#评论区表情包##挑战30天在头条写日记##头条创作挑战赛#
Sunny
Edited by Du Shi Niang
On the second day of the Lunar New Year in 2019, I moved back to Boston with my son after a 16-year absence. A few days later, he was born and raised in Shanghai and became an American public school student.
In the Spring Festival of 2022, I decided to write a little bit about my feelings three years after I re-landed in the United States (my two cents when I returned to the United States after 16 years).
That article became my first 100,000 plus.
I thought I should summarize it every year, but last year I didn't feel much urge to write, so I was lazy until today.
At this moment, I am snuggled up on the sofa in the observation bar of Icon of the Seas, the largest cruise ship in the world, and I want to talk to my readers about some of my new ideas over the past two years. (Some domestic readers asked why "two cents" before?) Actually, it's a slang term in English: my two cents means a little "little idea")
I hope that I will continue to write about this series, every two years or every few years, and look back to see how I, as a Chinese immigrant to the United States, really see this country and face my choices.
Whether you want to come to the United States or not, you decide
Unlike before, when I always liked to encourage people to come to the United States, I am less and less prone to rash action. Because I've found that a lot of people aren't ready.
So what kind of people should come to the United States?
First of all, you can have at least one of these two points, preferably both: you have money, and you have good English. It's impossible to really measure how much money you have or how good your English is, but at least you can have basic living security and the ability to communicate in the language.
Second, you need to be able to put down your body and face your choices. If you have enough money so you don't have to go out to work, that's for the best. But the vast majority of people may come here and need to find another job or even a few jobs that they would not otherwise disdain (such as supermarket cashiers) to support their families. This is actually quite a test.
I also once analyzed with a friend I knew how to sell a set of large flats in Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou to "lie flat" in the United States. For example, if your house is sold for 20 million yuan, and then the money can legally enter the United States and do not need to pay taxes, you can take out part of it to buy a house for yourself to live in, and invest the rest. In addition to stable income such as CDs and Treasuries, you can also buy some Nasdaq funds and even US stocks (if you are optimistic about the US economy).
Of course, you can also buy a house and invest, like all Chinese. But keep in mind that American houses are only lived in (rented) and not speculated. It is a fantasy to imagine that there will be several times or even more than ten times the increase (generally the normal is to increase by 7% and outperform inflation).
The rent-to-sale ratio in the United States is relatively high, so you can also buy a house to rent in a suitable place to support your house. (If you are interested in knowing, you can send me a private message, and I will write another article if there are many people). There are two pitfalls to avoid here: one is not to buy cheaply in less than good areas, where tenants are a problem. Most states in the U.S. can't just evict tenants, so it's important to do a background check; Second, don't rent to people who don't have financial guarantees for small profits (American landlords make up their own brains). Finally, renting to the poor subsidized by the government is a good option (the U.S. government will pay for low-income people to rent a house, which is a normal house but most of the rent is paid by the government, so it must be guaranteed). Don't be prejudiced against the poor.
Once the basic survival is solved, you will find that whether you can truly enjoy life here has a lot to do with your values and language skills.
If you don't speak English well, it's likely that you never read the mainstream media here, and all your information comes from Simplified Chinese channels, not that it's completely bad, but ......
Sometimes it's hard to talk to people about some things, so my colleagues and I started a column in "Du Shi Niang" called "Criticizing the United States from the Perspective of the United States".
Anyone who understands understands.
America is not "free"
When many people are asked, "Why are you coming to the United States?" it is always easy to say two words, freedom. But in fact, many people who come to the United States rashly understand what "freedom" really is.
In my opinion, freedom requires three conditions: a healthy body, a certain economic foundation, and the ability to constantly learn and grow your knowledge. In the United States, in simple terms, "freedom" should be something that allows you to choose what not to do rather than do what you want. Because there are some red lines that you don't even know when you step on them, and it's very dangerous.
Recently, many ridiculous "accidents" have happened overseas, such as Singapore's "You Guess" woman (what makes "You Guess" female Internet celebrity toast into a penalty for drinking?). ), the "Don't touch her" man of the London Underground (What did Old K in London teach us?) And so on.
Even the former Y TV interview anchor who claims to be a senior media person, after he became a YouTube blogger in Japan, caused an uproar because of his "inappropriate" words and deeds to people with disabilities on Treasure Island some time ago, in fact, it is the same virtue: misunderstanding the meaning of freedom.
