I'm a very ordinary middle-aged person, 45 years old, working in an ordinary job in a small company. Life is monotonous and repetitive, going to and from work every day, and repeating the cycle. But I have one special person in my life, and that is my 76-year-old mother.
My relationship with my mother has always been very close, and since my father's death, I have become the closest person to her in the world. It's a pity that in recent years, our relationship has been somewhat estranged and estranged.
My mother is a typical traditional Chinese old man, who is stubborn and respectful. She would rather endure hardship than ask for help. Since her father's death, she has lived a life of poverty alone.
My biggest concern was my mother's deterioration. Her legs and feet were starting to get worse, and it was hard to go up and down the stairs. But she stubbornly refused to move into a nursing home, on the grounds that "entering a nursing home is equivalent to being abandoned by you".
Every time I visited my mother and saw her living alone in that small, dark house, my heart became heavier.
It was a Friday, and I was staring at a computer screen in my office and suddenly felt tired. The pressure of work is getting more and more intense, and I haven't been with my mother for a long time. The thought of my mother being alone at home filled my heart with guilt and self-blame.
That's when I made up my mind that I would definitely take time out to visit my mother on the weekends.
Early Saturday morning, I drove to my mother's little house. When I opened the door, I was greeted by an old, musty smell. Mother's little house was dark and damp, full of dust that she hadn't had time to clean.
I found my mother in the cramped living room, sitting on a shabby wicker chair, her face pale and her eyes dull. When she saw me enter the door, her eyes lit up a little.
"Mom, how are you doing?" I asked with concern.
The mother did not answer, but nodded faintly, without the slightest smile on her face.
I sat down across from my mother, and there was silence between the two of them. I didn't know where to start, so I had to make small talk about trivial matters.
"Mom, you're in such a bad place to live," I finally mustered up the courage to say, "or else...... Why don't you move to a nursing home, where it's comfortable and there's someone to take care of ......you?"
"What did you say?" The mother's eyes widened, and her face was full of anger, "Are you going to throw me into a nursing home?
"No, it's not like that, Mom......" I quickly explained, "I'm just worried that you're in danger at home alone, and ......"
"I don't want to go to a broken nursing home!" My mother interrupted me, her voice full of anger and sadness, "Son, which room will I live in in the future?"
I was speechless for a moment, and my mother's questioning hit me hard in the heart like a punch. I opened my mouth, but I was speechless.
"Mom, you can't pick ...... room in the nursing home," I said weakly, lowering my head.
"You unfilial son!" The mother's face turned red, and her eyes were full of anger and accusation, "You just want to throw me, an old woman, into a nursing home, and abandon me from now on, don't you?
My mother got up from her chair excitedly, pointed her finger at me, and her voice was a little hoarse with anger: "I have worked so hard to pull you up, and you can't even agree to the little request I made in my old age?
Looking at my mother's face, distorted by anger, my heart felt like it was being pinched hard. My mother's words undoubtedly hurt her fragile self-esteem, and how I lost my words.
"Mom, listen to me," I said as I looked at my mother sincerely, and my tone became extremely gentle, "I have no intention of abandoning you. You are the dearest person in my life, how could I want to abandon you?"
I looked into my mother's eyes, hoping that she would see in my sincere eyes what I meant.
"The reason why I proposed to put you in a nursing home is purely out of concern for you. I went on to explain, "You see, you're getting so old, and you're getting worse every day, and I can't worry about you being home alone. In case there is a three-long and two-short, how can I explain it to my father?"
At this point, my voice was a little choked. I think of those mothers who worked hard day and night to make ends meet, and my heart is mixed.
"Moreover, the environmental conditions of the nursing home are so good, and I am much more relieved that someone will take care of your daily life. I said firmly, "Mom, you have to believe me, I don't mean to abandon you, I just love you too much and care about you too much." "
Looking at my sincere expression, my mother's anger gradually subsided. She sat back in her chair tiredly, the angry look on her face replaced by helplessness and fear.
"Son, do you know that what I fear most about this old bone is that it will be abandoned by you. The mother sighed, her eyes gloomy, "How can you young people understand the feelings of our old people? Being abandoned by our children is the greatest shame and pain for us. "
I looked at my mother's thin back, and suddenly realized the fear and loneliness in her heart. As children, we tend to focus on our own lives and ignore the changes in the inner world of our elderly parents.
"Mom, I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to abandon you. I stepped forward and gently hugged my mother's thin body, "You are the dearest person in my life, how could I abandon you? No matter what happens in the future, I will always be by your side." "
The mother didn't speak, just nodded, but tears were rolling in the corners of her eyes.
"Son, you don't know how hard it was when I was young. After a long time, my mother spoke, her tone full of helplessness and nostalgia, "Your grandfather died early, and I dragged you and your sister alone, relying on selling snacks to maintain the family's food and clothing." "
Speaking of this, the mother's eyes were overshadowed, as if she saw those painful pasts. I listened quietly and didn't interrupt her.
