#头条创作挑战赛#
In a thought-provoking comic scene:
On stage, a woman is radiant, elegant, and charismatic.
In the audience, there was a tide of enthusiasm and praise, and everyone was attracted by her light.
As night wore on, however, and the crowd dispersed, the focal point of the stage took on a different face backstage – slumped in his chair wearily, habitually lit a cigarette, and grumbled.
This scene reveals her true self, which is very different from her public image, and the so-called "elegance" and "dignified" are just beautiful projections in the hearts of the audience.
This is known in psychology as the "halo effect": once someone exhibits a positive trait, people tend to think that all aspects of it are positive.
Unfortunately, this kind of generalized way of cognition often leads us to be unable to judge people and things objectively and fairly, and falls into the misunderstanding of cognition.
Only by getting rid of the shackles of the "halo effect" and having the courage to uncover the surface can we touch the essence of things and see the real individual.
There is such a vivid example in the book "List of Life" by the Swedish writer Frederick Backman:
The protagonist of the story, 63-year-old Mary, has been living in endless admiration for others for a long time, and gradually loses herself.
It wasn't until a chance job opportunity that she learned to peel off the aura given by the outside world, rediscover her inner value, and embark on a new journey of self-discovery.
As Konosuke Matsushita said:
"There is no need to envy the talents of others, and there is no need to lament your own ordinariness."
In the past, we may have all looked humbly up to others, living in endless comparisons and anxieties.
But as the years go by, you will eventually wake up to the fact that only by correcting your own posture and discovering your own unique light can you bloom your own splendid life.
You live too painfully, you look up to others for too long
Mary was an introvert and unsmiling child, in stark contrast to her sunny and much-loved older sister. She is willing to be a shadow-like existence of her sister, obscure.
The tragedy struck, my sister died in a car accident, and the light of the family dimmed, but the brilliance of my sister still shines in everyone's memory.
After that, her mother was overwhelmed by grief, her father was estranged, and Mary seemed to be forgotten in a corner.
She tries to awaken the warmth of her home with the organization of her household chores and the careful care of the plants left behind by her sister, but it all seems to be in vain. Her parents turned a blind eye to what she did, and all they said was disappointment and contempt for her.
Mary begins to hide her true self and lives a cautious life, just to avoid trouble.
In the choice of marriage, she obeyed her mother's orders and married Kent, who was divorced and had two sons.
After marriage, Mary was swallowed up by daily chores and the role of a full-time housewife before she had time to share her dreams.
This is forty years.
Mary was deeply admired by Kent's witty conversation, and she gradually regarded him as the center of her life, relying on everything, and gradually losing her personal color.
Eventually, she became a woman whose children did not want to be close to her, and her husband became more and more indifferent.
As the saying goes, "Don't look up to others blindly, and don't despise yourself." ”
In the face of so-called "outstanding" individuals, people often unconsciously grovel and lose their self and bottom line.
Constant looking up will only make people lose and consume self-worth.
Therefore, it is particularly important to open the perspective of "de-apotheosis" at the right time.
Strip away the aura of others and embrace inner peace.
Learn to appreciate others and oneself with a healthy mindset, and be brave enough to live your true self.
Such a transformation is a reshaping of self-worth and an exploration of the true meaning of life.
Break the subjective "filter" and find your own shining point
Mary had expected life to go on without incident.
However, the sudden attack of her husband's heart attack and a woman's phone call, like a thunderbolt from the blue, shatters her peaceful world.
Faced with years of loyalty in exchange for betrayal, Mary resolutely chose to leave home and embark on a journey of independence.
She landed a job as an entertainment center administrator in Borg, far away, and despite the low pay and long distance, Mary did not hesitate to stay away from betrayal and restart her life.
When she first arrived in Borg, the gap between reality and imagination made her regretful. The inexplicable explosion of the car, the unintentional ball hit by the urchin knocked her out, and the sloppiness and disorder around her, all made her feel tormented.
Worse, the locals ridiculed her appointment as the new "old administrator".
