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I'm Zhao Li, 35 years old, working as a project manager in an IT company. My husband Zhang Wei and I have been married for 3 years, and there have been some problems in our married life. When we got married, we listened to our mother's words and decided to implement the AA system in the marriage, which made our lives more independent. But lately, I've noticed that we're getting more and more at odds with each other over money.
Three years ago, when we got married, my mother told us firmly: "You young people must learn to be self-reliant, marriage is a matter of two people, and the AA system is the most reasonable." "At the time, we readily agreed, thinking that it would allow both sides to remain independent and not quarrel over money. But over time, I've come to realize that this approach has created a lot of challenges for our relationship.
Zhang Wei is a down-to-earth and hard-working person, in 3 years, he has saved 120,000 yuan through hard work, while I am also very hard at work, but the income is relatively low. Recently, I needed a higher performance computer for my job, and I wanted to buy a new one, but the price was really expensive, so I had to choose to pay in installments. This made me feel uneasy: Zhang Wei had savings, but he didn't offer to help me solve the problem. This made me doubt our marital relationship.
Tonight, after dinner, I plucked up the courage to talk to Zhang Wei. I found an opportunity to let my son play in the room, and Zhang Wei and I sat on the sofa in the living room.
"Zhang Wei, I have made some progress in my work recently, and I want to buy a new computer, but I need to pay in installments." I started cautiously.
Zhang Wei frowned, looked at me and said, "Why didn't you discuss it with me earlier?" You know that we are all responsible for each other's economy. ”
I know this is what we have always agreed, but at this moment, I hope Zhang Wei can give me some help. "Don't you think the economy between us should be a little more flexible? After all, we are husband and wife. ”
Zhang Wei was silent for a moment, as if thinking about my words. Eventually, he whispered, "Our agreement is clear. You have your own income and should bear these expenses yourself. ”
I was a little disappointed by his indifference. "Don't you think we can talk about it? I just need a little help. ”
Zhang Wei stuck to his position: "Our AA system makes us independent, do you want to change that? ”
I sighed, feeling the distance between us seeming to grow farther and farther apart. The dialogue failed to find common ground, and our conversation reached an impasse.
Looking at Zhang Wei's firm position, I felt an indescribable loss in my heart. But I decided not to give up trying to communicate, because if our married life continued to be at such a stalemate, it would only exacerbate the conflict.
"Zhang Wei, I understand our agreement, but in marriage, sometimes we need to be more flexible. We should not follow the rules completely rigidly, but adjust them according to the actual situation. I tried to continue in a more conciliatory tone.
When Zhang Wei heard my words, there was a hint of hesitation in his eyes. He frowned, as if thinking. But will it affect our independence? We were all used to dealing with our own financial problems. ”
"I know you value our independence, and I've always followed that," I continued, "but we're husband and wife, and we should support each other in critical moments, especially when one of us is in trouble." Besides, I need this computer to be more productive, which will also help us in our future lives. ”
Zhang Wei finally nodded, but the expression on his face was still a little uneasy. "Well, I see what you mean. However, such changes require both of us to be open and honest. We should also make some new rules to ensure that both partners can maintain some independence in their marriage. ”
I felt a sense of relief in my heart, at least Zhang Wei was willing to discuss this issue. "So what can we do? I'd love to hear from you. ”
"Maybe we can try a new way, such as borrowing from each other when we need to, but having a repayment plan that helps each other and keeps us separate." Zhang Wei proposed a compromise solution.
"That sounds like a good idea," I nodded in agreement, "so that we can support each other when we need to, without completely upsetting the balance." ”
"Then we can give this option a try," Zhang continued, "but make sure that both parties abide by the agreement and cannot default on the repayment, otherwise it will affect our relationship." ”
"I couldn't agree more," I agreed, "so that we can both find a better balance in our marriage." ”
After this conversation, I feel that the communication between us has become much smoother. Despite the challenges encountered in the marriage, problems can always find a solution as long as both partners are willing to communicate openly and honestly. In the days that followed, we began to experiment with new ways of doing things, hoping that this would make our married life more harmonious.
The new economic approach has allowed us to find some new balance in our married life, but with it comes some new challenges. In order to ensure that our mutual agreement is respected, we have set some rules, such as being clear about when and how to repay when borrowing, and keeping communication between both parties. However, life doesn't always go according to plan, and sometimes something unexpected happens.
One night, Zhang Wei came back from work with obvious exhaustion on his face. I poured him a glass of water, and seeing that he was a little absent-minded, I took the initiative to ask: "Zhang Wei, how is your work today?" ”
"There's nothing wrong with the work," he barely managed to squeeze out a smile, "it's just that the company has recently started to adjust the project, and our team has to do some restructuring, which makes me feel a little stressed." ”
"And what do you need me to do?" I asked with concern.
"It's fine at the moment, but there may be some uncertainty that could affect my income." He said frankly.
When I heard that, I was a little nervous. Our economy is already a bit strained, and if Zhang Wei's income is affected, then we may face more pressure.
"So what are we going to do?" I asked.
"I'm thinking about some other sources of income, maybe looking for some part-time jobs or other opportunities." Zhang Wei said with a frown.
