Today is a good day for carnations to bloom all over the world, and I wish great mothers a happy Mother's Day.
You say, what does the handful of mothers who are very small and don't love their children think in her heart?
Fan Shengmei is not an exception, she is a social phenomenon that has always existed.
Fan Shengmei's original family in the TV series "Ode to Joy" has left a mark in the history of TV dramas, making many drama followers who have similar experiences to 'Fan Shengmei' empathize.
There have always been parents in the world who don't love their children, and what they leave to their children is an unbearable growth experience, and a cold family relationship without temperature, and the damage caused by this experience is incurable for life.
Fan Shengmei's parents love her, but not much, so they can be regarded as for her to go to college, but the ultimate goal is to let her earn more money to support Fan Shengmei's brother's family.
The parents have completely different plans for the future of their two biological children since childhood. The son is used to inherit the bloodline, even if he does not learn and has no skills, just because he is biologically male and meets the gender requirements of traditional culture for inheritance, although the old Fan family has no throne to inherit, and the family background is only one of the thousands of ordinary families in China. However, Fan Shengmei's elder brother relied on gender superiority to crush and exploit his sister all his life since he was born.
And when Fan Shengmei grew up, she not only took on all the family responsibilities and economic burdens that should have been borne by her brother, but she was PUA by her own mother since she was a child, from psychology to mind to soul, and completely agreed with her mother's enslavement and oppression of her. Fan Shengmei thinks that 'adoptive parents, brother and sister-in-law' is something she should do.
This kind of distorted family education is a fairly common existence within a certain range, such as the distribution of high bride prices that are popular in some regions at the moment. It is said that only a small number of girls will bring back the high bride price given by their in-laws when they get married, as a new life starting fund for a small family. Most girls leave the bride price to their parents for their younger brother or elder brother to marry a daughter-in-law. Of course, these girls are also very calm when talking about this matter, they don't feel that there is anything wrong, at best, it is not easy for them to be considerate of their parents, on the other hand, isn't this the result of the long-term original family parents PUA daughter to contribute to her mother's family.
It's not that parents don't love their daughters, it's just that the partiality is obvious, and it makes sense to use it.
Parents are eccentric, and they are also good at moral kidnapping
This topic definitely resonates with the unloved child who lives in a family with many children. Because, this phenomenon is all too common.
Parents are not only partial, but some parents will also boast in front of their children that they 'will be able to level a bowl of water', making children mistakenly think that 'the love given by Mom and Dad is the same'. The truth is that basically no parent can be completely 'even', they will definitely like one of the children in particular, or pay special attention to the boy in the family, and all the resources in the family (good food, fun, new clothes, etc.) are inclined to this much-loved child.
However, parents do not want to admit their partiality in front of all their children, because if they do, it will undermine their dignity as parents and their fairness in doing things, and it is not conducive to them continuing to brainwash those unfavored children who rely on them and trust them when they are young, and get out of their control earlier when they grow up. What's more, it can't achieve the purpose of squeezing and exploiting Fan Shengmei like Fan Shengmei's mother.
So, in this case, eccentric parents have a particularly powerful skill of 'moral kidnapping' their children. Parents and sons have repeatedly 'practiced' and constantly 'improved' in the more than 20 years of raising their children, and before the children themselves awaken, the parents' skills are unsuccessful.
Parental partiality and moral kidnapping are also an important reason for the disharmony of large families with many children after they reach adulthood. Such parents have some love for their children, but not much, they are more selfish and want more benefits and benefits from their children.
Don't over-mythologize all motherly love, some people really don't deserve to be mothers.
Some time ago, the manic mother who threw the child downstairs in Chongqing, and the mother in Weihai who abused her 5-year-old son with her boyfriend after the divorce, these kinds of people are all demons in human skin, although the children were born by them themselves, they are really not worthy of being mothers.
Of course, there are still few cases of such extremes in reality.
Although motherly love is nature, it is true that some people do not have this nature, and she also gave birth to children. Having a baby is because she is getting older, or just a step in her life that needs to be experienced, or some other need, in short, it has nothing to do with whether she loves it or not.
Therefore, when the child meets such a mother, as long as he does not starve to death, it is very good to be like a kitten and a puppy to fool around, and what kind of maternal love to talk about with this kind of mother, isn't that a fantasy, she doesn't understand.
However, when the child is fooled into growing up and has the ability to support himself, this parent, who did not pay attention to the child's life and was not responsible, will often jump out and continue to ask the child from the moral high ground under the banner of giving birth to a child.
…… ……
In fact, some people are born sick, even after she became a mother, she is still sick.
is like Fan Shengmei's mother in "Ode to Joy", she loves and cares for her son in every way, and she does her best to squeeze her daughter, even knowing that her daughter's way of getting money is not very moral, and she doesn't care about her daughter's dignity as a human being, she still keeps asking for money, and even hints that her daughter can do anything as long as she gets money. This kind of cold mother, how can her daughter love her?
I especially appreciate the current post-00s to break up family affection, like the two generations of the 80s and 70s, who lack this courage, the 80s and 70s are also the generation that did not enjoy much maternal love when they were teenagers, but they are most likely to be kidnapped by their parents' morality.
Sleep until you wake up naturally on the morning of the weekend, and when you wake up, you see a video sent by a friend, he is chasing "Ode to Joy 5", today is Mother's Day, and yesterday I have written a text praising my mother, and today I am feeling and writing this text of a niche point of view.