Writer Zhang Wenliang once wrote:
"God gave me a task to take a snail for a walk.
I can't go too fast, the snail has tried its best to climb, but why is it always a little bit at a time?
I urged it, bluffed it, blamed him, and even tried to pull it and kick it.
Suddenly, I smelled the flowers, felt the breeze, heard the chirping of insects and birds, and saw the sky full of stars.
It dawned on me that I was wrong, that God had told a snail to take me for a walk. ”
If people are in too much of a hurry, they want to do everything in one step, and they are even always in a hurry for quick success.
Well, life will definitely make you fall into all kinds of predicaments, traps.
Because people who have too strong a sense of purpose, people who demand too much perfection from themselves, and people who have too high expectations of others.
In this way, you will become more and more anxious, more and more like involution, and even fall into endless internal friction.
In the final analysis, a person has too many desires and desires, but he does not have the corresponding ability to consume and deal with them.
In the end, if the gap is too big, there will be more conflicts in the heart, and once there are more troubles that cannot be solved, troubles will arise.
In this way, I feel more and more anxious, anxious, painful, and difficult in my heart.
The American psychoanalyst Karen Honey wrote in the book "The Conflict Within Us":
The more we face up to our conflicts and seek solutions, the more freedom we will gain within ourselves.
The really powerful person must be anti-anxiety, anti-involution, and anti-internal friction.
Then, in reality, bravely face up to the inner conflict, and actively look for various solutions to gain more inner freedom, calmness, and comfort.
Anti-anxiety
Studies from the University of Oxford have shown that:
"Anxiety increases the risk of cardiovascular disease by 41 percent and stroke by 71 percent. ”
In fact, we will also know that if we fall into an anxious mood in reality, it is impossible to do things well.
Moreover, I am always anxious to get the answer and the result I want to see, and then all my thoughts and energy seem to be focused on this result and the answer.
As a result, they will not allow themselves to take action to make changes, and they will even be more afraid to make changes.
Then, there is a fear of the future, and even more and more the feeling that the future is hopeless.
The writer Sanjin once said:
"The fear of the unknown is a common trait of human beings.
Your timidity comes from your ignorance, and your ignorance comes from your laziness and vanity. ”
Mu Xin said: "A person who thinks excessively is very weak in action. ”
Everyone who is caught in anxiety is full of fear of the present and the future.
This fear will trap your positive emotions and even crush your mind until it pushes you into the abyss.
In reality, if a person falls into anxiety for a long time, his life will be more passive, and even jumping.
Such a person is indeed unable to let himself have a better and better future.
reminds me of a sentence from writer Li Shanglong:
"A person who is always full of fear and spends all his time anxious will find it difficult to have a good tomorrow. ”
In fact, nine times out of ten, if we are always crushed by work, life, and interpersonal pressure.
Well, these overly worried anxieties, as well as a life tormented by negative energy, will surely make you lose more and more joy and happiness.
Shakespeare once said:
"If a person thinks too much, he will lose the joy of being a human being. ”
Therefore, we must give up cranky thinking, and strive to be brave and strong to conquer any anxiety that comes our way.
In this way, live in every moment and every second of the moment, breathe truthfully, soar freely, and truly let yourself live a positive and healthy mental and spiritual life in a state of anti-anxiety.
Eventually, real life will also get better and better.
Anti-involution
No matter how good a person is, he can't keep rolling, and he can't win all the time.
Because there are always some back waves, lapping the front waves.
It's as if there will always be more fresh life, slowly replacing some aging life.
Therefore, it can be rolled for a while, but it can't be rolled for a lifetime.
A truly smart person must know how to stop in time, be kind to himself, and cherish the rest of his life.
If you always want to win over others, want to live better than others, or even overwhelm others.
You will find that when you can't do it, the inner contrast will be greater, the loss will be stronger, and you will even move towards strong self-criticism.
At this time, you always think that you are very self-motivated, and even feel that the world is unfair, and then you start to complain about others and lose all kinds of tempers.
But have you ever thought that human life is just a process, no matter how you resist, how you don't accept, how you try to make changes, in fact, it is in vain?
It can even be said that the more you resist, the more you violate the law of development of life, and the more bad luck you will have.
In the British national psychological counseling book "Mr. Toad Goes to a Psychologist", it says:
"No criticism is stronger than self-criticism, and no judge is harsher than ourselves. ”
People who live a transparent and sober life will not roll with others, and will slowly quit the habit of rolling with themselves.
Because that's not necessary, learn to be kind to yourself and keep a relaxed state to move forward.
You will find that even if you do very little, even if you walk slowly, you can feel very down-to-earth, and even feel happier and happier.
Writer Lu Bai told you in the book "Underlying Logic":
"It's better to do one thing slowly than to do a bunch of things in a frizzy way. ”
Find your favorite way and place yourself according to your strengths and interests.
Then, when you find a position that suits you, you will find how chic, calm, comfortable and beautiful you live in a space that does not roll.
Anti-internal friction
There's a hot topic online:
"Should we be prepared before we start, or should we start first?"
A highly praised answer was quite impressive: "Life is not like cooking, you can't wait for all the ingredients to be ready." ”
In fact, no matter what a person does, the first thing to do is not to see whether it is reliable or not.
Instead, you have to think about it first, and when you think it's generally reliable, you can implement it first.
Then, as you act and correct, you will find that the work and career at hand will become more and more reliable and vigorous.
I've heard a saying:
Chaos and changeability are the normal state of the world, and we must learn to embrace uncertainty and deal with it correctly in order to become the master of our own destiny.
Indeed, life is always full of uncertainties, and life is unpredictable.
A truly strong person is one who can always face it bravely and firmly walk on the path he has chosen.
Then, it will not be cranky, and it will not easily fall into internal friction, but will always maintain a positive energy.
In this way, do what should be done immediately, and when it is time to rest, also rest immediately, don't think so much, and don't go to internal friction.
Just like in Sartre's novel "The Wall", there is a sentence that says: "It is a very stupid and internal thing for people to maintain self-restraint all the time." ”
Don't be easy to internal friction, let alone anxious about time, for what we believe in, firm belief, we just do it.
Do as much as you can, accept as much as you can, and don't give yourself so much sorrow, trouble, anxiety and fear for no reason.
The Book of Time says:
"Young man, your job is to level the land, not to be anxious.
You do things in March and April, and you have your own answer in August and September. ”
In life, we just have to work hard, pay, and persevere.
We'll just leave the rest to time.
As long as we don't easily fall into internal friction, then the rhythm of life will slowly be in our hands.
In the end, the beauty and happiness of life must also be controlled and grasped by oneself.