Of course, the United States has plenty of freedom: for example, you can go online and register a company or even a non-profit organization in a matter of minutes; You can also march and strike without reporting or change from male to female; You can also smoke marijuana and own a gun...... But these are also conditional. Otherwise, even if you are the president, you will still be prosecuted if you are agitating the people to attack the Congress for violating the Constitution. But the strange thing is that even if you go to jail, you can still run for president.
In short, there is a bottom line that you must remember that the foundation of the United States is that "all men are created equal." You have to be careful of everything that violates this article.
"Discrimination" may be a survival instinct in jungle societies, but it can be a felony in civilized societies.
For example, you can scold the president, but if you make inappropriate remarks about vulnerable people, you can go to jail. Recently, the two female principals of the Ivy League schools have been forced to resign, largely due to their words and deeds. Of course, this matter is more complicated, and I am not qualified to take sides, and maybe when I stay in the United States for a dozen or twenty years, my opinion will be clearer.
In short, the United States is not the place where you think you can say anything.
For example, it is very common for children to play "good guys and bad guys" in China, and it is very common for them to compare their hands with guns, and no one will take it in serious. But yes, if you do this to your classmates in an American elementary school, your parents may have to go to the principal's office.
The daughter of a friend of mine is a kind-hearted and thoughtful high school student. In one of her essays, she sympathized with the shooter in the school shooting, saying that he wanted revenge because he had been bullied for a long time. As a person who once thought the same way, I understand him very well.
Outcome...... It's sad.
So if you want to take your children to immigrate or just study abroad, please be sure to take good care of your children, parents have gone to great lengths to send them here not to let them do whatever they want.
What they thought was "freedom" did not exist. There are even more restrictions in the U.S. (e.g., 21-year-olds for drinking, zero tolerance for bullying in schools, etc.). ）。 A country that relies on the church and the law as an instrument of sustainable development will never allow anyone to override the law under any pretext.
As long as you feel "equal" enough spiritually, everything else is a floating cloud. If you look at the wandering doctor who graduated from Fudan and studied in the United States, you will know that money is not the criterion for judging dignity, at least not the only one.
What you think of as "left and right" is not really like that
At present, many so-called "elite intellectuals" in China are very fond of talking about the so-called "white left." All day long, he calls people "white left" and what he wants.
Although as a non-partisan supporter, I also have some doubts and puzzles about some of the excesses of the left wing of the Democratic Party. But I don't think we, as minorities, should at least look at these policies or proposals with ridicule. Because without the efforts of these people, you and I would not be able to sit here today and enjoy breathing freely.
The reason why the United States is a great country is because the voice is noisy but not chaotic. Everyone can have their own opinion, and even the most wonderful ones will be supported (e.g. border walls, e.g., disinfectant water for coronavirus). Because there are too many voices, you are required to have enough independent thinking skills.
Fundamentally, the public power and private domain protections granted to people by the Constitution are incomprehensible to those of us who grew up in a country with "one voice".
For example, Wu Jing asks you to save your life with your passport, and Americans will think, do you need to make a movie to explain it? Isn't that what civics lessons are all about? Didn't Mi Guo just let me scold and still need to protect me? So a lot of the perceptions I started to change in my son's remarks.
"Du Shi Niang" has recently started to work on the "Great Second Generation of Chinese", and I hope that through our efforts, more readers in the Chinese world can understand that Chinese children stand out in this new land.
Their parents have traveled across the ocean and worked hard, and most of them have given up their hobbies and enjoyments. There are many people around me who have changed their research direction in order to find a job and stay, or even have to give up their already successful field of study to become a code farmer, accountant, insurance broker, real estate agent, or even a restaurant owner, dentist, immigration lawyer, etc.
As long as it can take root and sprout, the greatest tenacity of the Han nation is to sacrifice itself in exchange for the next generation or even the next few generations to "get ahead".
With the emergence of politicians like Andrew Yang and Wu Mi, and with the emergence of Silicon Valley bigwigs like Jensen Huang, the stereotype of Chinese Americans in American society will be increasingly broken. As the American national anthem goes, this is the home of the brave of the land of the free. Generations of Chinese Americans promote each other in this land, and one day, no one will ask you inexplicably, where are you from? (Attention!) Don't just ask this sentence in the United States, it may be racist).