The housewife was transformed into the helm of the chaos in an instant, and the pressure was rushing in, and Mary hid her face in the kitchen and cried bitterly, and her emotions collapsed. But she didn't give in, and instead used Snickers to "buy" the little mouse as a way of self-comfort.
She bravely stepped into the chaotic pizzeria, and despite the owner's often drunken and bitter words, Mary repeatedly reached out to help with the storefront.
Seeing the children's dirty clothes playing football, Mary took the initiative to take on the responsibility of cleaning and ironing.
She even challenged herself to successfully assemble furniture, proving her ability to be despised by her husband.
The most amazing thing is that Mary stood up in a moment of crisis, used her body to protect the children, and faced the guns of the gangsters.
Today, Mary deeply feels the awakening of her self-worth, she is no longer the forgotten character, but has become a being seen and needed.
The children spontaneously gathered around her and poured out their hearts; The owner of the pizzeria deliberately delayed repairing her car, hoping that she would stay for a long time; Even the landlord showed unprecedented warmth because of Mary's kind gesture.
As the writer Sanmao said: "Among the ten thousand people, the most cherished and appreciated is actually oneself." ”
Try to embark on a journey of inner "awakening" to return your attention to yourself and keep looking at your heart.
Only by focusing on inner growth can we stimulate our potential strength, explore and realize our personal values, and gradually achieve a better self.
Life is tuned into the "disenchantment" mode and manages oneself inwardly
The role of football coach was once an unattainable dream for Mary, who was over the age of six.
Now, however, she has not only taken on this responsibility, but has also earned the respect and affection of everyone by mentoring young players with a rigorous attitude.
She sat side by side with the children at the town's events, cheering them on for every effort.
Faced with Vika's bravery in blocking the ball and the desperate struggle of her teammates, Mary's heart was full of doubts: "Why does football make you so obsessed with it that you are willing to take risks?" ”
After pondering, Vika asked, "Have you ever experienced the love we have for football?" My dreams are full of greenery, what kind of scenery do you have in your dreams? ”
This question unexpectedly led to Marie's hidden heart: "I occasionally dream of Paris. "It was a distant longing shared with my sister, but it was buried deep in my heart because of the insignificance of the past.
"Paris, will it be too old?" Vika's naïve question tugs at Mary's heartstrings and makes her re-examine her heart's desires.
At this time, life takes a turn for the worse - her husband asks to be reunited, hoping that she will return to the family; And Sven, a longtime admirer, also plucked up the courage to express his wish that she would stay.
What's more meaningful is that the team members supported her dream with practical actions and prepared the travel expenses she needed to go to Paris.
Just as the moment she first arrived at Borg, Mary once again embarked on a lonely journey, but this time her mind was filled with self-determined directions.
The curiosity and speculation of the outside world did not shake her in the slightest, because she had found her own rhythm and walked calmly on the road to her dreams.
There is a saying: everything comes and goes at a time, and all we need to do is to focus on self-growth and wait for everything that time brings.
In this complex world, everyone is unique.
When we choose introspection and self-improvement as the tone of our lives, one day, we will also become the bright color of others' dreams.
The motto on the cover of "List of Life" profoundly expresses the challenges of life: "In the face of life, the greatest courage is to abandon the familiar past and take the brave step of restarting."
Mary's metamorphosis, from attachment to self-awareness, has been trapped in the shadows of other people's lives, fearing any change. Now, she has learned to value herself, and life has bloomed with her own brilliance.
There is such a text, warm and powerful, that hits the heart:
"In the middle of the journey, I suddenly feel the beauty of myself, my face is a little pretty, I am kind, I am good at understanding and considerate, I am willing to share, I uphold the values of integrity, treat others with sincerity, resonate with the emotions of others, and have strong self-healing power.
Although it is not perfect, it is not flawed, and on the whole, it is really commendable. ”
In this colorful world, true appreciation and acceptance should come first and foremost from the heart, not from the outsider.
Only when we peel off the fog of external brilliance and restore the inner balance to calm, can we glimpse the unique and irreproducible beauty of ourselves.
Touch [Follow], may our journey no longer be lost in the hustle and bustle of the outside world, no longer trapped by anxiety, and only need to bloom wantonly in our personal universe, as brilliant as ever.