After middle age, life seems to enter a difficult mode.
I am busy with the trivial things at home and the difficult things at work, and I am worried about the money in my pocket and the children's studies when I close my eyes.
Turning 40 is like a watershed.
You can't be lighter anymore, you have the scales of life hanging on your body, and the years are in shambles.
But the hardships of life are unavoidable, so we can only change the way of living.
Learn to start a minimalist life, manage the following three points, and life will not be too sad.
Saving
When we were young, we lived by the idea that there is no point in making money without spending money.
When you reach a certain age, you understand that if you don't take money seriously, money won't take you seriously.
Recently revisited "Friends", actor Joey immediately moved into a luxury apartment after becoming the main actor.
His weekly salary is used to buy designer clothes, leather bags and jewelry.
Occasionally, he was short of cash, and he used his fame to "brush his face" at the merchants.
Friends advised him that it was rare for his career to improve, and he should seize this opportunity to save more money.
He disagreed:
"It's hard to start playing the leading role, why do you have to live like a supporting role?"
Three months later, the crew axed Joey's role due to the series' declining ratings.
Joey moved out of the luxury apartment, and the luxury goods bought at a high price could only be sold cheaply.
When his friend saw him again, he was holding his stomach while auditioning in pain.
It turned out that Joey contracted a hernia shortly after leaving the crew, and because he had no savings, he had to find a job before he could be reimbursed for the surgery through labor insurance.
From spending money to being overstretched, Joey's story validates Munger's words:
"The importance of saving money is not how happy you are when you have money, but how embarrassed you are when you don't."
How many middle-aged people don't understand this truth.
In order not to lose face, a friend buys a high-end car, and you have to grit your teeth and change it.
For the so-called exquisiteness, pick all kinds of famous brands to wear, and it costs tens of thousands of dollars to wear a whole outfit.
Making money is like picking up soil with a needle, spending money is like water pushing sand, and our wallets will be deflated if we are not careful.
Now, I increasingly agree with an old saying:
"If the soup is not salty, it is not as good as water, and if people have no money, they are not as good as ghosts."
When is the heart the most bitter?
When you are healed, your pocket is cleaner than your face, and your heart is the most bitter at this time.
When is the most humiliating?
When you use money, you beg people around in a low voice, which is the most embarrassing time.
Writer Li Ao told a story in "Money is a Good Thing".
When Sima Guang was prime minister, people often visited him.
The most common questions he asks when he chats with people are:
"Does your family have any money?"
Many people are curious why Sima Guang asked this.
Sima Guang explained:
"If you don't have money, you can't help but bend your waist for five buckets of rice;
Only when you have money can you have an independent personality, and you can not be an official at any time. ”
Money not only keeps you from starving, but it also protects freedom.
How well it is said, money is a talisman and a boat to cross the bitter sea.
The money that should be spent must be spent;
Save every penny of money that shouldn't be spent.
When people reach middle age, everything is off, and only money can solve their worries.
Health
45-55 years old is an interesting age group.
We all say it's the golden age of life.
Doctors call it a swamp of life's journey.
At this age, the body begins to decline, the organs begin to age, and various problems occur frequently.
Zhihu netizen @Liyong is a doctor in the Department of Cardiovascular Medicine, and he has received a 50-year-old uncle.
This uncle never leaves his mouth with cigarettes and alcohol.
For his two meals at noon and evening, he must eat three taels of liquor before eating, and if it is a family gathering or a friend's dinner, he has to drink without getting drunk and not returning.
Smoking is even more ferocious, three packs a day, light one when you are busy to relieve fatigue, and swallow clouds and spit out fog to dissipate boredom when you have nothing to do.
Drinking and smoking have been intemperate for a long time, which has buried many hidden dangers for his health.
In the winter of this year, once he had a stroke due to excessive drinking, and fainted at home, but fortunately, his family sent him to seek medical attention in time, and he picked up one.
