introduction
In the past, the old people basically put all their efforts on cultivating children, and they worried about their children for a lifetime, and they still worried about this and that in their old age, they couldn't stop.
However, with the development and progress of the times, many old people live more transparently, they understand that their children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, and excessive efforts to help their children, or even spoil their children, will eventually produce bad results, and their later life is very painful and busy.
Therefore, the elderly in the new era, they will pay more attention to their own feelings and understand that life is ultimately for themselves.
People over 60 are the smartest way to live: decisively refuse the 3 requests of their children, no matter how good the relationship is
01. Refuse to be a "24-hour" full-time nanny for children.
Now some elderly people are obviously retired, but they are still required by their children to be 24-hour "full-time nannies".
Because many young people nowadays have a lot of financial pressure, have mortgages and car loans, husbands and wives have to go to work, and after giving birth, if they don't have the financial strength to ask for a sister-in-law or nanny, they can only ask their retired parents to help bring it.
As elders, it is reasonable for us to help our children appropriately, but we must refuse to be a 24-hour full-time nanny for our children, because it is a thankless job and very damaging to the body.
Some elderly people have to help their children take care of the baby 24 hours a day, feed the baby during the day, change diapers, get up in the middle of the night to feed, coax the baby to sleep, and take the child all day long, completely without their own personal leisure time. Sometimes there are some problems with the baby, and the children and daughters-in-law complain and blame, really
Other old people have eaten dinner, can go out to drink tea, dance square dance, take the baby to walk the baby, or help wash the dishes, mop the floor and wash clothes, busy until late at night to sleep, although retired, but busier than when at work.
02. Don't use all the money to help your children, or help your children pay off their debts.
Some parents love their children very much, and they are responsive to whatever their children ask, and they also vigorously support their children financially, and some people even directly take out all their savings to help their children.
A relative, after graduating from his bachelor's degree, works in Tianhe District, Guangzhou, with a salary of five or six thousand yuan a month, rents a house to eat, and basically has no money left every month.
I have worked for five or six years, and I basically rarely send money home, the money to buy a house in Foshan is also the down payment that my parents helped to make, and when I am going to get married, the bride price is not enough, and my parents help to pay for the wedding, and the wedding expenses are arranged by my parents, who emptied all their savings, and even borrowed some money from relatives and friends.
My relative was very frugal in life, and he had saved some savings over the years, but basically all of them were contributed to his children, and he was very passive in his later years, and he had to work as a security guard and a cleaner in his 60s, working eight or nine hours a day, which was very hard.
Although it is said that the children have settled in the big city, but the son is just enough to live outside, and the income has declined in the past few years, and he is also struggling to support, if there are no better job opportunities in the big city, they are considering returning to their hometown.
03. If conditions permit, try not to live with your children, daughter-in-law, and son-in-law.
After people are over 60 years old, they still try not to live with their children, daughters-in-law or sons-in-law if they have the conditions, why do you say that?
Because there is a saying - the parents' home is always the child's home, but the child's home is not necessarily the parents' home.
Moreover, as elders, we live with young people, and there are many very different concepts of life.
Young people, of course, have some new ideas that we may think are unreasonable, and we, as the older generation, have some practices that they cannot understand in the eyes of young people.
Therefore, living together, there will definitely be a lot of contradictions and frictions, which will definitely affect the relationship between each other, so if conditions permit, as an old man, we still have our own house to live in, which is the best.
The house doesn't need to be too big, even the old house in the countryside can be cleaned up and tidy, and the old couple can live comfortably, without complication, and enjoy a simple retirement life.