1: I took the elevator today, the elevator door opened and I found a couple hugging passionately and kissing, I stopped immediately after finding someone, pretending to look at the elevator poster, I stared at the elevator camera calmly and calmly for five seconds, the couple looked at me along the line of sight, and instantly blushed!
2: My brother's wife loves to play mahjong, and once I yelled at home when I lost money, and I didn't play anymore, and I chopped my hands when I was playing. The son next to him who was watching TV didn't look back and said, just your mahjong addiction, the thousand-armed Guanyin can make you chop Yang Guo......
3: Yesterday after dinner, I sat on the stone bench in the square and watched the square dance, and my aunt took a Labrador to sit next to me. I said to my aunt, "This dog is good, Labrador." Aunt smiled: "It doesn't pull much." Me: "I said the dog was a Labrador." Auntie: "Just pull it once a day, not much." Me: "......"
4: I just went out, and I saw a girl in a short skirt and a low-cut dress in front of me, playing with her mobile phone while walking, girl, there is a ditch in front of you, it's very deep. The girl covered her chest and said, "Hooligans!" And then, then, and then she fell into the ditch, why are you saying that the most basic communication between people is so difficult.
5: One day, I took my second girlfriend to meet my parents, and I was shy and embarrassed to speak when I first entered the door. Dad silently said to his girlfriend, if our kid bullies you and tells me in the future, I will clean him up. The girlfriend nodded shyly. During the meal, the girlfriend pretended to be reserved and didn't eat vegetables, the father said, girl, just order, treat it as your own home, come, drink some wine, the girlfriend nodded shyly, after three rounds of drinking, the girlfriend let go, and the father drank while punching, and finally picked up the wine glass and stood on the wine table with one foot and said to the father, brother, don't worry, no one dares to bully your son with me............
6: A colleague and a woman go on a blind date, the two keep in touch, every time the woman calls, there is no topic to talk about less than two sentences, but his mother has to ask a lot of questions every time, and then the two have a good chat. Finally one day, she called again, and after her colleague picked it up, she came directly: "Mom, your phone!"
7: On the night of the breakup, she drank too much, and her boyfriend hugged her to the car, and finally said: "Cherish". She felt that he still loved her, and she had been looking forward to this reconciliation with him. Until one day ... His boyfriend's friend told him that what he said that day was actually "really heavy"...
8: Yesterday my wife got burned while cooking. Me: Didn't you use toothpaste? My wife replied: I have eaten half a tube, and it is useless!
9: I have been discovering the secret of my wife's money hiding in the boots of the shoe cabinet for a long time, and I will touch one or two every month as pocket money, until yesterday I reached out and grabbed a small cactus ball in it, and I knew it was time to stop......
10: Husband: "What will you do if I die one day?"
Daughter-in-law: "As usual, I sleep, eat, and go shopping with my girlfriends." And what if I'm dead?"
Husband: "Just like you, eat with your girlfriends, go shopping, and sleep.