I nodded, trying to comfort him: "Anyway, I will support your decision." Let's face it together, don't let this stress you too much. ”
"Thank you for your understanding," Zhang Wei looked at me with a hint of gratitude in his eyes, "Sometimes I'm really glad to have you by my side, which makes me feel like I'm not alone in facing this." ”
This sentence made me feel that the relationship between us had returned to the original warmth. Although we still face some challenges economically, I believe that as long as we are united, all problems can be solved.
Over the next few days, we began to plan our spending more carefully, while also looking for some additional revenue opportunities. I also try to work harder and harder, hoping to increase my income by improving my performance. At the same time, we also learned to communicate more, support each other, and make sure that the other person knows that we are not alone.
On days like these, our married life gradually becomes more robust, and although there are still some minor issues that need to be resolved, we know that the emotional bond between us is more important than any money issue. We strive to maintain this precious relationship, find a new balance, and make our married life happier.
Although our married life has gradually become more stable, Zhang Wei's changes in work and my professional pressure still make us anxious and nervous from time to time. In particular, Zhang Wei's work brings a lot of uncertainty, which makes us feel a little tired. However, we strive to maintain a balance through communication and cooperation.
One night, Zhang Wei came home from work and looked extremely tired. I prepared him a glass of warm milk to relax him. He drank milk and shared his days with me.
"Lily, the company has another emergency meeting today," Zhang Wei said, rubbing his brows, "We may have to adjust the direction of the project, which will affect my work." ”
I looked at Zhang Wei's tired appearance, and my heart was full of distress. "And what are you going to do next?" I asked with concern.
"It's not clear yet, but my team may go through some adjustments and the workload may increase." Zhang Wei smiled helplessly.
"It's a lot of pressure on you." I stood up, walked over to his side, and gently shook his hand.
"yes, but I'll find a way to adjust myself." Zhang Wei looked at me, a hint of determination flashed in his eyes, "I won't let this matter affect us." ”
"You've always been strong," I encouraged him, "but don't forget, you can count on me too." I'll do my best to help you out. ”
Zhang Wei nodded, "Thank you, Lily, you are always so considerate." I will try to adjust my mindset so that my work does not affect our lives. ”
That night, we decided to work together on a new plan to meet the challenges of this time. We've realigned our family budgets to reduce some of our unnecessary expenses. At the same time, I also strive for more opportunities at work to ensure that my income can support our lives.
Although Zhang's job is still uncertain, he began to try some part-time jobs in his free time, such as providing technical consulting online or helping friends with small projects. This has given him a certain amount of income supplementation and made us feel more at ease about the future.
During this time, communication between us becomes even more important. We have learned to share when we encounter problems, comfort each other, and face them together. Although life doesn't always go easy, we know that as long as we work together, there are no problems that cannot be overcome.
The challenges of this time have made our marriage more mature and solid. Although the stresses of life make us feel tired at times, we know that as long as we work together and face them together, these difficulties will eventually pass.
Despite the challenges, we are trying to cope with them, but there are also moments of warmth and joy in our lives. After a period of running-in, our marriage gradually returned to stability. We learned to deal better with economic issues, support each other and maintain good communication.
One weekend, Zhang Wei proposed to take my son and me for a walk in the park to relax. I readily agree that this kind of leisure time is very precious to us. Armed with simple picnic food and blankets, we set off to a nearby park.
The weather in the park is sunny and breezy with a light breeze. We spread out blankets on the lawn and let our son play on the side. Zhang Wei and I sat together and watched my son run around happily.
"Lily," Zhang Wei looked at me with a smile, "the recent work adjustments have made us all very hard, but we still have to maintain a positive attitude. ”
"yes," I nodded, "but these difficulties make me cherish our time together even more." ”
"You're right," Zhang Wei took a deep breath and a relaxed smile appeared on his face, "With you by my side, everything becomes a little easier. ”
We shared some updates on our work and had a lot of fun talking. Before we knew it, my son joined us in the conversation, and he enthusiastically described the interesting things that happened at school, which added a sense of relaxation and joy to our conversation.
"Mom and Dad, can you come to school next time to watch me compete?" The son asked expectantly.
"Absolutely!" Zhang Wei immediately responded, "We will definitely go and cheer you on!" ”
I nodded in agreement, "yes, we'll definitely support you." ”
My son smiled excitedly when he heard our response. He jumped back and continued to play, leaving Zhang Wei and I to continue chatting.
"Lily," Zhang Wei suddenly became serious, "I've been wondering lately, should we reimagine our future?" For example, consider some investment or savings plan to prepare for our son's education or our retirement. ”
I nodded, "That's a good offer." We can find time to look into it together and see which options are best for us. ”
"Okay, I'll do some research and find something that works for us." Zhang Wei responded.
That time in the park gave us hope for the future. Although there are still challenges in life, we have learned to cope better and cherish every moment we spend together. Through joint planning and efforts, we are full of confidence and expectation for the future.
In the days ahead, we will continue to support each other as we face life's challenges together and make better plans for the future. No matter what the future holds, we will walk hand in hand to create a better tomorrow for our little family.
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