How childlike is the child?
@佳佳 My son is very skinny, and my mother-in-law always said that the child is so skinned, it belongs to a donkey. When I was three years old and went to kindergarten, the teacher asked me to introduce myself, and my son said, "Hello everyone, my name is ×××, and I belong to a donkey."
@小于 took her daughter to her cousin's wedding last weekend, and the host asked her to go up and ask a few questions in order to liven up the atmosphere. The host said, "Little friend, do you say the bride is beautiful?" The daughter said loudly: "Beautiful!" The host asked again: "Is the bridegroom handsome?" The daughter said loudly: "Not handsome, my mother said she looks like a monkey!"
@一朵 My daughter, I give her five dollars a week for pocket money. One day she wanted to buy a small toy and didn't have enough money, and wanted me to give more money, but I refused, so she ran to his dad and said, "Dad, how good it would be if you had 8 wives, one wife would give me 5 yuan, and 8 wives could give me 40 yuan." My husband's face turned green on the spot.
@天一 Sleep with my girl. The girl said, "Mother, you must sleep with me until you are a hundred years old." I said, "When you're 100 years old, your mother will be gone." Girl: "No, I'm 100 years old, you're 200 years old, I'm the little Wangba, you're the eldest Wangba, and my grandparents are the old Wangba...... "Fortunately, my parents are not around."
@阿花 took my five-year-old daughter to line up in front of the park playground to buy tickets, there were a lot of people, and I was going to take out my mobile phone to look at it for a while, but I took out a pack of sanitary napkins, and my sharp-eyed daughter saw it and immediately said loudly: "Mom, you are so ashamed, you still use diapers when you are so old!"
……
The child's innocence is to make you feel at a loss, and you can't rush up and cover your mouth immediately.
If you tell him that children can't talk nonsense, he will scold you: "Didn't you say that children should be honest and not deceive?"
You pretend to be confused, and you don't know what he will say in the next sentence, so that you will die on the spot, what should you do?
1. Blame or encouragement?
Normally, most parents will blame their children and shut up their children's unscrupulous words.
The consequence of this practice may be: the child gradually feels that no matter what he says, he becomes silent, or even silent, and does not dare to express his opinions easily, only promises, loses his original self-confidence and confidence, or feels that telling the truth will be scolded, which affects the establishment of children's values.
The other type of parents encourages their children to tell the truth, not to be afraid of offending others, especially when they encounter something wrong or they are bullied, they must stand up bravely to defend themselves, and don't endure everything.
Which of these two approaches is better?
When children are young, they will not hesitate to point out things they don't like, such as others cutting in line, breaking rules, etc. But if this courage is always suppressed or stifled, then the child is likely to grow up to become stoic and lack self-confidence and courage.
On the contrary, if parents can take care of their children when they are young and encourage them to try bravely again and again, then this courage and perseverance will take root in the children's hearts like seeds, and gradually grow into a strong sense of strength, so that they can face the challenges of life more bravely.
For example, there is a girl who is allergic to the smell of smoke, but she always smokes when guests come to the house, and the mother asks the child to endure it, saying that she can't hurt the face of the guest, causing the girl to suffer from chronic cough.
There is also a girl who is also allergic to the smell of smoke, and when a guest comes to the house, her mother will directly tell the guest that our family is a smoke-free family and cannot smoke at home. Guests will be uncomfortable at first, but after a long time, they will know that they are not allowed to smoke in their house, and gradually they will get used to it.
And the mother not only does it herself, but also teaches her children to be bold and stop it if someone smokes in public.
Therefore, allowing children to dare to speak the truth, in some ways, is actually cultivating children's ability to protect themselves.
2. What to do at the scene of large-scale social deaths
Of course, children's childlike words may also make adults fall into the situation of social death, so how should parents deal with it?
First of all, parents should be emotionally stable and resolve the embarrassment by changing the topic.
When children are young, they are open-mouthed, which is not a shortcoming, but a kind of their nature. As parents, we must not only protect our children's nature, but also tell our children in which situations some ideas should be expressed tactfully.
For example, if you take your child to a friend's house as a guest, and the child bluntly dislikes the food cooked by the friend, you should not be in a hurry to scold the child, because the child does not know what he has done wrong, but just expresses his thoughts truthfully.
You can change the subject first, and when you get home, then tell your child: "Auntie's cooking may not be so delicious, but do you know that it is something that Auntie knows you are going to and has learned it for a long time, so even if it is not delicious, we have to thank Auntie for her hard work." ”
Secondly, parents should pay attention to the tone of their speech when they usually speak.
Children learn the habit of speaking from their parents. Therefore, parents should be careful when talking at home, and do not always speak to their children in a commanding, forceful, and disrespectful tone and attitude.
Don't think that children don't understand, say other people's bad in front of children, although children may not understand what you are saying, but they are high-quality repeaters, can repeat your words to others word for word.
Third, parents can give their children encouraging and affirming glances when they fight for their rights and dignity.
The sense of power is built little by little, and if the child has had a successful experience of maintaining himself, a little bit of strength will accumulate in his heart.
For example, when others occupy their place when they are in the car, when their toys are snatched away, when their behavior is ridiculed, etc., children should not become soft persimmons that can be manipulated by others, but should bravely fight for their own rights. In this process, an encouraging look from an adult is enough to give a child a sense of strength. When a child is strong enough, he will be able to judge the situation and strive for the best in his own interests.
But it is also important to note that when children encounter those who misbehave, they must first ensure their own safety, for example, if the child is alone and isolated at this time, then do not rush to be a hero, but seek help from adults first.