards the end of a relationship as the initial goal of marriage.
Therefore, we need to find ways to maintain each other's desire to share and make the relationship more intimate.
1. Positive feedback, a virtuous cycle
When we share, we should listen carefully and respond positively.
For example, when the husband says he is tired, the wife replies:
"Yes, it's not easy to work, rest early in the evening."
Then give each other a warm hug.
The wife lamented that the child was not easy to carry, and the husband could thank the other party for his efforts and take the initiative to take on the housework.
There are contacts and positive feedback, and sharing will move towards a virtuous circle.
In short, listen carefully to each other's joys, sorrows, and sorrows, and actively respond to each other's trivialities, and the desire to share will become stronger.
2. Allow for differences in the relationship
Psychologist Satya said:
"We are together because of our similarities, but we grow because of our differences."
After marriage, the differences in the personalities and hobbies of the husband and wife will gradually be exposed.
As long as we don't touch the bottom line, we must learn to accept and affirm the other half.
Don't hold prejudices and deprive others of the right to express themselves just because the other party thinks differently from you.
Your ideas are your standards, not the other party's.
Communicate with an accepting and curious attitude, and you can often find a different kind of brilliance in the sharing.
This will also keep the relationship renewed, generating more topics and growing for both parties.
3. Experience together and walk hand in hand
"You play games, I chase dramas" "You play mahjong, I go shopping." ”
The time and space lines of the two do not intersect, each does its own thing, and there are naturally not many things that can be shared, and the desire to share will decline.
Find something that you both enjoy doing.
For example, sports, travel, even going to the supermarket, and so on.
As long as the two of them are involved in something that they both like, there will naturally be something to talk about.
Husbands and wives are also comrades-in-arms who fight together.
Looking for a common goal in life, working together, and on the way to struggle, there must be a flow of language.
Every love begins with affection.
However, if the marriage is too long, time will consume the passion, and the romantic wind and snow will be replaced by the firewood, rice, oil and salt of life.
Husband and wife have been working together for decades, and only by maintaining the desire to share and constantly injecting fresh vitality into the relationship can the marriage not be eroded by trivial matters.
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There's a good saying:
Sharing is just a small thing, but it is the big thing that sustains love.
Maintain the desire to share, and the two will always have an emotional connection, then this relationship will always be sweet.
So, please cherish that sweet word of yours.
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