Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
Some people say that marriage is the "grave" of love. But in fact, this sentence is only half true.
Marriage, more like a mirror of love, can often find out the truest emotions of two people.
So, whether husband and wife are really in love, what do you see?
Actually, just look at a little bit, it depends on how they deal with each other's differences and conflicts.
01
Differences are actually a problem that every couple faces.
From personality to habits, from hobbies to values, no couple is exactly the same.
These differences may be just small fights in normal times, but once they encounter major problems, they may become the "fuse" of contradictions.
Leizi and Meimei are a couple who seem to be in love.
Lei Zi is a rational and pragmatic person, while Mei Mei is more emotional and romantic. Usually, the two often quarrel over some trivial matters.
For example, Lei Zi thinks that the decoration of the home should be practical, while Meimei prefers that the home is full of romance.
These little things may seem insignificant, but they are actually a test of their feelings. Every argument is a test of how they deal with each other's differences.
At one point, the two had a disagreement over where to travel.
Leizi wants to go to a small mountain village with beautiful scenery, while Meimei wants to go to an ancient city full of history. The two have their own opinions and do not give in to each other.
At this point, how do they deal with the differences? Do you choose the Cold War, escape, or sit down and communicate?
Luckily, they chose the latter. The two sat down and calmly expressed their thoughts and needs.
"I think the natural beauty of the mountain village is relaxing, and the air there is good," Reiko said. ”
Mei Mei's idea was: "I want to go to the ancient city because I am interested in history and want to know more. ”
Through communication, they found that each other's needs were not contradictory.
So, they decided to go to the mountain village to experience the beauty of nature first, and then go to the ancient city to explore the traces of history.
This trip not only strengthened their relationship, but also taught them how to deal with "differences".
02
In fact, this is the secret of a loving couple: when faced with differences and conflicts, instead of choosing to escape or confront, choose to understand and accept.
Because, everyone has their own ideas and needs, and these deserve to be respected and understood.
As the French writer Moloya said: "In a truly happy marriage, friendship must be fused with love." ”
A truly loving couple must have both the sweetness of love and the tolerance and understanding of friendship.
They will not be worried about some trivial things, but are willing to compromise and back down for the sake of each other.
Da Yang and Ming Hui are a couple who have been married for many years.
Dayang is an acute child, but Minghui is a chronic child. Usually, Da Yang always dislikes Minghui for procrastinating, but Minghui thinks Da Yang is too impatient. Despite this, their relationship has always been good.
Once, there was a guest at home, and Dayang wanted Minghui to prepare a meal quickly. But Minghui followed her own pace, slow and not in a hurry at all.
Although Dayang was anxious, he didn't lose his temper like before. He chose to wait patiently and took the initiative to help Minghui.
This time, Dayang's handling made Minghui feel very warm, she felt Dayang's tolerance and understanding, and cherished this feeling even more.
Since then, she has started to try to change her personality and try to keep up with Dayang's rhythm.
And this is the tacit understanding and tolerance between loving couples.
They understand that everyone has their own rhythm and style, and as long as they understand and support each other, nothing else matters.
Therefore, judging whether a couple is truly affectionate is not based on how sweet they usually are, but on whether they can understand and support each other in the face of differences and conflicts.
As long as this is done, then their feelings will definitely be able to stand the test of time.
It is often said that "love requires both parties to work together and work hard to bloom the most beautiful flowers." ”
May every couple respect each other's uniqueness, love, communicate, and understand with their hearts. Then feelings can be as beautiful and lasting as blooming flowers.