#婚姻家庭##亲情##重男轻女##精神分裂##不离不弃#
This is the 3,821st real story we have told
I can't remember how many times my husband and I have argued, but each time he told me, "When this is the case, I'm not going to go again." Then, I left my children and me behind to "play" with money.
Today, he is going out again, and I say, "If you want to go out again" and "play", I will divorce you, and I will do what I say. But he left my daughter and me and gone.
It is said that people are lazy, greedy, and not motivated, it doesn't matter, the family is poorer at most. But with Dbo, this is the end. I hugged my daughter and looked at the house with four walls, and her innocent eyes. knows that if he continues to spend with him, it is likely that even his daughter's life will be lost.
So, I filed for divorce with my husband and resolutely took my daughter back to her parents' home. But I didn't wait for my husband to sign for the divorce, nor did I wait for my husband to come to his parents' house and beg me to come home, what I was waiting for was 100 times worse than the news that my husband didn't divorce me and didn't ask me to come home.
(That's me)
My name is Chen Yue, and I was born in 1994 in a farming family in Lalin Town, Wuchang City, Heilongjiang Province. For as long as I can remember, I have known two things, one is that life at home is very difficult, my elderly grandmother often has to use her bicycle to push vegetables to sell, and the other is that my mother doesn't like me.
When I was a child, I thought that I was not obedient enough, not sensible enough, and not diligent enough, so my mother didn't like me, so I rushed to work, well-behaved, and obedient, but my mother still didn't like me. I think she probably doesn't like children. Later, my younger brother was born.
I slowly discovered that as long as my brother likes it, it belongs to my brother; As long as it is what my brother likes to eat, I will give it to my younger brother; As long as my brother is with me, no matter what the reason is, it's all my fault, and I will be beaten. At one point, I wondered if I was my mother's own.
Later, I gradually realized that my mother didn't like me, and my gender was original sin, and nothing else. Dad was okay with me, but he worked outside all the year round and couldn't come back a few times a year.
(Childhood me)
Grandma should be the best person in the family to me. When I was a child, I used to help her push the cart to sell vegetables, and every time she finished selling vegetables, she would buy me a cake to eat.
Sometimes, when I watched my mother scold me and beat me loudly, she would stop my mother: "You keep yelling at her, always beating her, and when she goes out, she won't come back, and then you will regret it!" ”
Later, I went to school, but I didn't like to study, and my grades were not good, so I barely read until the second year of junior high school, and I didn't want to go to school. My mom didn't care about me, so I dropped out of school. I was 16 years old at the time, and I was so excited that I could leave home and go to work, and I would no longer have to be beaten and scolded, and I would be free.
I went to town and asked the owner of a clothing store if I needed it, and they said I was too young to use it. I looked for a few more stores, but people thought I was too young. In the end, I had to find a waiter at a restaurant not far from home.
It didn't take long for me to get to know a man who was a guest at the restaurant and often came to the restaurant for dinner, and I thought he looked very energetic, so I had a good impression of him. He probably sensed that I had a crush on him and started chasing me.
(My Rural Life)
He was 8 years older than me, divorced and had a boy, but I didn't mind and accepted him.
But our love was resolutely opposed by our parents. said that I am young, the other party is 8 years older than me, divorced, has children, and more importantly, his family's economic conditions are not good, I want to follow him, and I will definitely have a hard time in the future.
But I didn't listen to it at all, and I just wanted to be nice to him. In order to stop me, my parents dropped my mobile phone and locked me up to prevent me from contacting the outside world. I went on a hunger strike without eating or drinking, and my parents were worried that they would force me out of the box, so they agreed to our affair.
Now, I am a mother of a girl, and I can finally understand the hard work of my parents. Thinking about it from another perspective, I thought, if it were me, I wouldn't let my daughter marry such a man. But at that time, how could I think of this, I just felt that I was fighting for love, it was cool and brave.
