Text | Mi Li's mother
In the past few days, the suicide of the fat cat has been fermenting on the Internet, and the more you brush, the more you will see the words of a hundred schools.
Mi Li's mother has eaten melons almost, and she has seen a lot of statements, most of which are still verbal and written criticisms of fishing girls, as well as grievances against the fat cat, a young man who is frugal and earns money with his life.
This melon has been eaten until now, and the ins and outs of the ins and outs don't need to be said by Mi Li's mother, which probably means that a god-level booster in the glory of kings, Mengqi played very well, so he called himself a fat cat.
He spent a total of 51w on his girlfriend who was in online dating, and finally his girlfriend proposed to break up, and the relationship between the two collapsed, causing him to commit suicide without thinking about throwing himself into the river.
Before his death, he played games day and night to make money, transferred large sums of money to his girlfriend, bought gold bracelets, and opened a flower shop for her, but she was still not satisfied. And the fat cat eats cheap takeout every day, which is very distressing.
After the incident, his girlfriend Tan Zhu returned the 136,000 yuan from the flower shop and settled with the fat cat father.
But the fat cat's sister kept coming out to tear up, revealing a lot of Tan Zhu's chat records during his relationship, and also revealing that Tan Zhu was ambiguous with a girl during his relationship, obviously a lesbian but at the same time playing with his younger brother Fat Cat's feelings, and squeezing a lot of his money.
Undoubtedly, this incident was very cruel, and a living life was lost in this way.
A young man who knows how to hurt people, has the courage to give sincerity, and can step down to earn hard-earned money, he is not deeply involved in the world, but he is very good.
His death really wasn't worth it, everyone knew that. But in Mi Li's mother's view, the crux of some of his thoughts that he can't get around could have been avoided.
As a parent, no one wants to see an excellent child who has been raised to become an adult trapped in love, and when it comes to falling in love, the mentality collapses to commit suicide, and he falls into the mud step by step. In fact, all this could have been stopped in time from the beginning.
Self-moving giving
Fat Cat is not a rich man who deserves to be fished in the traditional sense, because he earns hard-earned money, 20 yuan a game, highly concentrated, high-intensity playing for more than ten hours a day, and can earn about 5,000 yuan a week.
Although at his early 20s, it is already very powerful to have such an income level.
But he didn't earn it by skill, but purely by brute force, which is equivalent to exchanging his physical strength for money.
Tan Zhu is a selfish girl who has no empathy ability, and it can be seen from her chat records that her speech skills and leek cutting skills are not very clever, and she doesn't even need to deliberately PUA fat cats, which is simple and straightforward.
The fat cat satisfies again and again, so that her greed continues to grow, she is never satisfied, and puts forward higher requirements, from 999 red envelopes to 9999; Seeing that the other party could still make money desperately for himself, he continued to increase his weight, and said that his money had been saved for a fixed period and he would concentrate on spending his husband's money in the future.
When Tan Zhu's obedience test continues to be successful, she will naturally continue to increase her weight, because she finds that the other party is very flexible.
This girl has a very heavy background of greed in the depths of human nature, and once she meets someone who can be squeezed, she will never be soft. She is older than the fat cat, and her social experience is relatively richer, she knows exactly what she is doing, and she also knows that she is actually bullying children by relying on the poor information on her experience.
But the gifts of fate are secretly marked with a price, because greed takes what should not be taken, harming others and themselves. A young life is buried, and her money has to be spit out, and the feeling of being ruined by the whole network, discredited, and scolded by thousands of people must not be comfortable.
But in fact, it can be seen from the chat that Tan Zhu, a girl, actually does not have the routine and literacy of a professional pig killing plate, her set, used on the vast majority of rational boys, will not work, people will not satisfy her at all, the reason why she can cut so big this wave is only because she happened to meet a fat cat, and a large part of the luck is in it.
And the reason why the brainless harvesting without PUA skills can force a boy in his prime to death is actually because he doesn't think Tan Zhu is a fishing girl at all.
In the chat log, many teammates who played games together felt sorry for him and advised him to rest and eat something good. But he was reluctant.
He said that he should hurry up and save money, the expenses are relatively large, and his girlfriend will open a flower shop:
He has excessively good expectations for the future, and he also has unrealistic imaginations about his relationship with Tan Zhu. In fact, his dedication is not to a large extent about who forced him or who PUA him, but his driving force is actually the hypothesis of happiness made up in his mind, which is self-moving.
Fat Cat belongs to people who have a lot of inner drama, and he will automatically set his girlfriend to live without him, and there is no other way to go without his support. This sense of responsibility will be inexplicably imposed on oneself, and even if it is overloaded, it is still necessary to carry the load.
The last transfer he made to Tan Zhu before he died, and even remarked "voluntary gift", and in the end, he was still immersed in this self-touching and did not wake up.
Mi Li's mother always believes that those who have mental problems and can't think about it are because a certain link is not self-consistent, and the reality is in conflict with the brain, resulting in a can't be twisted, so they drill the tip of the horns.
Because he has actually seen the reality that the other party has no sincerity, but he has not been willing to accept this reality for a long time, so that he is moved and deceived to the point where he can't end.
To prevent being cut is to change your own mindset
Why is it said that self-moved people encounter pig killing plates sooner or later? Because the pig slaughterers have a keen sense of smell, just like people who want to do business everywhere looking for business opportunities, and the key people they harvest are this kind of serious and persistent people who do not have a deep understanding of interpersonal relationships.
