I always don't know what to say when I talk to my parents on the phone, and it seems that every time I turn into a "uh-huh-hmm" ......

Ever since I went to college

I'm really getting scared to talk to my parents on the phone

The content of each phone call with parents is limited to

"Have you eaten? How did you sleep? Is living expenses enough? ”

After the "uh-huh" answer, there was an awkward silence

Sometimes I want to share with them what happened recently

But they always behave at a loss

"Oh, really?"

I want to confide in them about the difficulties they have encountered recently

But every time it will be criticized

"Isn't it hard enough" and "Spend more time on studying"

As time went on, I didn't know what to say

In retrospect

This actually started in high school

My parents would only care about my grades, food, clothing, and housing

I just want to know if I have made progress in my studies and ranked among the best grades

But I didn't even give advice to fill in the college entrance examination

This continues to this day

When talking to parents on the phone, I am most afraid of the air suddenly quiet

"I'm going to class, bye-bye"

I had to find an excuse to end this repetitive and awkward chat

between me and my parents

It's as if there's an invisible chasm

Obviously a loved one

But it's more like a familiar stranger

It's been a long time since I've had a deep exchange

But I also want to share my joys, sorrows, and sorrows with my parents

Alas... But can I really change all that?

The painstaking efforts of parents behind the communication gap

After entering the university

Our relationship with our parents has entered a new phase

From childhood like glue

It became a face across the bank when I grew up

It seems that there is some generation gap between everyone and their parents

But we pay little attention to the feelings of parents behind the conflict:

"After there is no one in the family, my heart is always empty, I don't want to do anything else all day, I miss my child, and I don't dare to call him for fear of disturbing him.

”

"After my child goes to college, it becomes more and more difficult to communicate, and I am very impatient to talk to him on the phone, and I really don't know what to do."

"Looking at the parent group, I feel that other parents are very powerful, helping their children find a lot of resources and help them make plans, but I don't have the power to do so

I don't know how to help him at all, and sometimes I'm really power......less."

In fact, our parents are also confused and entangled

I also want to better express my love for my children

You may be accidentally using the wrong method

We also need to put ourselves in their shoes

Understand the painstaking work of parents who are "clumsy".

Here are some communication tips

(Knock on the point!) Give it to us and Mom and Dad to grow up to be better children and parents

Parents are encouraged to adapt to the changing role

At the university level, individuals further complete their differentiation with their parents, and our independence and autonomy increase. As children, parents can be encouraged to adapt to the change of roles, respect each other as independent individuals, and let go so that we can gradually take responsibility for our own lives.

Let mom and dad change from "parents" to "friends", get along with us more equally, from "leaders" to "partners", from "deciders" to "supporters", and be our strongest backing

。 Even if we encounter setbacks, even if we have nowhere to go, it is enough to know that there is always a roof in the world that shelters us from the wind and rain.

In addition, the increased spatial distance between us and our parents after going to college allows parents to shift their attention from us to themselves. Do something you've always wanted to do but don't have time for, develop some new interests and hobbies, and be yourself first, then your parents.

Chat communication is indispensable

On chat time

We can discuss with our parents when and how we can communicate. There should be irregular piecemeal communication, and there should be a complete regular communication habit. For example, with a cycle of one week or two weeks, or parents take the initiative, or children take the initiative, the contract should be strictly implemented after it is formed, and parents can supervise and remind. There can be various ways to communicate and remind, such as telephone, video, WeChat, etc.

on the content of the chat

(1) As children, we can share some fragments of our daily life, recommend the school websites and official accounts that we often browse, and continuous reports about our school life and learning conditions, etc., to help them understand the cutting-edge ideas of contemporary college students.

(2) The difference in chatting with parents, even a small meme is vividly reflected, and we should give them more patience and tolerance

and help elders understand the meaning of memes, and believe that they can also keep up with the trend of our young people.

(My favorite emoji)

(My mom's favorite meme.)

）

(3) As a parent, you can develop from caring about food, clothing, housing and transportation to caring about your child's spiritual life, such as: caring about your child's emotional life, leisure and entertainment, travel, self-worth, etc., staying focused when chatting with your child, not doing other things at the same time, responding positively to your child's sharing, and cultivating sensitivity to young people's issues.

Parents are advised to change the way they communicate

When we share our joys and sorrows

Sometimes you hear parents judging what is right and wrong

Only judge the quality of "behavior", and do not pay attention to the existence of "feelings".

Blocking our words back with a little bit of preaching

When frustrated, I hate conversations like this the most

I need this kind of care the most

Our parents' true feelings and understanding of us are: "I see you, I see your efforts, and I see your frustrations. Exam results are not the most important thing, and your value and brilliance will not be lost because of this. ”

So please give us a little more encouragement and a little more words of recognition

, so that we can share big and small things, laughter and sadness.

The process of growing up is

Slowly drifting away from his parents

When we grow up and leave home

Spending less and less time with your parents

And the nagging of parents to us

却越来越多

Parents sometimes have a hard time understanding how young people communicate

But I care about it very seriously

Whether the children are healthy and happy outside the home

Everyday phone calls

For parents

It is relief and peace of mind

Don't be afraid to be cold when communicating with your parents

They just miss you

"Every time I leave, I always pretend to be relaxed

Smiled and said go back, turn around and wet your eyes with tears."

Love between parents and children

It is the most beautiful expression in the world

As we run towards the wider world

Parents are always behind them

The strongest backing

◆Source | Chinese University Students Online◆Edit | Muzi ◆ proofreading | From the heart, deep sea ◆ audit | Xiaocao, Liu Siyuan

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