Maybe it's because I'm young and don't know how to get along, so I often treat him badly, I want him to listen to me for everything, and I always want to control him, and don't let him drink with his friends and hang out. Therefore, our love affair is full of quarrels.
(Life has abused me a thousand times)
But no matter how noisy it was, I never thought of separating from him. I always feel that since I am with him, we should be together for the rest of my life.
When I was 23 years old, he offered to marry me, but he said he couldn't give me anything. Because he has no money of his own, his mother also thinks that she has already helped her son get married once, and the task is complete. Therefore, there are no three golds, bride price, or house.
I understand his difficulties, if not, there will be none. married him naked, and lived with her mother-in-law after marriage.
But even though I didn't want anything, my mother-in-law still didn't like me. thinks that I am 8 years younger than his son, and I am not a person who can live a good life with his son, so he is picky about me and finds all kinds of trouble. I was distressed and aggrieved. I feel that all problems are a problem of money, and as long as there is money, all problems can be solved.
We decided to start our own business. But I'm young, inexperienced, and he hasn't done business either. We don't know what to do to make money? At this time, we saw that there was a barbecue restaurant with people coming and going, and the business was very good, so we decided to open a barbecue restaurant.
(This is my lovely daughter)
We borrowed money from relatives and friends, and then borrowed money from the bank, a total of more than 200,000 yuan, and then went to rent a storefront. We rented a fairly cheap rough house, which needed a lot of effort to renovate before we could use it.
After the decoration is completed and the hotel plaque is completed, there is not much money left. There was no way, we bought second-hand refrigerators, freezers, tables, chairs and benches in the store in the later stage.
When the barbecue restaurant opened, we only hired one barbecue master, and I was responsible for the kitchen helper, washing dishes, skewers, skewers, and waiters in the front hall.
At the beginning, the business was not bad, and the food prepared the day before was basically sold out. I am very relieved that all my efforts have not been in vain, and even the string of bamboo skewers that penetrate my fingernails does not hurt so much.
But it was too tiring to wear multiple hats every day, and our daughter was born at this time, so my husband and I discussed wanting to give the restaurant to the barbecue master, but they didn't agree. We can only keep doing.
Soon after, several more shops opened in the surrounding area, and our business gradually became bad, and sometimes, the money we made was only enough to pay the barbecue chef's salary.
(My daughter is the driving force of my life)
I think we're going to lose money if we go on like this. So, we decided not to hire a barbecue master, but to replace the barbecue master with my husband, and I continued to do what I had done before, so that I could save some money.
The barbecue restaurant continues to be maintained, and we can finally breathe a sigh of relief. However, at this time, several barbecue restaurants have launched activities to eat barbecue and drink for free. In line with the situation, we also advertised this as well. Unexpectedly, this decision made our barbecue restaurant completely finished.
Most of the people who eat barbecue here are farmers in the neighborhood, and they are all very good at drinking, and they can drink a lot of peanuts for a few peanuts. Sometimes, several people at a table order a 30 yuan skewer, but drink a case or even more beer, so the better the business, the more you lose.
Later, we couldn't hold on anymore and had to close our doors. I calculated, this barbecue restaurant, we built nearly 400,000 before and after. In order to pay off the debt, my husband went out to work, leaving me and my children at home. My mother-in-law didn't like me, she ignored me, I had to work alone, I had to take care of the children, and I was often so busy that I couldn't even take care of eating.
(It's really hard work)
But I don't complain about this, I just hope that my husband can earn back the money and change the situation we are in now. In the first few months, my husband was able to send money home on time, but it didn't take long for him to stop sending money home. I was worried, thinking he was unemployed or had some other problem.
Later, I learned that my husband met a few "friends" of D-Bo during his part-time job, and after hearing that our family had so many foreign debts, he persuaded my husband: "You owe so much money, and you have to pay it back little by little by working part-time, and you have to pay it back until the Year of the Monkey. ”
The husband was said to be moved, and participated in what these people called "give it a go." "And it's pretty big every time. At first, he also won small, but most of the time, he lost, and the more he lost, the more he wanted to win.