I particularly like Eileen Gu's self-confidence (albeit a little cunning): I am American in the United States, and I am Chinese in China. (If you don't like it, don't spray). Our children will live in a world of rapid change, a world that breaks down walls of what is seen and what is not. The widespread use of AI technology will also change many of our traditional choices. Therefore, it is up to every parent who chooses to immigrate to better establish the self-definition of "I am an American, or that I am a Chinese American." Otherwise, not only will you suffer, but your child will suffer even more.
The only thing our generation can do is to try to avoid the deterioration of Sino-US relations. To become a bridge between Chinese and Western cultures and values.
Hannah, a beautiful dog, let me learn how to "fit in"
Hannah is a beautiful puppy. This is my video number recording our baby and our dog getting along day and night.
Because of Hannah, our lives are becoming more and more "American." A lot of my interactions with my neighbors are because of Hannah. In the United States, children and dogs are pampered family members and mediums of communication for adults.
So sometimes someone will leave a comment under some of my comments saying that you are a beautiful dog. I really can't laugh enough. You know, the happiness of a beautiful dog is really unattainable for you.
Our family, Hannah, turns two years old today, has spent more than $10,000 since she came to my house. For example, at this moment we are on vacation on a cruise ship, and Hannah is being picked up by her grandparents (her dog's father's owner) to take her home to Winter camp.
Let me sprinkle a little wild in this snow
The daily nursing fee plus the cost of round-trip transportation has passed for more than a week. But watching Hannah have fun with his parents, siblings, and siblings every day, we are happy to be fulfilled.
Two days ago, I took my baby out to buy groceries and came home, and I saw Hannah, who was alone at home, bleeding from his feet and hurting when he touched it, so I didn't have time to make an appointment with the veterinarian and sent the ER directly. Unlike human medical treatment, dogs have to pay for medical treatment first - 1,600 dollars! I swiped the card without blinking an eyelid. As a result, there was nothing, and the anesthetic shaved for X-rays...... After a circle, the final settlement was more than 1,500 dollars. Although I bought insurance for my dog, because I needed to pay the annual deductible first, I was only reimbursed more than 200 yuan in the end, which means that I earned back the insurance premium for this year.
But in interesting contrast to dogs, I was bitten by someone else's dog two months ago, went to urgent care, and the bill came more than a month later, I thought I would get at least 180 yuan, but it turned out to be only 14 dollars. My insurance covers most of the costs. There is no comparison and no harm, I am really not as "precious" as our dog.
So in the future, when people see your IP in the United States, they will call you "beautiful dog", and you can laugh at it. Because cognition limits his/her imagination.
Don't worry, I don't want to persuade you to come to the United States
In recent years, the fragmentation of the WeChat world has intensified. Our circle of friends is shrinking and shrinking. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm a very simple person, and every time I express my opinions, I understand that there are people I may be losing. Except for a few friends who don't want to lose so much, the vast majority of people just laugh and laugh: who cares.
Over half a hundred years old, in addition to life perception and knowledge accumulation, everything else needs to be subtracted. Including friends and even loved ones. Many people feel like they want to "integrate" into the U.S. before or just after they immigrate. Later, I found it difficult to give up completely.
In fact, I told myself from the beginning that if you regard yourself as the "master" of this land, you will not be so entangled: the premise of "integration" is to understand and understand the rules of the game, customs and even lifestyle, and then decide to be more suitable and comfortable for yourself. Regardless of the culture, there is something to learn and abandon. The world is changing, and so will we.
I can't say who is necessarily suitable to come to the United States, but there is one kind of person who is definitely not suitable for coming to the United States, and that is to be a good person. In a country where the president's power is in a cage, if you want to continue to be above others, it will not work, and you will definitely hit a wall.
And no matter how big an official you are, the values in this environment determine that no one will really pee on you, or that sentence, who cares. You can only win respect if you are born as a human being and speak human words when you do things.
Over the years, because of my son, I have been in contact with teachers in the United States the most. I can say that I can write a book about how to communicate with Americans (although my communication is limited, but it also represents the universal value system of the American middle class). So every time I see the "righteous words" of those foot cloths, I feel ridiculous and anxious. Where is this communication, it is clearly ......
It's a pity that there are quite a few people who eat this set. I feel that I am "strong" and can be "justified" like this. But in fact, in a country that regards "caring for the disadvantaged" as the standard of civilization, the more power there is, the more gentle the language is needed. Calm Voice is our primary school goal. The reason why the strong become strong is because they care for more weak people with their own strength, and become equal human beings like themselves.
