We often see the phenomenon that the fathers worked diligently to build the family, but when it comes to the children's generation, it is completely lost.
Many parents lamented that they tried their best to send their children to school and leave a house and a car, but their children were not as good as themselves.
As Mencius said, "The home will destroy itself, and future generations will destroy it." ”
For a family to prosper, it is not the efforts of the parents, but the children work harder than the parents, and the offspring are better than the previous generation.
If your family has the following signs in your children, you should pay attention to it, this is the beginning of a loser.
01
The rules are broken, and the family style collapses.
As the saying goes, "The family has its own rules, and the state has its own laws." ”
To run a family, you need a lot of rules, and you can't go against the rules of society.
Rules are the measure of words and deeds, and they also regulate our lives. Doing things within the rules, the speed of success is slower, but it can be steady.
Once the rules are corrupted, more benefits can be obtained for the time being, but in time, the benefits will disappear.
"A thousand miles of embankment, destroyed in an anthill", a little bit of rules are broken every day, and when a certain time comes, it is not surprising that it will collapse.
In ancient times, Zhengbai Canal was an important agricultural facility, capable of irrigating tens of thousands of acres of fertile land.
The poem says: "And irrigation and dung, grow my corn." Food and clothing, the mouth of billions. ”
During the Tang Gaozong period, the canal could only irrigate more than 10,000 acres of fertile land.
Local officials reported: "A lot of people are building mills next to the canal for their own money, which leads to insufficient water flow. ”
Gojong ordered the demolition of all mills. But after a while, the mill was established again. There are only 6,000 acres of fertile land that can be irrigated by the canal.
The reason for this is that many mills were built by relatives of the emperor, and later, the daughters of the Tang Dynasty built mills privately.
The royal people took the lead in breaking the rules, so it is not surprising that other local tyrants followed suit.
From the management of a channel, it can be seen that the Tang Dynasty gradually went into decline.
Warren Buffett, an expert in economics, once said, "Outside the rules, follow the guidance of examples." ”
If the family wants to continue to prosper, in addition to keeping the rules of the moment, in things that have no rules and standards, we must take the example as the standard and consciously do it.
When children take breaking the rules for granted, their selfishness is very heavy and they have no sense of collectivity.
To break the rules of filial piety is to renounce the act of filial piety; Breaking the rules of distribution is to gain private property; If you break the rules of reading, you may become a scumbag; Break the rules of cultivation and there will be no harvest......
02
The brother and sister are at odds, and the family business is scattered.
From ancient times to the present, the harmony of brothers and sisters is a part of filial piety, and it is also the joint force of the development of the family business.
Zeng Guofan, a minister in the late Qing Dynasty, said to his family: "Brother He, although the poor and small households will prosper; The brothers are not in harmony, although the family eunuchs will be defeated. ”
In addition, he and several brothers started a business together, helped each other, and made the family business surpass that of his father.
And the brothers Yuan Shao and Yuan Shu in the late Eastern Han Dynasty were different, his family business was very large, but they competed with each other, which led to Cao Cao's opportunity.
As a son-in-law, Yuan Shu was very jealous of Yuan Shao's fame and prestige.
In order to resist Yuan Shao's development, Yuan Shu preferred to befriend Gongsun Zhan, resulting in the family business flowing into the hands of outsiders.
Cao Cao worked hard for many years and gained a firm foothold in the Central Plains, but his son Cao Zhi and Cao Pi fell out.
Cao Zhi sighed: "It is born from the same root, so why be too anxious to fry each other." ”
In the end, Cao Cao's family business fell into the Sima family, and the discord with the family should have a lot to do with it.
From the analysis of real life, we will find that there are three kinds of evil consequences brought about by brotherly discord.
First, the brothers are noisy and noisy, and there is a gap in the relationship, so outsiders have a chance to take advantage of it.
Second, after the family business is forced to separate, the brothers and sisters each take a share, so the family business is weakened. Not all of us have the ability to run a business. It is very likely that part of the family business cannot be maintained.
Third, when siblings have infighting, they will consume each other. Even if outsiders do not intervene, they may also neglect each other, causing the family business to stagnate and eventually fall apart.
From the parents' point of view, the palms and backs of the hands are all meat, how can they bear to see the palms and backs of the hands hurting each other? Whichever part hurts, it's all painful.
03
greedy for pleasure, and the wealth of the family is ruined.
Extravagance has been a way of life that people have opposed since ancient times.
However, in many families, parents are willing to spend money on their children and respond to their needs.
Parents dote on their children, causing their children to spend money without fear and without scale.
It is also possible that the children feel the false joy of extravagance and are out of control.
During the reign of Tang Yizong, he built Buddhist temples, built Buddha statues, and gave countless money.
He said to the ministers, "If I can see the Buddha's bones alive, even if I die, I have nothing to regret." ”
Soon, the upward and downward effects were up, and the wealthy families also began to hold pujas, at great expense.
Tang Yizong's beloved daughter, Princess Tongchang, passed away and held an extremely luxurious funeral. There are many funeral goods, the ceremony is very huge, and the funeral procession has reached more than 20 miles.
After the sacrificial articles were burned, there was a lot of broken gold, and the people looked for gold in the ashes.
There is no doubt that Tang Yizong's behavior led to the gradual decline of the imperial court.
In the "New Tang Dynasty Book", it is said: "Yi and Xi were the beginning and fall of the Tang Dynasty. ”
The mountains of gold and silver are not inexhaustible. Once they meet extravagant children, parents leave hundreds of millions of family fortunes, and they cannot guarantee the happiness of their children for a lifetime.
"Filial Piety House Motto" said: "The two words of the deceased family are prostitution and cheapness, and the words of the loser are violent and fierce." ”
Whether it is extravagance in life, or indiscriminate socialization, atrocities, etc., it must be implemented in "spending money". Moreover, extravagant people are unwilling to work, resulting in no income for the family, only paying.
Think about it, the imperial court can be hollowed out, let alone ordinary families?
04
The ancients gave us a piece of advice: "No one sees the cause and effect of Mo Dao, and the children and grandchildren are far away." ”
Children are inseparable from their parents. It's a two-generation interaction that has gone wrong. Parents need to control it in time, don't wait until you are very old, and then beat your chest.
How to stop the signs of a child's failure? Parents are advised to do four things.
The first is to prevent the slightest slight, usually observe the words and deeds of the children, once there are signs of failure, immediately educate and discipline, don't let it go.
Second, the older generation should take the lead in setting an example, and the older generation should standardize their words and deeds and set a good example.
The third is that the rules are implemented in place, and don't treat the rules as ordinary things that are just talked.
The fourth is to improve skills, so that children have the ability to make money to support their families, know the hardships of life, and cannot sit back and enjoy the fruits at home.
From the birth of a child, it is necessary to plan a century-long plan, and never only care about the happiness in front of you.
When parents plant good seeds, their children will go more and more smoothly.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.