Soon, he had no principal. In order to continue Bo, he maxed out his credit card and opened various W loans...... It wasn't until a platform called to urge me to pay back the money that I didn't know about him outside. I called him home and persuaded him to stop gambling, but he didn't listen at all and went out to gamble again and again.
(I can't control my husband)
The family had bought a little belongings before, but he quickly emptied them. My mother-in-law became more and more dissatisfied with me, thinking that I had not taken good care of her son.
I had bitter words, stopped him again and again, and gave him opportunities again and again, but he couldn't listen, so he still ran out to gamble, and I was desperate.
I didn't want my daughter's life to fall into a quagmire because of her father, D-Bo, so I decided to divorce him. So, after failing to stop him from going out to gamble again, I left him a divorce agreement and took my daughter back to her parents' house.
But he has always refused to agree to divorce. Even, after I returned to my parents' house, he came to me once, saying that he had a very powerful friend who wanted to take him to earn money together, and asked me to help him get money. But where do I go to get money from him? Even if I can get the money, I don't dare to give it to him!
He walked away angrily. After that, he never came to me again. I had to wait and wait at my mother's house. But I didn't wait for my husband to take me home, or for him to agree to divorce me, just for the bad news that a friend of his had brought me.
(After the collapse, he only knows how to eat)
His friend told me that he didn't get the money when he came to me that time, and when he went back, he went around looking for someone to borrow money to cooperate with the so-called rich friend, but he was deceived and empty.
Seeing that the previous accounts were not cleared, and new accounts were added, and I divorced again, he couldn't bear these blows, and collapsed directly, and now he is delirious.
I was stunned by the news, I thought he would be in trouble with me, and I didn't want a divorce; thought that he would continue to "play" money if he did not change his bad habits; I thought we'd get together and break up, but I never thought he'd become a "psychopath".
After my parents found out about his situation, they insisted that I divorce him, saying that if I had a mental problem, it would be equivalent to being a waster. If I go back, I won't be able to live the rest of my life.
I know my parents are doing it for my good, and they're right, but do I really have the heart to give up on him? While I was hesitating, one day, my daughter, who was a few years old, suddenly asked me for her father, saying that she missed her father.
I burst into tears, I have been with him for 14 years, if I give up on him now, will my daughter blame me when she grows up? Blame me for abandoning her dad when he needed me the most?
(Daughter misses her father)
In the end, despite my parents' resistance, I took my daughter back to my in-law's house. When my mother-in-law saw that I was going back at this time, her attitude towards me became a little better. But my husband doesn't know me and my daughter at all.
It hurts to see him scared. I secretly vowed to cure him, find the person who deceived him, let my daughter have a healthy father, and reunite our little family.
I took him everywhere to seek medical treatment, and the doctors' diagnosis was much the same: the brain was stimulated and caused by schizophrenia, and it took time, love and patience from his family to be cured.
I don't lack love and patience, what I lack is money for his treatment. In order to earn money, I do all the dirty work. But he was always crazy, and I was very upset, worried that he would run away, and when he went to work, I took him with me.
Once, I took him to a family to make budding rice stalks, saying that it would be 130 a day. Thinking that I was carrying a patient with me, I was worried that I would do less work, so I started working at half past six. By the time the master's house and a few helpers arrived at 8:30, I had already taken a long place. Unexpectedly, when I spent money in the evening, the host family only gave me 100 yuan.
(After finishing the work, you want to give me less money)
I was anxious: "Didn't you say 130 yuan a day?" Why did you give me 100? The master said arrogantly: "You drag your family, you can't earn a penny from your family, I'll give you 100 a day is good, if you don't pity your mother and your mentally ill husband, I won't give 100." A few other people who were doing the work were also giggling.