The uncle couldn't help but be afraid.
If the other person is really gone, will the whole family collapse because of it?
If he falls halfway due to a stroke, will it drag down his children and partner?
Middle-aged people are the pillars of a family, and they can't get sick or fall.
When people reach middle age, it's time to put their health at the top, not only for themselves, but also for their families.
Here, I have two health tips.
The first is to maintain health, first to nourish the body.
Drink less alcohol and smoke less to plug the health loopholes at the root.
Exercise more, pay more attention to dietary nutrition, and take good care of your body.
At the same time, adhere to the annual regular physical examination, timely follow-up and review of problematic indicators, and sweep away hidden dangers.
The second is to maintain health, to nourish the heart.
There is a proper noun called "cancer character".
Modern medicine has found that long-term anxiety, fear, sadness and other emotions will affect and reduce the body's immunity and increase the incidence of cancer with a chronic and persistent stimulus.
The heart is one inch wide, and the illness is one foot away.
Forget what should be forgotten, let go of what should be put away, worry free in your heart, and your body will be fine.
There is a famous quote from a philosopher:
"It's our responsibility to stay healthy."
Taking care of your body is the responsibility of middle-aged people.
When we have a good body, we are qualified to take care of our family and enjoy the joy of family.
No chicken baby
For middle-aged parents, the difficulty of life is half the hardship of making a living, and half of the worry of their children's education.
Especially the latter, education is a mountain that weighs on them.
One wrong question can drive them crazy, and a single failure in an exam can make them worry.
This echoes Professor Peng Kaiping's words:
"Education is one of the most anxious places in this society."
In recent years, it is not uncommon to see news of chicken babies and chickens being anxious.
For example, a boy in Shanxi was slapped by his mother because he was not familiar with chemistry knowledge points.
A pair of 985 double master's parents were so angry with their scumbag son that they always prepared a quick-acting heart-saving pill.
You see, in the end, the parents are exhausted, and the parent-child relationship is in jeopardy.
Blogger @清芷 works as a Chinese teacher in a key primary school.
After her son entered primary school, she would make a detailed study plan for her children every day and every week.
In addition to teaching at school, she devotes almost all of her time to her children's learning.
In the evenings, she would accompany him through his homework for each subject, supervise him in preparation and revision, and correct any problems as soon as they were found.
On weekends, she takes her children to various interest training classes.
Who would have thought that such a chicken baby would torture the child and drive himself crazy.
Because of the pressure she exerted, the child became disgusted with school.
She was angry when she saw her child's poor learning state.
The mother and son unknowingly fell into a vicious circle of "she manages - the child doesn't listen - she gets angry - the child loses his temper and doesn't want to learn".
She had to change the way she was educated: she gave her children a relaxed learning environment and no longer interfered too much.
During that period of time, she focused on teaching when she was busy, read books, arranged flowers to entertain her body and mind in her spare time, and asked about her children's learning once a week.
Eventually, she found that she was less annoyed and that her children were no longer reluctant to learn.
Blindly following the trend of chicken babies will only make children depressed and make themselves anxious.
Child psychologist Alison Gopnik divides parents into two categories: "gardeners" and "carpenters."
The former is based on the child's habits and does not interfere too much.
The latter puts their own standards and requirements first, and transforms their children step by step.
Good parents are gardeners.
They only provide the soil in which the child grows freely.
Let the flowers become flowers, let the trees become trees, this is the liberation of the child, but also the fulfillment of oneself.
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Balzac said:
"In the storms of life, we should follow the example of a captain and throw away the bulky cargo in the storm to reduce the weight of the ship."
Once a person reaches middle age, he becomes the captain at the helm.
We take a look at our lives, one thing after another, one level after another, and people can't stop.
But if you look closely, you will find that the most important things are nothing more than three things: money, body, and children.
Halfway through life, learn to tune into a minimalist mode.
When we can handle these three major events, we will actually solve our lives.