Hello everyone, I am the family education instructor Guo Ma~
As a child, do you think you are filial?
As a parent, do you feel that your children are filial?
When many parents look at their children, they always have a "halo" and feel that their children are good everywhere.
However, these "invisible unfilial piety" may only be visible to outsiders.
Hopefully, we won't be such children.
Hopefully, your children won't be like that.
"Invisible unfilial piety" is quietly popular, and parents are still kept in the dark, praising their children's talents
The so-called "invisible unfilial piety" is the behavior of not being filial to one's parents but not being filial to one's parents.
Although it is said that raising children is not to prevent old age.
However, as children, we should no longer let our parents live a miserable old age.
Do you have the following kinds of "unfilial piety" in your family?
Don't give pension money, but also gnaw at the old
A neighbor of Guo's mother, their son works in Shanghai, and his parents are very proud of their son, and they praise how good their son is: he graduated from a bachelor's degree, has a salary of tens of thousands in Shanghai, has bought a BMW, and has a house......
Every time the neighbor's son goes back to his hometown, he will invite his relatives to come to the house for dinner, and the scene is very grand, and it also seems that his son is very good at giving him a long face.
However, these superficial scenery really can't stand scrutiny.
The boy's BMW was indeed bought by himself, but he had to repay the loan every month, but the down payment for the house was exchanged for all the belongings of his parents in this life;
The boy's salary of more than 10,000 yuan, to be honest, feels good in third- and fourth-tier cities, but in Shanghai, it is really not enough to see, and there is not much left after paying off the mortgage and car loan, and naturally there is no pension money for his parents.
In general, the rich children and the poor parents.
Behind the seemingly worry-free life, it is the parents who provide for it.
The point is that the boy didn't care about his parents' difficulties at all, and the last time he went home, he asked his parents to give a bride price of 500,000 yuan.
Where do the old couple have money?
It's just that even so, the old couple praised their son for his ability, found a beautiful girlfriend, and worked in Shanghai together. It's just that the old couple is not angry, and they failed to save the bride price money for their son.
The old couple really gave everything they had for their son, but what about the son?
Don't give pension money, for your own comfortable life, gnaw at the old, such "unfilial piety" is really uncommon!
Sometimes traveling, dining, and not having time to "go home often"
is also an old couple in the village, both of whom are close to 90 years old, but Guo's mother has seen their family since she was a child, and the number of times she has seen their family can really be counted on two hands.
The old couple raised a son and a daughter, and both settled in other places.
The old couple raised a lot of flowers, and when they were young, they often went to their house to pick flowers, and at that time they often showed us the paintings of their little grandsons, saying how good their children and grandchildren were.
Some time ago, I said that there are many places where my children and grandchildren go, and they are traveling all over the world and all over the country, and they have money and leisure.
In terms of money, the old couple's children really gave a lot, and they also paid for the renovation of the old house.
But in terms of companionship, the children and grandchildren of the old couple, even if they often travel, rarely go back to their hometown to see them.
In total, sometimes I only come back once every 2 or 3 years.
Gu You: Parents are here, not far away.
Nowadays, the transportation is more developed, the means of transportation are more convenient, and the children grow up and start to soar with their wings.
It's just that many children seem to have forgotten the way home.
Giving money to the elderly can ensure the material life of the elderly in old age.
However, the old man also looks forward to spiritual satisfaction.
In the song "Always Go Home to See", there is such a lyric: Always go home to see, my mother prepared some nagging, and my father put together a good meal.
This is the norm of a family, and the parents eat and dress very simply on weekdays, but when the children come back, the food and clothing are very grand, why?
They miss their children.
Even if we have become adults, have our own children, have become independent, and have our own families, we are still their children, and we are the children they have brought up and have infinite thoughts.
If you have time, but you don't go back to see your parents, even if you give more money, it is also an "invisible unfilial piety".
The baby born by himself is not only brought by the elderly, but also by the elderly
That's too much!
First of all, it is undeniable that no matter who takes the baby, they have to take the responsibility of taking the baby.
But this does not mean that whoever takes the baby, this responsibility can only be this person's.
Some time ago, when I picked up my child at the entrance of the kindergarten, an old man complained about his daughter-in-law: My daughter-in-law came back, and the eldest in the third grade had not finished her homework, so she blamed me for not urging the child to do his homework.
The old man was very aggrieved, he had to pick up the second child, and he had to pick up the eldest child, and he had to be busy with dinner and housework when he came back.
In addition, she is a grandmother, and the eldest and second are not afraid at all, so she can't control it at all. Even if the child has homework to complete, the grandmother does not know, and she does not know what to do, and she does not know if she is deceived by the child.
The old man came to help take care of the baby, and Guo's mother felt that it was already very good to be able to do the housework well and the children to be full.
Their age, their experience, and their seniority may not be able to give children a good education and guidance.
These should be done by parents.
Guo's mother has always felt that there is no need to be too clear in the division of labor in the matter of raising a baby, but she must be clear about her responsibilities as a parent.
It is love for the elderly to take a baby, how difficult it is to bring a baby alone, ask full-time mothers to know. If you ask too much of the elderly at this time, it is really a bit inappropriate.
Parents still can't completely let go of these things such as educating children and high-quality parent-child companionship, and have to do it themselves.
If you don't raise children, you will lose them all to the elderly, and you will blame the old people for not doing well enough, which is also a kind of "invisible unfilial piety"!
Written at the end of the article
Adults, there is no such thing as easy.
However, "not easy" is not an excuse for us to be "unfilial".
It is not easy for our parents to give birth to us, so what qualifications do we have, and then throw the "not easy" to our parents?
勿以不孝身,枉着人子皮。