I was embarrassed and annoyed: "I don't do less than others, why should you give less money?" No, you have to give me as much as you said before. ”
But the main family didn't give me the 30 yuan, and said triumphantly: "Do you have evidence?" Is there a recording? Has anyone testified against you? Didn't you? If you don't have me, you won't give it, see what you can do with me? ”
Seeing that he was so unreasonable, I found a bag: "Okay, you won't give it to me, will you?" Then I'll take your 30 yuan corn cob to offset the bill. With that, I filled the bag with corn on the cob.
And he came and stopped me, and wouldn't let me pretend. But how could he stop me, I was filling the bag with corn as if I was desperate, and at the same time I said loudly: "You see that I am honest, am I easy to bully?" I'm telling you, honest people also have blood. ”
(Honestly, I'm not afraid)
The lord was frightened by my appearance and did not dare to stop me again. I picked up the bag full of corn and beckoned my husband, who was standing on the sidelines, to come home. Behind the scenes, there was the ridicule of a few working people: "This person is so poor that he can't eat, and he can fight with you for 30 yuan." ”
When I heard this, I felt very aggrieved, but I didn't want to reason with them anymore. I don't understand, isn't it natural that people should do whatever they say?
Actually, it's okay to be a little angry at work, as long as people give money, I don't care, who makes you lack money. It's just that after learning that my husband was sick, some of the neighbors turned out to be okay.
I took him to clean up in the yard when suddenly there was a knock on the door. I opened the door and it was a lady next door. My aunt glanced at me and then looked at my husband in the yard. Then he said: "I am your neighbor, your family is mentally ill, I can't stay here, my old people have been scared of him for the past two days, and I have a headache." ”
I laughed angrily: "Your old man has a headache, what does it have to do with my husband, your old man is in your yard, my husband is in my yard, we don't usually go out, occasionally go out, I always follow." ”
(Me and my "psychotic" husband)
The eldest lady opened her mouth, didn't know what to say, and after a pause, she said to me with a look of thinking about me: "Your husband is mentally ill, aren't you afraid?" I was scared when I looked at it. ”
"My husband is not mentally normal now, but he has never hit anyone, don't come here if you're afraid!" After saying that, I closed the door and was about to continue to work in the yard, but I saw my husband holding his daughter's doll in his hand and looking at me with a puzzled expression.
I came from sorrow, hugged him, and cried: "Get better quickly, once upon a time, you couldn't see others bullying me." But now, for the sake of my livelihood and for your treatment, I am often bullied, can you bear it? "I don't know if he understood my words, but at that moment, he hugged me tightly and didn't push me away.
It may be that there is a way to learn, or it may be that suffering is a catalyst for growth. My daughter, who is a few years old, also learns from me, often helping her dad put on shoes, wash her face, wipe her hands, and sing to her dad, which makes me happy and sad. If I could, I wouldn't want my daughter to be sensible so early!
(Daughter washes her father's face)
This year, I took my husband to the city hospital for a check-up, and the doctor told me that his condition was slowly improving and that he should be able to come to his senses soon. I cried tears of joy, it was the best news since he got sick. This news makes me feel that all the hardships I have endured before are worth it.
Once, I thought that he would always be chaotic, and then I would guard him for the rest of my life. But now, I know that in the near future, my daughter will have a healthy father, and I will have a husband who loves me and cares for me again, and our family may be able to find joy again.
Looking back, I have regrets, regrets that I didn't listen to my parents, and that I regretted blindly opening a barbecue restaurant...... But the reality is that there is everything in life, that is, there is no regret medicine to sell, and you have chosen to bear it, so no matter how bitter it is, even if it is through thick and thin, even if it is kneeling, you must finish it!
Do you think I'm doing the right thing?
(Welcome to the protagonist of this article, "Yueyue's Rural Life")
[Dictation: Chen Yue]
[Editor: Xu Xiaoqin (Double Mermaid)]
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