Text/Xia Mo
01, frontispiece
Parents are like a big tree, in order to make their children's life better, they always try their best to shelter them from the wind and rain.
The seeds of this world are buried under the soil, and not every seed can take root, sprout, blossom and bear fruit.
Just as some children do not be filial to their parents. When their parents grow old, they are still like parasites, clinging to their parents.
Children who have the following habits are here to "ask for debts", and no matter how much their parents have saved, do not indulge them.
02. Children who have no fighting spirit and no goal in life
In my hometown, there is a young man in his thirties.
The children in the village, after finishing school, all go out to work to earn as much money as possible and make the life of the family a little better. Only he graduated from a prestigious university, but he still gets by at home.
He used to look for a job, but each job didn't last long, and perhaps because of frustration, he never went out again.
People in their thirties live at home on a few acres of farmland from their parents every day.
His parents were very helpless and used all their energy. After sending him to college, I never thought that he was a person with no fighting spirit and no purpose in life.
Now, I can only sigh and raise him.
Victor Hugo said, "We are not born to hold chains, but to spread our wings." ”
If the child has no fighting spirit and no purpose in life, as a parent, you should stop pampering him excessively, but let him learn to be independent.
The over-pampering of his parents may become a protective umbrella for him, but in the future, he will still have to learn to walk on his own feet.
If you don't know how to be independent, then it will be difficult for you to live your own life in the future.
03. Spend money lavishly and have no planning
In the TV series "It's All Good", Su Mingcheng is a person who spends money lavishly.
Even after he got married, he didn't plan his money well.
Whenever I don't have money to spend, I say some fancy words in front of my mother to get some financial support from her.
After his mother's death, he was so ambitious and eager to make more money, but he took a detour. His wife, because he had high hands and low eyes, and did not have any plans for the future, eventually divorced him.
People who spend money lavishly do not understand the hard work of making money, nor are they willing to make money in a down-to-earth manner, and they are not willing to calm down and live a good life.
As a parent, don't give your children too much financial support. Instead, let the children learn to work their own.
Parents also need to "save the emergency, not the poor", so that their children know that the money earned by their parents is also hard-earned money.
A person who knows how to live on his own labor and manage his money well will also know how to live.
04. No judgment, but likes to take shortcuts
A person can never make money beyond his own knowledge.
If a child cannot live and work in a down-to-earth manner, and only thinks about taking shortcuts, then he will definitely take a detour.
I've seen a lot of people in my life who are ambitious and take shortcuts, and when they get into trouble, they always throw the mess at their parents.
Parents are also overly doting on their children, no matter what trouble they have caused, they will willingly clean up the aftermath for them.
This will lead to repeated detours because the cost of trial and error is too low.
Because after he makes a mistake, he does not need to take responsibility or solve the problem, which will make his children not know how to grow up and not know how to take responsibility.
Jenny Arim said: "It is not terrible that there are shortcomings in children, but what is terrible is that the parents, who are the leaders of children's lives, lack the correct concept of home education and teaching methods. ”
As parents, we must learn to let go of our children's growth.
Especially children who are ambitious and like to take shortcuts, let them learn to take responsibility for their own actions.
When they get into trouble on their own, let them solve the problem on their own, let them face it on their own, so that they can really grow.
05. Summary
The influence of parents on their children is lifelong.
Tyman Johnson said, "Successful tutors make successful children, and failed tutors make failed children." ”
As parents, on the way of their children's growth, we must learn to slowly let go and slowly withdraw from their world.
Let children face life alone and solve problems alone, so that they can gradually understand life, know how to plan for their own lives, and know how to plan for a rainy day.
In this way, in the future, children will be able to live their own lives without the help of their parents.
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Author: Xia Mo, a cutting-edge emotional tutor, a psychology scholar, a popular emotional writer with more than 1 billion people on the whole network, a happy woman manager, focusing on emotion, sexes, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law for more than ten years.