Have you ever had such an experience:
Someone misunderstands your original meaning, and you explain it over and over again in order to clarify yourself, but the words do not reach the point, and you fall into a deeper predicament.
Someone laughs at your dreams, and you are devastated by it, trying to prove yourself, only to be met with more skepticism and cynicism.
Someone spreads your rumors, and you have to stand up and refute them in order to protect your reputation, only to find that the more you refute some rumors, the more they spread.
In real life, we all want to be understood by others, as if it is a part of life and a necessity for our interactions with people.
However, the gains and losses are up to oneself, and the reputation is ruined by others.
In the face of the judgment of the outside world, perhaps Mr. Yang Jiang has given the best answer:
"The world is one's own, not about others. ”
Being misunderstood is the norm
I've seen such a sentence:
"Some people think the world is complicated, some people think the world is simple and complex, live in someone else's world, and live in their own world. ”
When we are young, we always care a lot about what others think and always want others to understand us.
However, as I grew older, I deeply understood:
It's good to be honest and honest, other people's opinions have nothing to do with you.
A friend said that during her studies, she was questioned, doubted and ridiculed by her classmates.
Classmates didn't understand her, excluded her, isolated her, and even tried to hurt her again and again.
She was angry, sad, and explained, clarified, but to no avail.
Finally, she said, "Believe it or not," and said no more.
Being misunderstood and isolated is undoubtedly a painful experience.
Especially when you try to justify yourself, indifference and prejudice are like an invisible barrier that separates your sincerity and distorts your voice.
Not to mention, there are some things that simply can't be explained.
This feeling of powerlessness is like being trapped in a dark and cramped corner, surrounded by cold stone walls, with nowhere to escape and no one to sue.
Perhaps in the end, we will have to accept the existence of prejudice and misunderstanding.
Everyone thinks of you differently, just as they think in their hearts.
After going through the world, we will finally understand:
Being misunderstood is the norm in life.
The joys and sorrows of human beings are not the same.
You have traveled a path that no one else has walked, and what you think is difficult for others to know.
Even if you are sincere and unreserved, you will inevitably be questioned and misinterpreted.
No matter how good you are, in the eyes of some people, it may just be hypocrisy and hypocrisy.
However, life is ultimately your own.
There's a good saying:
"A pound of rice is rice in the eyes of the farmer, rice in the eyes of the chef, and wine in the eyes of the restaurant.
But rice is always rice, no matter what others think, you are still you. ”
You don't have to live in someone else's mouth, you don't have to ask everyone to understand.
Instead of trying to explain, it is better to be firm and let the years be your best commentary.
Instead of getting lost in the evaluation of others, it is better to dig deep into your heart, pursue growth, and bloom your own light.
Ignoring it is the best way to fight back
Mark Twain once said:
"By the time the truth was in its shoes, the lies had run all over the city. ”
In October last year, after the host Li Sisi left CCTV, various false rumors about her emerged, and some even rumored that she would marry a 60-year-old rich man after divorce.
However, in the face of these increasingly outrageous rumors, Li Sisi appeared unusually calm.
She responded indifferently:
"Rumors stop at the wise, just be yourself. ”
In fact, Li Sisi's husband has always been her first love.
The two studied together at Peking University, and they have known and fallen in love since their junior year, until they entered the palace of marriage and raised children together, and their ten-year marriage has always been as sweet as their first love.
In response to all kinds of doubts and speculations from the outside world, Li Sisi always responded with a smile, and never disclosed the details of his married life in order to prove himself.
She said, "I'll be me, my truest self, my most comfortable self." ”
In the journey of life, misunderstandings and misunderstandings are a norm that cannot be controlled and cannot be avoided.
The image of the same person may be very different in the minds of different people.
You never know how you're portrayed in someone else's mouth.
If one is always busy explaining and clarifying, then a lot of time and energy is spent that could otherwise be used to pursue something more meaningful.
Yale University professor Louis once discovered such a pattern:
It takes 90 days for a person to form a habit, 6 months to form a certain thought pattern, and up to 14 years to form an inner character.
To put it bluntly, the cognitive pattern that has existed for many years is deeply ingrained and cannot be easily shaken.
If you cling to chatter and try to convince others, the end result is often just to exhaust yourself and fall into meaningless internal friction.
Never prove yourself to anyone.
At the end of the day, people don't know the same way.
The three views are different, even if you try your best, you can't shake half a point.
The levels are different, even if you say more, you are just playing the piano to the cow.
When you're trying to get everyone to recognize you, you're actually consuming yourself.
When you cling to other people's opinions, you are actually torturing yourself.
Sometimes, what we need to understand is not to learn to let go, not to learn to be patient, but not to even have the idea of changing others.
Li Ao once spoke ill of Yu Guangzhong on the show, and even called him a "bullshit poet", and his words were sharp and staggering.
However, in the face of such an insult, Yu Guang seemed unusually calm.
The friend couldn't stand it, and couldn't help but ask why he was silent in the afterglow.
After hearing this, he only said one sentence:
"He scolds me every day to prove that he can't live without me, and I don't care, proving that I can live without him. ”
As soon as these words came out, Li Ao was speechless.
Since then, there has been no provocation against Yu Guangzhong.
Forrest Gump once said:
"Life is a process of constant elimination, slowly knowing what is important and what is not important. ”
If you're always worried about what other people think, you're invisibly putting yourself under the control of others.
It's like having a rope that binds you, and the more you care, the tighter the rope tightens, and the more suffocating it becomes.
Only when you are no longer swayed by the evaluation of the outside world can you get rid of the invisible shackles and become the master of your own destiny.
Really powerful people know how to block out external interference and have their own persistence and opinions.
Do not waver easily, do not follow the crowd, but keep a clear head and firmly follow the path you should take.
Flowers bloom and fall, people gather and disperse.
Life is only a little more than 30,000 days.
Instead of forcing life to be as good as you want, you should learn to look down, look down, and look away.
In the darkness, in slander, there is no argument, no persuasion, no argument.
Shut out the distractions and noises of the outside world, and cultivate yourself in inner peace and contemplation.
Move forward steadfastly, fearless of wind and rain, and become stronger and stronger in silence.
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