Can men and women be friends?
There's no denying that:
In interpersonal communication, it is possible for men and women to establish pure friendship,
However, there are some boundaries that need to be clear on both sides.
After all, everyone plays different gender roles.
If you want a healthy relationship, you need both men and women to have this subconscious and be able to abide by these boundaries at the same time.
Otherwise, once there are no borders, the relationship between the two sides will be ambiguous.
So what kind of boundaries should both sides pay attention to?
From a psychological point of view, if you want to be friends for a long time, don't touch these 3 "boundaries"!
01
The boundaries of friendship
Rousseau said:
"Friendship is a contract between good people."
If you want a long-lasting relationship, you need to abide by contracts and boundaries.
Otherwise, it is difficult for friendships to last.
For example:
Sun Fei and Rena were college classmates.
The two became good friends because of their common hobby.
As time passed, Sun Fei found that he had developed feelings of admiration for Rena.
So he sent an ambiguous message to Rena, trying to confess.
Although Rena cares about this friendship, she can't accept it, and the two become a couple.
In the end, she chose to alienate Sun Fei, for fear that the other party would continue to misunderstand, and the friendship between the two was also affected.
In male-female friendship, keeping a distance is crucial.
Once two people get along and develop emotions that go beyond friendship, it can lead to tension and awkwardness in the relationship.
If you want to keep your friendship with each other, you must keep your feelings pure and avoid crossing the line.
02
The boundaries of the limbs
Psychologically, it is believed that:
"Frequent physical interaction is a manifestation of intimacy."
If men and women, accustomed to physical contact.
Then it is very likely that the relationship between the two parties has long surpassed friendship.
There is such a case.
Xiao Zhang and Xiao Li are colleagues.
Because of the cooperation at work, the two sides established a friendship.
However, Xiao Zhang has no sense of boundaries and often makes physical contact with Xiao Li.
Such as patting on the shoulder, hugging, etc.
These behaviors made Xiao Li feel uncomfortable and embarrassed, and even began to doubt Xiao Zhang's motives.
In the end, the relationship between the two was estranged because of Xiao Zhang's misbehavior.
It is undeniable that in the friendship between men and women, some physical contact will inevitably occur.
However, if these contacts go beyond the boundaries of friendship, they can be defensive.
03
The boundaries of privacy
Bacon once wrote:
"The foundation of friendship is respect for each other's privacy."
We are all individuals.
In the process of growing up, you will form your own secrets.
One of the acts of respecting a friend is to respect the independence of the individual and respect the secrets of the friend.
For example, Xiao Zhao and Xiao Wang are good friends.
They often chat together and share their lives with each other.
However, Xiao Zhao couldn't control his mouth.
Sometimes, in chats with others, he will inadvertently reveal Xiao Wang's privacy.
Such as family problems, emotional experiences, etc.
The leakage of this information made Xiao Wang feel betrayed and hurt, and he began to doubt Xiao Zhao's sincerity and friendship.
Therefore, the relationship between the two has cracked because they have touched the boundary of privacy.
In the friendship between men and women, it is very important to respect the privacy of the other person.
Everyone has their own privacy and secrets, and they don't want to be known by others.
If one party inadvertently or deliberately divulges the other's privacy, it can undermine the foundation of trust in friendship.
Therefore, if you want a long-lasting friendship, you must respect the boundaries of privacy and refrain from doing offensive things.
Emotionally original, warm words. From the perspective of psychology, I analyze the thousands of emotions and hope that my article can bring you a different feeling. Thank you for your continued attention, and having you by your side on the creative road is the biggest motivation.