"At that time, I had a hard enough time, and in winter, our family sat on the kang wrapped in quilts, eating the little savings left by your grandfather. But it didn't take long for that little money to be left. "
"Then I started setting up street stalls and selling snacks for a living. You can't remember the days of that time. Sometimes I can't make a few dollars a month, so I have to drink some plain water to get hungry. "
"But I never gave up hope. Mother raised her head and wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes with her sleeve, "I just thought, as long as I can pull you two up, I won't live this life in vain." "
I lowered my head and closed my eyes, feeling nothing but guilt and self-blame churning wildly in my heart. As my mother's most beloved son, I rarely take the initiative to care about her life, let alone understand her inner thoughts. How selfish and inconsiderate I am!
"Mom, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry for you. I hugged my mother tightly, tears rolling in my eyes, "Over the years, I have cared too little about you, you are the dearest person in my life, but I always ignore your feelings." I'm so sorry for you. "
My mother didn't speak, just patted me on the back and wept silently.
It took me a while before I came to my senses and looked up at my mother.
"Mom, I promise you that from now on, I will be filial to you and will not let you live alone no matter what. I said firmly, "Don't worry, with my son here, you will be happy and healthy in your old age." "
Mother nodded, finally with a smile on her face. Looking at the relief in her smile, my heart swelled with warmth.
When I asked her to be admitted to a nursing home, I thought my mother would be furious and refuse again. But unexpectedly, the mother nodded slowly, her face was more calm than ever.
"Son, you're right. Mother said in a calm tone, "I have indeed reached the age when it is time to recuperate." It's too hard and lonely to be alone at home. "
"Over the years, I've been reluctant to go into a nursing home because of my stubbornness and arrogance. I always feel that if I go to a nursing home, I will be abandoned by you. "
"But what you said today made me realize that your children did not mean to abandon me, but out of concern for me. I'm an old bone, and I really need someone to take care of it. "
Speaking of this, my mother looked at me with firm eyes, "Son, I have decided, just follow your advice and move into a nursing home." "
Hearing my mother say these words in person, my heart was full of mixed feelings. On the one hand, I am extremely relieved that my mother has made such a courageous decision; On the other hand, I also felt a little guilty that my unintentional words hurt my mother's self-esteem.
"Mom, I fully understand and support your decision. I said sincerely, "With your current physical condition, it's hard to be home alone." As long as you are well and comfortable in the nursing home, I am relieved. "
I stepped forward and hugged my mother's thin body tightly, tears rolling in my eyes again.
My mother reached out and patted me on the back, finally smiling on her face. Looking at her calm expression, I felt a sense of relief and pride in my heart. The mother finally let go of that stubborn self-esteem and made a wise choice.
"Son, don't worry, I chose to live in a nursing home this time, but it was not because I was abandoned by you. As if seeing my doubts, my mother took the initiative to explain.
"Actually, I've been at home alone all these years, and my life has been too hard and lonely. The mother's voice trembled slightly, "Especially at night, I am the only one in the house, it is really terrible." "
"And, as you can see, my health is getting worse and worse, and I struggle to do even simple household chores. If you continue to live alone in this environment, sooner or later something will happen. "
"So, it's time for me to let go of that pride. There is no shame in going into a nursing home, on the contrary, it will give me better living conditions and reduce your burden. "
Speaking of this, a smile finally appeared on the mother's face, "Son, you don't have to blame yourself. It's that I've always been too stubborn, and you're all for my good. "
Seeing my mother so transparent, my heart was immediately relieved. Over the years, it was our mother and son who were both too stubborn, so that there were estrangements and misunderstandings. And today's heart-to-heart conversation finally rekindled the flame of family affection.
"Mom, then let's plan together, which nursing home will you live in in the future?" I happily asked, "Do you have any special requirements?" and we'll have to choose the best one for you." "
"Well, I don't have any special requirements, as long as the environment is clean and tidy, and someone is in charge of food and housing. Mother smiled slightly, "By the way, it would be better to have a small garden, and my old bones like to move around in the garden the most." "
"No problem, no problem, we will definitely choose the best for you!" I replied cheerfully. Then, with a word from you, we began to recall all kinds of memories of my childhood.
Once upon a time, I had so little communication with my mother. But today, we're finally back to the closeness we once had. Looking at my mother's smiling face, my heart warmed.
In this way, our mother and son talked for most of the afternoon. During this period, we hugged each other countless times, as if we wanted to make up for all the debts we had over the years.
The sun was setting in the west, and the warm setting sun was pouring into my mother's hut. I looked at the familiar furnishings in the room, and my heart was mixed. This cottage has witnessed my upbringing, but also my mother's hardships.
"Mom, after you settle down in the nursing home, we must see each other often. I clasped my mother's hand tightly, "No matter how busy I am, I'll come to see you at least twice a week." "
"Good, good. The mother nodded, with a happy smile on her face, "With you, a filial son, I have nothing to worry about." "
We looked at each other and smiled, as if we had embarked on a new journey in life.
A month after that, I accompanied my mother to a beautiful nursing home and settled her in.
It was a small four-storey building with a small garden in front of it, lined with trees and flowers. As soon as the mother entered the room, she was attracted by the clean and tidy environment inside.
"It's a nice place. She said happily, "If I were at home, I wouldn't have such a good environment." "
Seeing the smile on my mother's face, I finally let go of the stone in my heart. Yes, this is where the mother should live, not the dark, damp hut.