They'll catch them like sharks smell blood, and then lean in. In other words, it is not the robbers who rob the house, but the loopholes in the minds of the harvested themselves, which spontaneously attract the scammers.
Many people will compare Tan Zhu with Zhai Xinxin's case, saying that Tan Zhu is a copy of Zhai Xinxin, a typical crime and fraud.
But in fact, Mi Li's mother thinks that there is a difference between the two. Zhai Xinxin relies on her superior appearance and education, accurately screens, tests one by one, focuses on fishing, and specializes in catching suitable leeks on the blind date website, and she has a strict plan and implementation steps.
But when Tan Zhu met the fat cat, it was largely crooked, and after inspiring greed, there was no superb operation technique, and the other party was very active and willing to pay.
Mi Li's mother actually has a friend's girlfriend around her, she has been with her boyfriend for many years, and she has lived together for a long time, but she lives together without a marriage certificate.
The man is in debt for business, and the woman will help him pay it back, and she will take the money herself every month to help him pay off the credit card. Later, the man cheated, and it was a blatant showdown, and he directly proposed to break up.
After the woman was actually broken up, she still didn't give up on the man, knowing that he was already with someone else, and she was still wishful thinking to help him pay off the card every month.
Others say that men are shameless and "fishing men", but this girl said: "What he doesn't want is what I want to give him, I firmly believe that one day he will realize that I am the best for him, and he will come back to me." ”
This is a real story, and it is no exaggeration. The man is not a pig killer, he is not a professional PUA thief, no one forced her to transfer money, all of this is what she is willing.
So her dedication is entirely based on her own fantasies. And the man is just an ordinary person with a very low sense of morality, who is tired of taking advantage of the advantage, so he looks for a new love.
Therefore, all changes and stop-losses are only related to the transformation of one's own heart. When you no longer increase the stakes because of excessive attachment and unrealistic fantasies, or even make desperate bets, you will not encounter the so-called pig killing market.
On the contrary, if you wishfully think that the other party will see your contribution after all, then being disappointed, hurt, and deceived is almost a doomed ending.
Untie yourself
It is not anyone who often pushes people into a corner, but their own ideas.
When the fat cat world is left with only two things: burying his head in games and making money to transfer money to his girlfriend, he is undoubtedly firmly tied to these two things.
And anyone's life, tied to death by anything, will not be comfortable, people live uncomfortably, the mentality is particularly easy to collapse.
High-intensity order taking, with a workload of more than 10 hours a day, is already overloaded. We are normal entertainment, playing one game is very cool, playing three games will feel a little tired, if you play for three hours in a row, you may be very tired.
Each of us should have a source of dopamine that comes from a wide variety of euphoria.
For example, we will be happy when we eat a delicious meal today, our children will be happy when they get a perfect test paper, we will be happy when our girlfriend pushes us a funny video, we will be happy when we read an interesting book, watch a good movie, my husband bought a gift, and the company gave us a bonus......
The more sources of happiness in life, the less panicked you will be and the more stable your mindset will be. Because even if one thing is not satisfactory, another thing will make you happy, and there is always something that can make you happy.
But for Fat Cat, high-intensity gaming occupies almost all of his life, and the high concentration of energy is already irritating, not to mention, he does all this to meet his girlfriend's financial needs.
In other words, the only source of happiness for the fat cat is the positive feedback from his girlfriend at the moment when he receives the money.
When his girlfriend is elated when he receives money, he can get dopamine, and once his girlfriend's attitude changes, or even mentions breaking up, he is equivalent to losing all the happiness in his life, which is indeed fatal.
Imagine how dangerous it is when you put all your spiritual sustenance, your reasons for happiness, on the feedback of a person after she meets her needs! It is equivalent to giving you a way to live if she is happy, and it is easy to hurt you if she is unhappy. What PUA, what high-end operation, is not needed at all.
Isn't there a saying that "who hasn't met a few scumbags when they're young?" For the fat cat, Tan Zhu's appearance is to let him understand that people's hearts are sinister when he has never been in the world, if he passes this hurdle and survives the pain of falling out of love, he will realize that human nature is not like playing games, and not as long as hard work will be rewarded.
When he understands the stop loss, understands that in addition to love, there are many excitements in life, and he is so good, and it is not necessary for her, he will grow into a real adult.
However, he did not survive this hurdle.
Life is a process of constantly fighting monsters and upgrading, and as the experience of the world deepens, the pressure will also increase.
Some people accumulate experience and grow faster than they can withstand pressure, and he survives; And some people have not yet accumulated enough experience points, and the pressure on them knocks him down, and there is no next chance to improve.
The death of the fat cat makes us realize that people really can't be too serious and too serious. When we realize that everything can be lost, relationships, money, even health, life, change and impermanence happen every day, we always move forward as one, and many problems will be solved.
We all have to learn to loosen our bonds, just like a flood is about to burst, and we must know how to discharge the flood in time.
If in the middle of the night when he is dizzy, the fat cat is reluctant to order himself that expensive takeout, if at a moment when he can't hold on anymore, he can say to his girlfriend: I'm really tired.
Life may take a turn for the better at that moment. Because of a single thought, everything will be different.
Personal profile: @米粒妈频道 (welcome to follow), Mi Li's mother, American returnee, Haidian parent, the author of "Parent-Child English Books That Affect Children's Lives" ranked first on the Dangdang New Book List. Focus on learning dry goods, educational experience sharing, education and further education for children aged 5-12, English, mathematics, science enlightenment, and new and good things from all over the world, welcome to pay attention! (0~5 years old, please pay attention: @米粒妈爱分享)