Narrator: Zhang Chunsheng
Source: Contributed by netizens
Before I knew it, my stepfather passed away on the first anniversary, and yesterday I came over to burn the anniversary paper for him, sat down to talk to him, and I told my stepfather, wait for me, wait for me to get there, and then continue to be his son.
My name is Zhang Chunsheng, I am 55 years old this year, my childhood was unfortunate, my biological father left me in an accident when I was 6 years old, and my world has been dark since then.
I was lucky enough to have a stepfather when I was 8 years old.
In the spring of 1970, I was born in a small village on the bank of the Huai River, which is very large, about 2,000 people.
The village had many people and little land, and in those days it was still a production team, with no fertilizer for farming, low crop yields, floods, and famine for half a year
I don't remember anything before I was 6 years old, but I remember that in the winter when I was 6 years old, it was overcast, and a few people suddenly came to the house, they were pushing a wheelbarrow, my father was curled up in the car, his face was covered with blood, and my mother was so frightened that she hugged my father and cried.
That night, my father was gone, and my mother sat on the threshold, her hair disheveled, her hands tapping the ground, crying and calling out her father's name.
The neighbors heard the crying and came over, and the grandmother knelt on the ground, rolling and crying.
I was still young, I didn't understand the meaning of death, stared at a pair of innocent big eyes, looked at the people in the yard with solemn faces, and hurriedly helped deal with my father's aftermath.
Uncle led people to cut down trees overnight, punched a coffin for my father, carried my father into the coffin, and my uncle hugged me, stuffed me with two mourning sticks wrapped in white paper, and let me walk in front of the coffin, and a large group of women chased the coffin and cried.
I saw that the mother who cried the most fiercely, I desperately tried to break free from the uncle's arms, wanted my mother to hug me, the uncle would not let go, and I cried with it.
When the coffin was put into the pit and some people filled the pit with earth, the uncle cried loudly, shouting "Chuangui, don't worry, I will take care of Chunsheng".
The cry echoed in the gray sky, startling a flock of waterfowl.
In the days that followed, I only remember that my mother hugged my younger brothers and sisters and cried every day, and sometimes she would run to my father's grave and sit for half a day.
When I grew up, I heard my grandfather say: my father had an accident when he hit the river dam, because the medical level was limited at that time, my father's internal organ bleeding was uncontrollable and died, my father was only 28 years old, my mother was 26, I was 6 years old, my sister was 3 years old, and my younger brother was 8 months old.
As the saying goes: the house leak was rained overnight, the boat was caught in the head wind, and at the end of the summer of that year, seeing that the crops were about to arrive, God was endlessly raining heavily, and the river kept rising.
Eventually, the flood flooded all the crops along the river, and when the waters receded, all the crops were dead and desolate.
What the croppers are most afraid of is that when the crops are not harvested, the grain is eaten, the newly sown grain has not yet returned to the warehouse, and every household is cut off.
My mother carried a basket all over the field every day to find wild vegetables, and when all the wild vegetables in the field were dug up, my mother worked during the day and went out at night to steal sweet potato vines.
In just a few months, my mother seemed to be several years older.
But life has to pass, and my mother tried to cheer up, but the hardships of life did not treat her well because of her mother's pity.
No matter how hard she tried, in that era, men worked one job a day, and women only had 0.8 jobs a day, especially the hard work of plowing the fields and plowing the land, carrying water and carrying dung, and her mother couldn't do it at all.
Grandma felt sorry for her mother, every time her mother went back to her parents' house, her grandmother cried distressedly, she persuaded her mother: Guilan, there are many things in front of the widow's door, and if there is a suitable person, marry it! You're only 27 years old, and you still have a long way to go! In case you are sick and tired, and you don't even have a port of water.
At this time, my mother cried, and my grandmother cried.
The mother told her grandmother that she couldn't forget her father, that she couldn't tolerate other men in her heart, and that she would take a few children to boil slowly.
The mother endured for two years with her three children, and the hardships of life did not defeat her, until an incident happened that made her mother decide to remarry.
In the autumn of the second year after my father's death, my mother went to other production teams to pick up sweet potatoes (after the sweet potatoes were harvested, I used a basket to pick up the missing sweet potatoes), and I was lucky that day, and I picked up a few big ones, and my mother was very happy.
At this time, the man from the production team came over, he glanced at his mother a few times, and then threatened her with malicious intentions and said: The sweet potatoes in your basket are stolen? I'm going to send you to the brigade headquarters.
