Some time ago, the TV series "If Running is a Life" has repeatedly rushed to the hot search.
Among them, the most concerned is Anxin played by Zhong Chuxi.
An Xin was originally a beautiful dance teacher, and she fell in love with her husband Qin Feng, and they were a model couple in the eyes of everyone.
But this marriage dissolved after eight years of love.
The reason was a car accident.
On her mother's 60th birthday, she collided with a large truck while driving, and in order to save her life, her legs were amputated, and she has been living in a wheelchair ever since.
At the beginning, Qin Feng would also take care of his disabled wife.
But gradually, he didn't want to be close to Anxin.
He refused to share a bed with his wife, disgusted by the smell of his wife's stump and even felt nauseous and vomiting when he saw pus and blood seeping from the wound.
Qin Feng's disgust was relieved in his eyes and hurt in his heart.
Despite the severe pain of the wound, she practiced walking hard, hoping to return to the former sweetness with her husband.
didn't know that her husband had an affair with his boss behind his back.
After learning the truth, An Xin and Qin Feng completely broke up, and their marriage came to an end.
No matter how much a husband and wife have loved each other for many years, it is difficult to resist the impermanence of the world and the fickleness of people's hearts.
In reality, how many marriages have become precarious in the consumption of firewood, rice, oil and salt.
Screenwriter Wang Haiyu once said:
"The most difficult company in the world to run is family, and the most difficult relationship is husband and wife."
Between husband and wife, if there are 4 signs, they are not far from parting ways.
There is a question on the Internet:
"At what moment did you suddenly want to divorce calmly?"
Gao Zan replied, poking at the pain points of countless people:
When the toilet seat that was freshly brushed in the morning had a few more drops of yellow urine stains on it;
When the laundry is never in the dirty basket and the house is all over the house;
When the ground that has just been mopped is unscrupulous, it leaves a series of footprints;
When the child cries forever, the phrase "find a mother to hug";
When you don't want to talk anymore, knowing that he won't change......
I think about the divorce, no love, no hate, I just want to leave.
It is said that the details determine the temperature of the home.
When trivial matters pile up into unbearable discord, the relationship is not far from falling apart.
I read a netizen's message.
She came up with the idea of divorce because of a trivial matter of washing dishes.
After dinner that day, she wanted to bathe her daughter, so she asked her husband to clean up the dishes and chopsticks and wipe the table.
But until she put her daughter to sleep, her husband was still lying on the sofa, leisurely watching TV.
When he saw his wife coming, the husband said:
"Don't worry, I'll wash the dishes."
But two and a half hours passed, and the husband was still slumped on the couch, as if he had forgotten what he had promised his wife.
Before going to bed, the wife reminds her husband to remember to wash the dishes.
But the husband laughed and said:
"I'm too sleepy tonight, I won't go to work tomorrow, I'll wash when I get up tomorrow morning."
The next morning, the dishes and chopsticks were still on the table.
The wife could only use a small milk pot to make a simple breakfast for her daughter, and then packed up her things and prepared to take her daughter downstairs to play.
Looking at her husband who was still asleep, the wife comforted herself: When he wakes up, he should wash the dishes.
Unexpectedly, it was half past ten when I came back, and my husband had just gotten up.
Wife and children urged hard:
"You go wash the dishes first, I'm going to get ready to cook."
The husband used the excuse of going to the toilet and stayed in the bathroom for half an hour.
What's even more infuriating is that after he came out of the bathroom, he actually went out under the pretext that he was in a hurry.
Seeing a pile of greasy dishes on the table, the wife suddenly felt that her patience with her husband had been exhausted.
The family is not the painstaking management of one person, but the joint maintenance of two people.
When I say something 800 times, you still go your own way;
When I was mad with your bad habits, you always didn't care.
I can't live this day.
There is a limit to human patience.
Every seemingly sudden outburst is backed by the resentment that accumulates day after day.
No one can always turn a blind eye to contradictions, and no one can always tolerate their partners.
When one of the parties in the marriage is completely dead, that is when they leave.
I watched a video where the couple was eating at home, and the husband kept his head down and playing with his phone.
The wife complained dissatisfiedly:
"We can't talk to me if we don't see each other for a day?"
The husband absentmindedly took a chopstick dish and muttered:
"You say, I'll listen."
Then I continued to watch the short video.
The room was gradually covered by video sound, and through the screen, you could feel the grievances and helplessness of your wife.
When the desire to communicate between partners is lost, it is the beginning of emotional estrangement.
According to a survey by China Youth Daily:
Nearly eighty percent of the respondents have varying degrees of "after-work silence", and they are silent when they return home.
There are also surveys in the UK that have found that:
25% of couples spend less than 10 minutes a day communicating; 67% even admit that they prefer to surf the web rather than eat and chat with their partner.
In the fast-paced moment, how much desire to share is snuffed out in the noise of short videos and the sound of keyboard tapping;
And how many feelings, in the silence day after day, lost to countless "um" and "oh".
reminds me of a screenshot of a chat that was very popular some time ago.
A couple who have been married for 11 years, and the only thing left in the daily chat is such routine as "picking up the courier" and "eating noodles".
There is no sharing of joys, sorrows, and sorrows, and there is no open heart to confide, it is as plain as boiled water, so tasteless.
There are many netizens in the comment area who empathize with this:
"Except for talking about children, my husband and I don't have a common topic at all."
"I talk to my dog more than I talk to my husband."
"We haven't quarreled for more than ten years, not because of love, but because our thoughts are not on the same level, and we can't even quarrel together."
