The real purpose of many people having children is to raise children to prevent old age, but occasionally a very small number of people do not have children for this reason.
However, the ideal is very plump, the reality is very skinny, and the more a person thinks like this, the more likely he will be treated unwanted. As Ding Yuanying said in the TV series "Tiandao":
"The more the old man thinks that raising children to prevent old age, the more likely he is to feel at a loss, and the more bitter he will be. ”
I couldn't agree more. When we have expectations and hopes for someone, we tend to be disappointed. This is because we tend to set standards for their behaviour or performance, and if they don't, we are disappointed. You should learn to be more open and tolerant, and not to expect too much from others.
In a mother-child relationship, if parents have very high expectations of their children, then parents will feel confused and heartbroken if their children do not act according to their wishes. They feel that they have given a lot for their children and worked so hard to raise them, but they have been rewarded in such a way, which makes them really sad.
A seventy-year-old man sighed: It was not until the end of his life that he deeply understood the truth and reality of family affection.
1. Unable to help their children, their children begin to dislike their own incompetence
Grandma Ye is 70 years old, and in recent years, she feels that her health is getting worse and worse, and she can't do many things.
So, she proposed her idea to her son and daughter-in-law: no longer help them cook and take care of the children, but move back to the countryside and enjoy a quiet and leisurely life. This way she can have more time and space to have a good time on her own.
When Grandma Ye mentioned this, her son and daughter-in-law's expressions suddenly turned cold. Although Grandma Ye finally returned to the countryside as she wished, her daughter-in-law still harbored resentment towards her and even had no intention of sending her home.
After Grandma Ye returned to her hometown, she looked forward to her son bringing her grandson to see her. But no matter how left or right, they did not wait for their arrival.
Once it was rare for everyone to return to the countryside together, but Grandma Ye overheard unpleasant news from her grandson, and it turned out that her son and daughter-in-law had long regarded her as a useless old man. This made Grandma Ye feel sad and lost.
They were reluctant to go home to see Grandma Ye because their son and daughter-in-law felt that they could no longer provide any help to Grandma Ye, so they felt that there was no need to go back.
Family affection is not only warmth, in fact, reality often makes us understand that there is also a test of reality in family affection.
Even if there is a parent-child relationship between you and your children and grandchildren, real life emphasizes the exchange of interests and values.
If you are unable to meet the needs of your children, some unfilial people will mercilessly abandon you and leave you alone in your old age. This reminds us to be as prepared and supportive as possible for our families to build family relationships that are respectful, caring and supportive. This will ensure that we have reliable support in our old age, without the fear of loneliness and abandonment.
Second: The cost of hospitalization for illness will also become an irreconcilable contradiction between children
Grandma Ye was deeply worried that she had suffered from a serious illness, but when settling the bill, in addition to medical insurance, they had to pay tens of thousands of yuan out of their own pockets. It made her feel stressed.
The son and daughter disagreed over being responsible for a sum of money. They began to shift the blame to each other, while also revealing that the family was in a difficult situation and could not afford the expenses. They felt helpless by the situation. In response to this situation, it is necessary to find solutions to problems, and at the same time, it is necessary to understand and support each other to overcome difficulties.
The daughter thinks she's married and shouldn't bear the expense. However, the son recalled how they took care of Grandma Ye when she was at home, so he thought that it was filial enough. This is not uncommon in many families, but we should pay more attention to the love and respect for our elders, whether they have left us or not.
Because of their disagreement, the two had an argument in front of the hospital bed. Grandma Ye's son and daughter even fought in front of the old man......
Grandma Ye was embarrassed because people were concerned about the strife in her family. She confides in her troubles, but it is not until the end of her life that she understands the cruel reality of family affection.
No matter what kind of relationship, it cannot escape the influence of the law of "value exchange", even the mother-child relationship.
Family affection also has a trade-off in interests, and it is necessary to see through this as soon as possible and release your heart.