The mother was frightened when she heard this, she knew that once she was sent to the brigade, she would not only have to criticize the fight, but also parade through the streets, and hurriedly knelt on the ground and swore to curse.
The man walked up to his mother, stretched out his hand and grabbed her breasts, and said, "This matter is also very easy to solve, come with me, and go to the small nunnery in front of you (a makeshift shack made of corn stalks)I will not treat you badly, and after you have served me, your mother will not starve."
After saying this, he let out a lewd laugh, motioned with his chin to his mother to follow him, and grabbed his mother's chest with his hand.
The mother cried and tore with him, and her mouth was bloodied.
The mother fled back crying, and when the grandmother knew what had happened, she cried and said: Guilan, no man is not a family, find a suitable person to marry! Leave Chunsheng to me, Changgui won't blame you.
Mother nodded tearfully.
In the following days, grandma and grandmother asked someone to introduce the object to the mother, but where is the right one! My mother is beautiful, and everyone can match her at a glance, but when I heard that I had two children, it was like hiding from the plague god.
After hitting a wall several times, my grandmother persuaded my mother to give both children to his grandmother, and you took the girl to remarry.
The mother shook her head firmly and said, "Impossible! If it weren't for my mother-in-law's obstruction, I wouldn't have left one child behind, and I could lower my requirements, but he had to agree to let me take two children.
When I was 8 years old, my mother remarried, and my stepfather was not good-looking and old, but he could do carpentry, and he promised to treat his younger siblings like his own children.
With this promise, the mother married her stepfather.
It was the early winter of '78, the weather was overcast, the sky was full of snowflakes, and the stepfather drove an ox cart to pick up the mother.
My mother was wearing a floral cotton jacket and a beautiful flower headscarf on her head, and my grandmother told me that my mother was getting married, but I couldn't see my mother being happy, she put her sister on her lap, and put her brother in her arms, and kept crying, and her eyes were swollen like light bulbs.
Grandma also cried with her!
From time to time, the stepfather looked up at the gray sky and urged: Let's go! It's going to snow this day, and there's still 10 miles to go!
I had a hunch that my mother was gone and wouldn't come back!
I tugged at my mother's shirt and cried to keep her going.
After a long time, my mother touched a handful of tears and said firmly: Chunsheng, listen to grandma, my mother will come back to see you.
She desperately broke my hand, holding my brother in one hand and my sister in the other, and stepped out of the threshold.
I wanted to chase, but I was desperately pulled by my grandmother, and I watched the man take my mother.
The mother got into the ox cart, and with the crisp sound of the whip, the clumsy ox cart took her away.
The snow was getting heavier and heavier, as if to reflect my mood at the time.
After my mother left, I lived with my grandparents, my father had three brothers, and my uncle was not married, and my uncle loved me very much, and he took me with him wherever he went.
But no matter how good they are to me, they can't replace my mother, I miss her every day, sit at the entrance of the village during the day and wait for her to come back, and hold her in my dreams at night, many times I dream that my mother pushes her away, I cry desperately, I want to keep her, every time I wake up crying, staring at the dark roof, my heart hurts with longing.
I was crazy with a group of children all day long and didn't know how to go home to sleep, and every midnight, the call of adults sounded at the entrance of the village: so-and-so, go home and sleep......
I pricked up my ears and looked for my mother's voice......
I hope to hear my mother say, "This dead child, and you're covered in mud, I won't beat you to death when I see you home......
I was even envious when I saw my playmate being naughty and beaten by my mother.
The village where my mother had remarried was 10 miles away from my house, and she came back to see me twice, and each time she brought me something delicious and a new pair of shoes.
The shoes made by my grandmother do not follow the feet, and they walk "croaking", and they are crooked after wearing them for a few days, and the soles of the shoes are hard to turn out.
Every time my mother left, I cried until I vomited, and I ran after her, and I hated her cruelty.
"Teenagers don't know the hardships of their parents, but they are also adults when they read"
It's hard for mothers! If it is not to live, who wants to be separated?
In the spring when I was 9 years old, my uncle got married, and my aunt was not good to me at all, she always pointed at me with a horizontal nose and vertical eyes, and I didn't dare to eat since she entered the door.
Grandma didn't dare to say anything, so she could only secretly wipe her tears, something delicious, secretly hid it, and carried her aunt to eat for me.
I heard that my mother's life was not bad, and my stepfather went to the village to collect business, and even went to our village to buy furniture, and the neighbors saw that my aunt was not good to me, so they all asked me to find my mother.
In the spring of that year, my mother took me to her house, and she steamed a pot of white steamed buns, which were fragrant and soft, and I ate three of them in one go.
