Some people say: All unhappiness comes from comparison.
Comparison is sometimes conscious, sometimes unconscious, and comparison is inevitable, but you can also slowly learn to desensitize to comparison, so that comparison will not make you troubled.
And a good life first comes from desensitization in comparison, putting all your concentration on what you want to do, and staying diligent. When people live in the world, they inevitably have all kinds of interpersonal relationships and have to receive a lot of information. There are always people who are better than you, and there are always people who are better than your children.
It's not better than not knowing, and you'll see the gap when you compare.
You can't live in your own world without being in contact with the outside world. So there will inevitably be all kinds of comparisons, and it is not a bad thing to have comparisons, it allows you to see your own gaps, see your own position clearly, and also gain insight into more problems.
I'm afraid it's too much. Excessive comparison will be psychologically unbalanced, and avoiding comparison will stop moving.
The best way to do this is to desensitize to the comparison, and at the same time use the other party as a reference in the comparison to look inside yourself and see yourself better.
Whether our life is a piece of chicken feathers, or a heart like water, it all depends on your desensitization ability.
As the name suggests, desensitization is desensitization. To put it more bluntly, it's an overreaction or obsession that goes beyond one thing.
In particular, parents will be overly obsessed with or involuntarily rebel against "other people's children", and when they hear or see other people's children with good grades and talents, they will involuntarily envy and compare.
After the comparison, it doesn't count, but also nagging a few words in front of the children: Look at the children of the XX family, you can't study hard.
Although some parents don't talk about their children, they are very unhappy in their hearts, and secretly dislike their children, why can't they do it? Then they breed all kinds of anxiety and force their children to roll up.
Yes, human nature is to envy and look up to everything that you can't ask for.
But in the face of comparison or things that can't be done, you can also let go of desires, let go of comparison, and focus on the current road.
There is a sentence in "Meaning" that the only important thing in everyone's life is to find "the way home", to find the place where their soul rests, and to return to this home as much as possible to prepare more food.
This is how I understand this sentence, it is inevitable to compare or compare in life, because there is always someone better than you. But in the face of the excellence of others, we can also appease our hearts and find our own desires.
Then follow your own trajectory, the life you want to pursue and the person you want to become, steady your pace, slow down, and constantly improve your abilities.
Ability includes your personal strength, mental strength, and optimistic attitude and confidence built with hard work.
Instead of looking up to others, stop and strengthen yourself. At this time, the comparison has become a lighthouse, and it has become a "knowing in mind" at all times.
As the old saying goes: know the world but not the world.
This is the ability to desensitize in the relationship. This also inspired me that when I see other children with good grades and excellence, I just need to praise and affirm from the bottom of my heart.
But I will not secretly compare with my child, but I will not avoid the current situation, at most I will use the results as a reference to measure the current position of the child, as well as the direction and focus of the follow-up efforts.
I think this ability is called desensitization after comparison, always be clear about what you want to compare, and always understand where the child's potential and the direction of help are.
I think this kind of ability is not only useful for children in the learning stage, but also has a good inspiration for them to go into society and the workplace, so as to achieve self-consistency.
Life is originally like drinking water, knowing whether you are warm or cold. We can see the excellence of others, but we can't use it as an incentive to look down on ourselves.
Everyone must have a ruler in their hearts to measure appropriately.
Only in this way can we continue to discover a better self in comparison and relationship.
The flowers are most beautiful when they are half-opened, and they are the best when they are semi-desensitized. Learn to turn around in all kinds of relationships so that life can be fulfilled.
There is a degree in life, the mistake is in the inadequacy, the bad is in the excess, and the excellence is in moderation.
And moderation is a more measured choice after desensitization. There is no such thing as a smooth life, there are only good enough options.
In the comparison of blank, only full of joy, in desensitization to seek common ground while reserving differences, in order to optimize oneself, in the optimization to see oneself, in the endless climbing.