Live like a real American
Writing this subheading, I was actually a little apprehensive. I want to explain that the "Americans" I want to express here do not refer specifically to white people. They just came a little earlier than the rest of the people. Except for the Indians, who are called native Americans, the others are immigrants. So the definition of "American" is actually the people who come to this land in pursuit of a better life and bigger dreams.
Back more than 200 years ago, they were all passers-by. Therefore, the so-called American culture is based on a Christian culture, which integrates the mutual cultural penetration of various ethnic groups. Of course, this also includes Chinese civilization (China Town is actually a model, but unfortunately for so many years it still gives people the impression of "dirty and messy but delicious food")
This time, along the way, I met several white people who spoke Chinese to me. The manager of the restaurant also came to our table every day and asked: Is it delicious? Satisfied or dissatisfied? It's really not a cover that the whole world is learning Chinese. Our children's school can choose Chinese as a second foreign language.
Icon of The seas是目前全世界最大的邮轮，此次则是她的第四个航程。
Compared to every other cruise ship, there are many and noisy Chinese families, and there are not many Asian faces this time. (But it's interesting that almost every family speaks Chinese to their children), and they no longer feel like they sometimes feel embarrassed and out of place.
Some people like to use the word "high-tech" to satirize those who have blended well with the mainstream culture overseas. Not necessarily. Only when more and more people of Chinese descent walk to the high level of civilization can there be hope for the Han nation, right?
Interestingly, you used to see Chinese people on cruise ships either yelling and shouting to take a seat, or carrying food on large plates. In the past, I was very annoyed to meet these people head-on, but this time I found that when we communicate casually in Chinese, someone will be cold and greet you in Chinese. (Yesterday, I heard an old couple next to me talk about Shanghai, and I almost couldn't help but want to go up and talk to a few words).
In the past, Chinese people went straight to the cafeteria as soon as they got on the cruise, and they felt that they couldn't be born without eating back the cost. Not only did I not see this situation this time, but I even met a Chinese face when I went to the gym in the morning, and then she asked: Are you Chinese? Then we had a happy conversation......
From grabbing food, to spending time working out; From watching theater shows to going to small theaters to watch adult comedy; From playing mahjong to participating in auctions; Even doing some charity on cruise ships, more and more Chinese have unconsciously "integrated" into the mainstream culture.
In fact, the civilization of the world is a universal value, no matter what kind of cultural background and language you have, you will always slowly distinguish between good and bad. As new immigrants, we are constantly embracing the values of the mainstream society and exporting our own culture to the mainstream society.
In her sixth year back in the United States, she has changed from a primary school student to a middle school student. I am grateful to the public school education in the United States, so that a "problem child" who was jointly "kicked out" by domestic parents has become more and more independent, sensible, and confident under the meticulous care of American special education teachers. Above all, my heart is full of curiosity and love.
I often laugh at myself as a "scumbag" mother, anyway, from China to the United States, "life-threatening serial calls" almost fill my daily life. Now he can explore by himself on a huge cruise ship, which is very gratifying as an old mother.
Each child has a different starting point and a different flashpoint. Perhaps only in a place like the United States, which is extremely rich in material resources and surrounded by goodwill, can a child like him have the opportunity to become his true self. Listening to Musk's autobiography every night, he fell asleep, and gradually adhered to the Asperger as an ability rather than a disability, able to face himself without self-pity, thanks to every teacher who has experienced him, and every one of them makes my nose and eyes hot when I think of it.
I used to be so scared that he would be an "American child," but when I see him proudly identifying himself as Asian American today, all I can say is that at that time, cognition limited my imagination.
I hope that when he becomes an adult, he will be able to live like a real American: love life, keep exercising, and eat a healthy diet; There is a deep compassion and love for others; There is curiosity and innocence that will never go away; There is unlimited creativity and imagination; full of security and confidence in tomorrow; Have a critical spirit of doing things and not people; Do not distinguish others by money, skin color, education, age, gender, etc.; Always maintain inexplicable self-confidence and respect for others; Always admit that you are an ordinary person, and everyone is just an ordinary person; Always know how to be calm and communicative; Always have the ability to believe............
(Excerpted from the WeChat public account Du Shi Niang)