While patting me on the back, my mother handed me a bowl of porridge and asked me to drink two sips of Shunshun, she said: This way of eating, your uncle will definitely die of laughter if he is at home.
After the mother finished speaking, she turned her head and cried, and asked in a trembling voice: Is your aunt good to you?
I had steamed buns in my mouth and said inarticulately: Mom, I want to live with you, my aunt is so fierce, as soon as I stretched out my chopsticks to pick up vegetables, she looked at me with white eyes, I didn't dare to eat vegetables, I couldn't eat enough.
My mother hugged me and cried!
The next day my grandmother went to pick me up, she was worried that I would stay for a long time and would not want to go home, I was her only grandson, and she said that she was sorry for my dead father if she didn't keep me.
My grandmother was waiting at the head of the village, and my mother sent me over, and when she left, she brought me some white steamed buns.
When I came back from my stepfather's house, I missed my mother more and more, and I missed the taste of white steamed buns even more.
When I was 9 years old, the Chinese New Year was approaching, and there was nothing at home, so my grandmother bought two catties of meat and gave it to my aunt, so that she could bring it back to her parents' house, and gave her the only few scoops of white noodles at home.
The Chinese New Year is just a few days away, and the smell of steamed buns, sweet potato sugar, and occasionally the mouth-watering aroma of meat wafts over the village.
It was snowing outside, and I sat on the path at the entrance of the village, looking in the direction my mother was walking, hoping that she would appear.
There seems to be a scene in front of my eyes, my mother is wearing a flower cotton jacket, a red headscarf, carrying a basket, the basket contains meat, sweet potato sugar, and a few big white steamed buns, and unconsciously drooling for a long time.
I swallowed, wiped my nose with my cuff again, and suddenly made up my mind to go to my mother.
From memory, I walked along the path by the river, and the wind came in through the collar, and it was cold! The shoes on the feet also leaked out of the toes, and every step made a "click, click" sound.
I don't know how long I walked, I finally arrived by memory, my mother was pulling firewood at the door, she was surprised to see me, threw away the firewood basket and ran over, grabbed my hand and said: Chunsheng, why are you here, how can your grandmother rest assured that she came alone?
I said aggrievedly: I'm waiting for you at the head of the village, if you don't go, I'll come over, grandma doesn't know.
My mother was distressed and angry, she raised her hand to hit me, but after a long time she lifted it and gently put it down.
Mother sighed softly and said: Your grandmother will die if she can't find you, I'll cook for you quickly, and you will go back when you're done.
After that, my mother turned around and went into the house and threw me a piece of sweet potato candy, which was so sweet! I held it in my mouth and was reluctant to suck it.
That day, my stepfather was not at home, and at noon my mother stewed half a bowl of meat, and distilled a few white steamed buns, I caught the meat and ate it vigorously, half a bowl of meat was eaten by me, and I ate three steamed buns, and I didn't drink a single bite of porridge.
After eating, my mother urged me to leave quickly, and before leaving, she found a rag bag, filled the remaining white steamed buns into it, and smashed a large piece of sweet potato candy for me.
Then I took a new pair of shoes from the wall and put them on for me.
My stomach was full, I walked energetically, and I didn't have to get cold, and I carried the cloth bag on my back, like a warrior returning triumphantly.
I thought, my grandmother must be very happy to see me carrying the white steamed bun home, and my aunt will probably be better to me when she sees the white steamed bun.
I walked a few miles in one go.
At this moment, I heard someone shouting from behind: Chunsheng, stop......
I turned around and saw a thin figure running towards me in the distance, the river was empty, and I recognized it as my stepfather at a glance.
I only met my stepfather once, and that was the day he took my mother away, and I recognized the skinny man who had been crushed to dust.
Suffered, did my stepfather find out that there were fewer steamed buns at home and came to trouble me, I was very scared, and my heart jumped "dong".
I wanted to hide the steamed buns, but the river was very empty, there was no grass in the season of the tenth winter wax moon, and the snow was very thin, so I couldn't bury the steamed buns at all, so I was so anxious that I turned around.
Seeing my stepfather getting closer and closer, I quickly took out the steamed buns and stuffed them into my cotton pants.
I stood motionless, afraid that if I moved, the steamed bun would fall off.
Worried about my stepfather's search, I quickly took out a steamed bun and nibbled on it with my back to my stepfather, I wanted to eat one and earn one.
But because I was too full at noon, I couldn't eat at all, so I quickly stuffed the steamed bun into my arms again.
