I think many people will touch their nerves and be shocked when they see this word, especially parents who are fathers and mothers, including me. However, today I want to illustrate the true meaning of "Xueba" and "Xuejun" through two stories...
The first story "My child has a name, he is not called the penultimate student, let alone the worst student"
At a school-informed parent-teacher conference, the whole class and all parents participated in the parent-teacher meeting. As usual, the homeroom teacher went through the motions, and after a few pleasantries and polite greetings, she read them in the order of the test scores from high to low.
At this time, I only heard the head teacher say: please ask the parents of the students with the worst test scores in the class and the first student to come to the stage to speak, as soon as the words fell, the eyes of the students in the class looked at a corner, and the parents also followed the direction to look over, only to see a student with a red face and buried his head very low, and the parent (the child's father) sitting next to him was caressing the child's head with one hand, as if comforting and comforting. So, the father stood up, walked up to the podium very gracefully, took the microphone in the hand of the head teacher and said: Thank you teacher for inviting me to the stage in this way, here I just want to say three words, first, my child has a name, he is not called the worst in the exam, nor is he called the penultimate first; Second, if a teacher has the ability to improve the grades of all children, then even if he is the last, he is not a bad student, let alone the worst student. Thirdly, just because my child has bad grades now does not mean that he is stupid, let alone made any mistakes, it is not heinous, what he needs is encouragement from teachers and parents to help him adjust his learning methods, not as negative teaching materials for publicity. After the parent finished speaking, he stepped off the podium in a dashing manner. The parents in the audience were silent at first, and then burst into thunderous applause, and they all looked at the parent, leaving only the head teacher on the side, whose faces were blue and white for a while, as if they were embarrassed.
Poor grades do not mean poor character, and low scores do not mean low ability; He just did the wrong question, but he didn't do the wrong person; He is just a "scumbag" and not a "scumbag"; He is just unknown on the list, not without a road under his feet. Every child's comprehension ability is uneven, and teachers should give more understanding and help, encouragement and support, rather than using poor students as negative teaching materials to judge and humiliate, every student needs personality and dignity. As a teacher, a teacher, a strong general without a weak soldier, a famous teacher produces a high apprentice, this is really worthy of the title of "teacher"!
The second story is "My "scumbag" son, mother believes in you, you are here to repay the kindness"
I share it in the first person, with the center (he just did the wrong "question" and not the wrong "person")...
I have reflected for a long time, the child's father is a 985 doctor of engineering, I am a 985 master, and I gave birth to a son at the age of 27, the best childbearing age. Pregnancy was something we planned, and we did it all the way through. Nutritional supplementation, folic acid absorption, cold prevention and elimination of all interference from external factors are all done vividly. Eugenics, we have done our best and kept improving!
Sure enough, God lives up to his wishes, the super-standard weight and super-standard length, the son is beautiful and healthy, and the clear and bright eyes are as bright as obsidian, as if filled with endless innocence and mystery, which makes us like treasures and can't put it down...
My husband and I thought that this must be a very smart child. But since he went to elementary school, all our pride was quickly caught off guard by reality, even though we don't want to admit it, but the fact is that the child's grades are not good, and he is slapped in the face in the face of cruelty. In school, there are two types of people that are most easily remembered by teachers: "scholars" and "scumbags".
On weekdays, parents send their children to school, and the parents of the top students are all energetic and high-spirited, and I, who is already in a very superior condition, seems to be a little shorter than others. In order to let my son catch up with his academic performance, I also enrolled him in many tutoring classes, and even hired one-on-one tutors, racking my brains and doing my best to support my child's academic performance. Not only that, during the day, when my children go to school, I also follow the progress of the class, at home in front of various tutorial books and videos, study hard, strive to synchronize with my son's teaching, and come back to tutor my son at night. I carefully analyzed each Chinese text and brushed up on the Olympiad questions. When I was a child, I couldn't understand the "chickens and rabbits in the same cage", "drawer principle", and "number theory" I now feel clearly. Since my son was in elementary school, I have frequently dreamed that I have returned to my childhood, elementary school, middle school, high school and even took the college entrance examination, and when I woke up and saw those books on the bedside table and (Olympiad 100 questions) sighed, this is a posture of taking the college entrance examination again.
However, even so, my son's grades are still not outstanding, and because I increase his weight every day, the child stays up late resulting in lack of sleep, very little outdoor activities, resulting in decreased immunity, frequent colds and fevers, and he has been wearing myopia glasses since the fourth grade. Finally, I had to accept the reality that my children were indeed average. But in fact, he is very obedient, and every time I assign him a study task, he completes it conscientiously.
One summer, I enrolled him in a math and English cram school, and my son took the initiative to say: Mom, add me another Chinese tutoring class, I am afraid of falling behind when the summer vacation is over. At that moment, I felt distressed for a while, my son worked hard and was obedient, but his academic performance was not good, is this to blame him? Along the way, from my experience of studying with him, I must admit that some people are naturally suitable for reading, and some people are not suitable for him. It's like someone is born with the ability to sing, can draw without being taught, and someone can start writing poetry at a few years old, and the "talent" thing does exist. I once read a survey, "scumbag" spent more time on learning than "school bully" spent on studying, for this data, I recognize, especially in junior high school, high school, in fact, everyone wants to learn well, but helplessly, "talent" really has such a thing, it has fulfilled a very small number of people, and at the same time "destroyed" most of the people.
My husband and I finally understood that the two of us who were former scholars really gave birth to a scumbag who was not good at learning! At least for now. Let go of anxiety, let go of your face, let go of the psychology of comparing with others, and you will be much more relaxed. I began to look at my son anew, and I began to think calmly: the meaning of learning. In fact, the meaning of our children's hard work is nothing more than how to survive in the future and realize their own life value and social value. However, my son understands everything, he is hardworking, sensible, kind, and will do an ordinary job in the future, so why worry about not having food? My child, he's not good at math, but he has music that he likes; My child, he doesn't speak English, but he is kind and loving; My child, he is very bad at language, but he knows how to be filial. Although he is not good at studying, he is content to be himself, self-love and love for others, self-respect and respect for others. Isn't treating the people around you with a tolerant and cheerful heart more valuable than academic performance? Everyone aspires to be successful, to be rich and famous, but unfortunately, almost 90% of them still fall into the ordinary.
Ever since our children read books, we have always been accustomed to measuring a child's good or bad by the only criterion of "learning", which is not right. A child is a flower that blooms slowly and gradually, how can it be evaluated so singlely? We should not despise the ordinary, on the contrary, we should gladly accept the ordinary, if we can be content with the ordinary, healthy and happy to do our own work, do not violate their own conscience, do not violate their own principles, blossom and bear fruit on time, take every step of life steadily, and grow old safely, I think this is actually the most successful life model.
Children rely on their own self-support, even if it is a cook, a courier, a security guard, after doing their own work, return to their own warm home, be a considerate husband, a responsible father, when there is something at home, he can be patient in the moment, just grow up, grow old, this is actually the future that parents expect their children to have the most!
After the article is shared, I don't know what you think? I remember that Liang Xiaosheng, the author of (The World), once said: If a child is an ordinary person, then he will be happy; If it's outstanding, let it fly. Accept the mediocrity of children, just like children never ask their parents to be how good they must be, not only to cultivate children who go to Tsinghua University and Peking University, is the success of parents, see the child's advantages, give full play to his strengths, and also be the winner of success, do you agree?