Many people think that not having friends is a good thing.
When he opened his mouth, he said: "There are herds of cattle and sheep, and tigers and lions walk alone." ”
People who are gregarious seem to be very low-end, like cattle and sheep blindly obeying.
Is this really the case? Don't go to extremes.
In society, there is no way for people to "walk alone" 100%. Career development needs to rely on the group; We also need a decent family. It's eating and drinking, and you're sharing other people's fruits, and you don't grow rice and vegetables yourself.
Don't blindly advocate "don't have friends", learn to rely on friends, and achieve each other, is the sobriety of life.
There are a few sentences in the "Records of History" that if you can read, you will know why you have no friends.
01
"Before the feather is formed, it cannot be high; If you don't know the arts and sciences, you can't merge them": If you don't have friends, it's because you have no value.
How can a person, fledgling, fly high? You can't get into a high-level circle.
During the Warring States Period, Su Qin worshipped Guiguzi as his teacher and learned a lot of the art of war and politics.
Based on the development situation of the Qin State, he wrote a 10,000-word argumentative essay. Then he went to the Qin State to seek an official and a half-job.
King Qin was not interested in Su Qin's argumentative essay, and showed a mocking look.
Su Qin returned home from the Qin State in a gloomy manner, and sold the carriage, slaves, etc. on the way in exchange for travel expenses.
His parents looked at him like a beggar and ignored him; When his sister-in-law saw him, she didn't bother to give him food.
Later, Su Qin continued to study and analyze the overall situation of the world.
When he went to the Yan Kingdom, King Yan was warmly entertained and very interested in the "vertical and horizontal technique" he proposed.
Since then, Su Qin has had many friends in Zhao, Yan, Qi and other places. And his friends are all nobles and kings.
Friends, from a purely emotional point of view, will not covet any interests.
But any kind of emotion will not be pure. is in love, and you have to consider what the other party's family background is, and there is a potential idea of money worship. How few women are willing to marry a man who is too poor to eat?
When you have no value at all, you can't climb in other people's circles.
At the mixed dinner, you have to drink enough to support the table for others. The "amount of alcohol" is your value.
If you don't have friends, try to improve yourself instead of bowing your head to others. Never sit back and wait for "charcoal in the snow", you will be disappointed.
When you are useful, others will come close to you and cooperate with each other to add to the icing on the cake.
02
"Seeing people is not right, although it is noble and disrespectful; Seeing that people are dirty, although they are not respectful": There are no friends because you always focus on the shortcomings of others.
If you see someone with a bad heart, even if he is rich, you will not respect him; When you see someone with a stain, even if he is in a high position, you will not obey him.
Song Zhong and Jia Yi, celebrities of the Western Han Dynasty, had nothing to do, met to go shopping, and met the soothsayer Sima Jizhu.
The two celebrities ridiculed Sima Jizhu, and they knew that they were boastful.
Sima Jizhu replied: "Look at people who are good at debate, they can answer people's questions and solve doubts, and make people smart......
When the two celebrities heard this, they immediately had an epiphany that their prejudices against others were too powerful, so they exalted themselves and belittled others.
As the saying goes, "All the seas are brothers." ”
When you don't have friends, you're often pretentious, thinking that you are doing the right thing and others are doing nothing.
You still think that you have to meet someone with good moral character to be friends. But I don't know that people with good moral character also have shortcomings and even make mistakes. What's even more terrifying is that you demand excellence from others, but you don't realize that you are also a person with bad morals.
At the very least, if you look down on people who are not good enough, it means that you are "not of good character" and cannot be treated equally.
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, as well as a different inner world. If you look at the problem from the other side's perspective, you will find that other people's hardships and words and deeds are fundamental, and from your point of view, they are all "wrong".
Don't look at people with colored glasses, don't look at people through the cracks of the door. Discover the strengths of others and learn from the shining points of others, and you will naturally have friends.
People who are lower than you also have an excellent side, and they can also be friends.
03
"One death and one life is friendship; One poor and one rich is to know the state of communication; One is expensive and one is cheap, friendship is to see": There are no friends because you are not in distress or begging for help.
In the transformation of life and death, poverty, wealth and wealth, etc., people can know the warmth and coldness of human feelings.
There are many turning points in life, and turning the past is either a landscape or a tragedy.
Many people, when they see that you are about to turn a corner, will avoid it, or be in a wait-and-see state. But there are also a few people who will be close to you and help you.
Su Shi of the Northern Song Dynasty, when he was demoted, many officials avoided it, and some people fell into the ground. But Chen Jichang took the initiative to visit Su Shi and did not avoid suspicion.
Chen Jichang's officialdom was unwilling, and he lived in seclusion in Huangzhou's Qiting. Su Shi also visited many times, and drank together, leaving an allusion to the "roar of the lion in Hedong".
After Wang Anshi resigned, he lived in seclusion in Jiangning. Those who opposed Wang Anshi's change of law stayed away from him.
Su Shi took a detour to visit Wang Anshi, and played together and wrote poems.
True friends, when you are happy, are well with each other and keep their distance; When you are in trouble, take the initiative to approach.
There are always some people who usually have little interaction with you, but when it is critical, they will appear. Maybe I haven't been in touch for years, but it's very generous to help.
Of course, if you are too thin-skinned to speak out about your difficulties, you will naturally get less help. Friends don't watch over you all the time, and they don't have roundworms in your belly.
You generously talk about your difficulties and show your happiness. Someone helps you, someone shares, and that's how you feel a friend.
04
A philosopher once said, "In misfortune, it is necessary to seek friends; In luck, the search for friends is noble. ”
In any state, people must have a few friends, not live alone.
Friends don't care about quantity, but quality is better, and they are sincere.
Friends don't care about eternity, but accompany you on a journey and across a bridge.
Friends don't care about distance or proximity, but when they are on the edge of the sky, they can still connect.
Friends don't care about levels, but establish equal thinking and be humble.
Don't complain that you don't have friends, actively change yourself, help others, and life will not be deserted.
If you don't stretch out your hand, others will reach out and wait for you, what's the use?
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.