At this time, my stepfather had already come to me, and I simply posed as a dead pig who was not afraid of boiling water.
The stepfather was panting and holding a piece of meat in his hand.
He said lovingly: Chunsheng, I went home to listen to you My mother said that as soon as you left, I started to chase, but I didn't expect you to go so fast, and you couldn't hear me when I called you.
It was windy that day, and I was so focused on rushing home that I never looked back.
I didn't answer, not sure what kind of medicine he was selling in his gourd?
My stepfather reached out and grabbed me and said, "Let's go!" I'll send you home, your mother's heart is so big! On this snowy day, a child goes out, what if he gets lost in the snow and has an accident!
As soon as I took a step, a steamed bun fell out with a "poof", I was so ashamed that my face was flushed, and my stepfather laughed and said: Take it! Uncle is not angry, you see that I sent you some meat again, go back and let your grandma make dumplings, no dumplings is not a year!
My stepfather helped me put the steamed buns in a cloth bag, he pulled me in one hand and the cloth bag in the other, his hands were calloused, and his face was also marked by the years.
Suddenly, a warm current came up, and I remembered that I had this feeling before I was 6 years old, and it was the warmth of father's love.
I grabbed his hand hard and involuntarily leaned against him.
My stepfather asked me if I was tired, and before I could speak, he squatted down and said, "Come here, Uncle is carrying you."
I spread my legs and sat obediently on his shoulder, as if I had returned to the days when my father was there, the snow was still falling, the cold wind was biting, but my heart was warmed.
I cried and snot ran down his hair.
My stepfather dropped me off at the entrance of the village, and when he saw me enter the door, he turned and walked away, and I watched his back disappear into the snow......
This scene often comes to mind, distant and clear.
The next winter, which was also the season of heavy snowfall, my grandmother passed away, and my sky fell!
My aunt had a child of her own, and the family couldn't accommodate me, so my uncle went to my mother's house and asked her to pick me up.
Before leaving, he took me to burn paper for my father, and he promised that he would treat me as his own son, and would not let me change my surname, and let my father and grandmother bless me.
I followed my stepfather, crying as I went, I didn't know what fate awaited me.
My stepfather took me back and sent me to school, I was a transfer student, and I was 10 years old at the time.
In 80 years, my stepfather fought for a piece of land for me, and I really became a member of my stepfather's family.
The stepfather carried a family on his thin shoulders and raised three unrelated children, some people laughed at him for being stupid, but the stepfather was very content.
In that kind of living conditions, supporting three children, the hardships endured by my stepfather, I can't describe in words, that kind of love is engraved in my bones, only gratitude.
Because of the backward education at that time, my sister and I didn't rely on college to go to college, but we relied on the guidance of our stepfather, and we didn't mix badly.
After graduating from junior high school, I learned carpentry from my stepfather, because I often helped my stepfather since I was a child, and I quickly mastered this skill and became a well-known carpentry master.
With the development of the times, the upgrading of styles, rural civil workers were gradually eliminated, my stepfather let me go to other places for further study, and when I came back, I opened a furniture factory, from small to large, along the way, my stepfather helped me a lot.
Now I not only have a factory, but also a few directly-operated stores, and I am also a well-known boss.
After graduating from high school, my sister caught up with the county guest house to recruit workers, so she went to work as a waiter, and met a boy from Changzhou who came to our county to do technical guidance, and the two fell in love, and later married to Changzhou and lived happily.
The younger brother was admitted to the teacher college that year, and now he is the director of the academic affairs office in the county key middle school.
My stepfather has always lived with me, he has a happy old age, and my lover is dedicated to taking care of his life.
When I was young, I often talked to her about things when I was a child, and my lover respected my stepfather very much, treated him like a biological father, took care of his life carefully, and everyone around me praised my stepfather for being blessed.
My sister is also very filial, every year my sister takes her parents to Changzhou to live for a few days, and by the way, I take them for a walk, and their clothes are bought by my sister.
My brother is usually very busy at work, and every summer vacation, my brother will take his parents out to travel, go to a city a year, and just travel albums, and have already made a few big books.
My stepfather died last year, he slept at night, and he didn't suffer a little sin when he left, but we were very distressed and blamed ourselves, and at the last moment, we didn't stay by his side.
Today on my stepfather's sacrifice day, thank you to my stepfather, although you did not give birth to us, but raised us to grow up, raising grace is greater than giving birth, we keep your kindness in our hearts in this life!
Without stepfather, there would be no our brother and sister today, thank you stepfather, may you be happy and worry-free in heaven!
Let's pull the hook, and I'll be your son in the next life!