It is said that communication is the foundation of enhancing feelings.
Couples who have no desire to communicate have lost interest and enthusiasm for each other, so how can they understand and care for each other?
Zhang Yijun, a doctor of psychology, once said that the greater threat in marriage than cheating is the lack of ability to get along.
No matter how close the partner is, if there is no common topic, the passion will eventually fade;
No matter how good a couple is, they often don't speculate, and they will get tired of each other after a long time.
In the long years after marriage, if there is no one to talk to you, love will eventually be bleak and annihilated in the fragments of life.
In the hit drama "Echo", Ran Dongdong and Mu Dafu divorced, which made countless people uneasy.
The two have been married for more than ten years, the husband and wife are affectionate, the children are sensible, and the original life is very happy.
But all this changed drastically after Ran Dongdong took over the "Dakeng Case" that caused a sensation in the city.
The huge pressure of handling the case made Ran Dongdong extremely sensitive.
After discovering Muduff's hotel opening records, she did not listen to her husband's explanation, insisting that he had an improper relationship outside.
In order to "confirm" her conjecture, Ran Dongdong began to interrogate her husband with interrogation techniques anytime and anywhere, hoping to find out the so-called "truth".
Seeing that Mu Duff didn't hit the plan, she circled the photo of him and his female colleague separately and deliberately put it on the desk to test his reaction.
Ran Dongdong's step-by-step pressure made Mu Dafu almost suffocate in his marriage.
He explained in every possible way, but his wife regarded him as a quibble;
He collapsed in despair, but his wife thought that there was a ghost in his heart.
After several cold wars, Mudaf angrily said to his wife:
"What you are pursuing is actually just the reality that matches your prediction, and it is not the so-called truth at all!"
In a rift that was difficult to bridge, the couple finally chose to divorce.
In many cases, it is not misery and poverty that ruins a marriage, but a lack of trust.
is obviously a common sentence, but it needs to be over-interpreted;
It's obviously an ordinary behavior, but it's suspicious.
Feelings slide into the abyss in mutual suspicion and suspicion.
Reminds me of a video I recently swiped.
Cai Lei, former vice president of JD.com, said in an interview:
"My wife knows all my bank card passwords, and she can take them if she wants.
It's like that between people, if you treat others wholeheartedly, others will treat you wholeheartedly. ”
Many people envy Cai Lei for having a good wife who can accompany her husband when he is terminally ill.
In fact, the accumulated trust has long been built into an indestructible moat in the marriage of two people.
When people reach middle age, their feelings will eventually return from enthusiasm to dullness.
But the sense of trust is the bond that connects husband and wife, so that two people always hold each other's hands, face difficulties when encountering wind and waves, and be at peace after the rain and sunny weather.
In a happy marriage, a sense of trust that goes both ways is never indispensable.
Otherwise, feelings are like castles made of sand, which can easily collapse at the slightest disturbance.
There is a sentence in "Intimacy":
"In marriage, when a person bears all or most of it, his happiness is negative;
Marital happiness is positive only when couples work together. ”
In marriage, no one wants to shave their head and pay hot, and no one can bear to be ignored by their partner for their hard work.
When the balance of payment is seriously unbalanced, it is the time when the marriage is dying.
Do you still remember Wang Sleepy and Zhang Shuo in "Goodbye Lover"?
has been in love for ten years, and sleeping is good for Zhang Shuo.
She will take half a month's salary to buy Zhang Shuo's guitar that he misses; I will also spend a lot of thought to make a memory account that is exclusive to two people.
Even when Zhang Shuo's buttocks were operated on, she personally scrubbed and cared for him, never feeling dirty.
But what about Zhang Shuo?
During the hospitalization, he was either playing games on the side, or drinking and eating with friends, and he asked him to help insert a straw for milk tea, and he was also extremely impatient.
When recording the show, Wang Sleepy had a fever due to altitude sickness, and Zhang Shuo not only did not take care of him, but went back to the car to sleep.
When his wife recovered from her illness, he smiled and took a few lamb skewers to visit, and was puzzled by the anger of sleep:
"I already care about you, why aren't you satisfied?"
Through the screen, you can feel the suffocation of Wang Sleep.
Marriage is never something that can be maintained by one-sided giving.
The inaction of either party may become the fuse that ignites the conflict and leads the marriage to separation.
At the end of the show, Wang Mianmian left Zhang Shuo without hesitation.
On the card left for Zhang Shuo, she wrote:
"If it's too slow, I won't wait for you."
In the relationship, blindly taking and consuming, sooner or later will force the other half away.
So, if you want to be with the person next to you for life, don't just sit back and enjoy it, and consume their patience.
By putting care into practical action, feelings can be rejuvenated day and night.
I like a sentence in "The Good Wife":
The greatest charm of marriage is actually to explore how deep the connection between two people who are not related by blood can be.
Marriage is not a one-and-done union, but a day-to-day accumulation of trust, communication collision and habit running-in.
In the process, it is inevitable to encounter wind and waves and hit the reef.
Some people are powerless to change the status quo and leave disappointed; But there are also couples who actively revise and revitalize their marriages.
The key is whether the two people can communicate and review in a timely manner, so that the family can move in a better direction.
If we can reflect and correct it in time, there is still room for redemption in the marriage;
If one party always refuses to reflect and shirk responsibility, the other party must also have the courage to step out so as not to fall deeper and deeper into the quagmire.
In this long life, managing a marriage is not the end, but managing oneself well is an eternal topic.