-01
The best way to avoid rotten people: stay away from the "low places"
The lower you stand, the more rotten people there are;
The worse and worse the environment you are in, the more complex the human nature you experience;
The more disorderly, or where few people follow the rules, the greater the risk for you.
Why do some people always say that "the poor countryside comes out of the people"?
Because in this place, the rules are useless, they believe in their own "rules";
Principles don't work, they will do something reckless in order to satisfy their desires, needs and face.
For example:
When you grow up and live in this environment, you will find that many people are more "angry".
If you don't agree, you can't wait to fight;
A little trivial thing will be magnified several times;
You accidentally touch the other person's shoulder while walking, even if you apologize, it's useless, the other party wants to pull your collar and give you a "saliva meal".
Even if you haven't done anything wrong, you're just looking good, you're dressed in fashion, or you're living on a higher income, you'll be jealous and slandered by those around you.
And this jealousy is undisguised.
The way they look at you is full of doubt, scrutiny, and malice.
Dealing with these people every day, "internal friction" alone can drag you down;
Someone is looking for fault with you today, someone will slander you tomorrow, and someone will target you the day after tomorrow......
Isn't it a big head when you think about it?
The best way to stay away from bad people is for you to try to get out of the bad circle;
The further you go, the better the scenery, although there will be a bad side of humanity, but at least everyone can get by.
Even if there is, it is a high-end gameplay, not an arrogant and unreasonable "I am weak and I am reasonable" posture.
At the very least, standing on the top of the mountain, you can "reason" with others, and most people follow the rules.
In a nutshell:
When you feel that the energy of the people around you is too low, constantly eating away at your energy and emotions, then it is time for you to change the environment.
-02
The better you live, the more people are "jealous of you"
Have you ever heard of the "crab effect"?
When there is only one crab in the basket, it can easily climb out of the basket;
When you put a lot of crabs in the back basket, it will be difficult for those crabs to climb out.
Why?
Because these crabs will step on each other and pull each other, and no one will want to be the first to climb up.
Think about it, is this a hint of humanity?
"If you want to go up, I can only go up by myself, and none of you can go up, and if everyone wants to go up, then don't go up."
"Since I can't get it, then everyone should not think about it, and only when I get it can we consider whether to let you get it."
Among the weaknesses of human nature, jealousy is on the list.
When you are all poor, you are good friends, and it doesn't matter how you laugh on weekdays;
The better you go, the richer you get, the more you find the people around you either alienating you or targeting you.
The collapse of the relationship between people begins with the "widening of the gap".
"What's more sad than slapping him is seeing you get better and better."
There are 2 best ways to avoid jealousy.
Either you are doing exceptionally well and standing in a position where others can only look up to you, and then envy turns into envy.
Either you are low-key and cautious, your wealth is not exposed, and you always cry poor in front of outsiders.
-03
Anyone who makes you "internal friction" must stay away decisively
Whether it's your parents, your lover or your friends and colleagues.
There is a concept in social psychology called the interpersonal triangle theory.
In social relationships, everyone has three basic needs: "the need for tolerance, the need for domination, and the need for emotion".
If you are in the other person, in the current circle, these self-needs are never satisfied, what does it mean?
Either the people around you will always make you fall into internal friction, or you will close yourself off.
If, for a considerable period of time, the people around you make you unhappy;
At this time, please don't hesitate to jump out decisively.
"Living with people who are not good at living is like entering the abalone, and you will not smell its smell for a long time."
The one who is close to Zhu is red, and the one who is close to ink is black, which is the environment that affects people;
Internal friction anxiety, lack of energy, which is the relationship that affects people.
The more negative, weak, and internal friction there are around you, the easier it is to drag you down.
-04
Social Relationship Formula
Social behaviour = latent expectation + reinforcement valence.
In a nutshell:
What does the attitude of others towards you and their relationship with you depend on?
Your own value, your leverage, and what is the greatest value you can provide to them.
You have a lot of resources, but if you can't beat them, then he won't intersect with you;
You have the resources and meet his psychological expectations to provide him with great value.
At this time, he will deliberately approach you, please you, and have a good relationship with you.
What is the essence of socializing?
When you have enough, you have the right to speak;
When you have nothing, even if you shout at the top of your voice, few people are willing to listen to you and empathize with you.
This also tells you:
Don't put expectations and hopes on unrealistic connections;
Connections are real when you have them, and fake connections when you don't.
Topic:
What truths have you learned when dealing with people?
Author He Suohuan:
Focus on the analysis of gender emotion, marriage and family, character growth, original family, etc., follow me to bring you more knowledge.