Last week, my best friend called me to complain that she had recently been heartbroken by her daughter's studies.
Her daughter is in her third year of junior high school, which is the most nervous time.
However, I was always distracted by lectures during the day, and I was absent-minded when I wrote my homework at night, picking erasers and playing with my fingers, and grinding until late every day.
You said that our family Lingling, this winter vacation really didn't dare to relax at all, studying at home every day, and the test ended up like that......
Look at your Xiaoyi again, this winter vacation went skiing again, and went to Sanya for vacation, how can your studies not be affected at all?
In the end, my cousin finally couldn't help but ask me, what kind of "panacea" did I use for my son Xiaoyi?
After all, when Xiao Yi first entered junior high school, his grades were still hovering in the middle and lower reaches of the class.
But in the three years of junior high school, his grades have been steadily rising, and now after entering high school, the learning task is becoming more and more heavy, but at present, Xiaoyi's overall state is good, and the learning rhythm seems to be at ease.
In fact, looking back on the past few years, I have taken many detours and suffered a lot on the road of educating children.
Looking back now, the reason why Xiao Yi can have his current positive and energetic state is not because of what I have done in his studies.
It was precisely because I allowed him to do these three "idle things".
Speaking of which, Xiao Yi has liked to read books since he was a child, and he liked to read some books with pictures before he was in elementary school, such as "The Little Prince" and "Sanmao Wanderings".
When I got older, the genre began to expand, and I liked "Notes on Tomb Robbery", "Five Thousand Years Up and Down", and "Robinson Crusoe".
Actually, I was a little worried at first, afraid that he would delay his studies.
But I found that Xiao Yi was very focused when he was reading, and the whole person was immersed in his own world.
Moreover, he often talked about the plot with his father, and the big and small chats were full of interest and eyebrows, and I let them go.
Now that I think about it, it's good that I didn't object to him reading the book in the first place.
In junior high school, although his academic performance was average, his concentration was stronger than that of other children, and his expression skills were also good;
Later, the class had history and geography classes, and the teacher often praised him for his knowledge.
And he can often cite classics in his essays, get high scores, and even won a silver medal in an essay contest in the city in his third year of junior high school.
These achievements are largely due to his perennial reading habits.
Therefore, I especially recommend that children read more in primary school and allow them to read more so-called "idle books".
It can not only lay a foundation for children's learning, but also broaden their cognition, broaden their horizons, and see new directions.
Zhan Qingyun, a strange player who graduated from Harvard, was not the top student in the class at the beginning, and he often counted last in the class in exams.
But she has loved reading since she was a child, from martial arts novels to the four famous novels.
When she was at a low ebb, her parents did not violently mature her, but gave her a lot of time to study freely.
Mom buys her books, Dad tells her books, and lets her wander in the sea of books she loves.
It was reading that brought her a wealth of knowledge, allowing her to accumulate steadily, and finally entered the University of Chinese in Hong Kong with the top ten results in the province in the college entrance examination.
Li Xueqin once had a "plastic bag" theory:
Many people often save some plastic bags for takeaway and grocery shopping at home.
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Those plastic bags may seem useless, but one day, they will come in handy when you need them most.
I think reading is such a process.
Every book a child reads will become a stepping stone for him, integrate into his bone marrow, improve his thinking, and achieve his life.
Wendy A. Suzuki, a professor of neuroscience at New York University, had an experience.
For a while, she continued to gain weight and found herself the weakest person in the crowd around her.
So, she started working out at the gym and tried kickboxing, dancing, yoga, and more.
After persevering for a while, she found that not only did she lose 25 pounds, but her concentration and memory were much better than before, and she was able to write very smoothly.
After researching, she finally came to the conclusion:
Exercise changes your brain the most.
Simply moving your body can have immediate, long-lasting, and protective benefits for your brain that can last a lifetime.
This is also a good explanation for why children who love sports tend to have better grades.
According to the survey results, 34 of the 63 top students in the national college entrance examination in 2016 usually like sports, and 24 of the 42 top students in the 2017 survey are sports-like.
In 2015, Jiang Linkun, the top science student in Fujian, was a well-known "runner" in school, and even insisted on running the day before the college entrance examination;
In 2016, Li Yichen, the top science student in Guangdong Province, has long insisted on moderate exercise, especially swimming and badminton, even if he is nervous about his studies, he has to go to the school playground every afternoon to run a few laps;
In 2018, Fu Linke, the top science student in Jiangxi, played football, served as the captain of the high school football team, and also won the MVP of the provincial campus football league;
Since Xiao Yi was in primary school, he has been exercising with our encouragement.
Usually after dinner, he goes downstairs for a run or plays badminton with his dad for a while;
On weekends, I sometimes go swimming with me, or go hiking with my family.
In junior high school, although Xiao Yi's grades were average, teachers often praised him for his active thinking and concentration.
Many children suffer from schoolwork every day and are always listless, but he is always full of energy and energy every day.
In the year of the high school entrance examination, because of the epidemic, many students were affected differently in their bodies and mentalities, but Xiao Yi was always strong, and he also performed exceptionally and was admitted to a key middle school.
After entering high school, he was also selected for the school's soccer team, and he had to train every day, which was particularly rich and fulfilling.
According to his words: There is a lot of pressure to study now, but when I go out for a run and sweat every day, I always feel very happy and more energetic to learn.
Brain scientist Professor Hong Lan has also said that the best way to activate a child's brain is first exercise.
Because during exercise, the human brain automatically secretes dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine, which are neurotransmitters related to learning and memory.
So, I'm especially glad that my son was trained to exercise before he started high school.
In my opinion, exercise is not only the best brain medicine for children, but also the key to turning the tables against the wind.
In fact, in addition to reading and sports, Xiao Yi has one more thing that has been insisted on for a long time, and that is dance.
When he was in elementary school, he fell in love with hip-hop dance from TV and clamored to study.
I thought he was on a whim, but since then, he has been going to dance classes every Saturday afternoon, rain or shine.
Later, the school gradually became busy, and we also had the idea of suspending him from class countless times.
But every time I see my son dancing with confidence and radiance, my heart starts to shake again.
It wasn't until I was in high school that I had a heart-to-heart talk with Xiao Yi.
He said:
Mom, I'm so grateful to you for letting me dance, you know? A lot of times I feel like I'm not on my own, but when I dance, I really feel like I'm being myself and I feel very relaxed.
And I used to feel that I was not high, my studies were average, and my personality was more introverted, so I always had a little low self-esteem, but now I am really much more confident.
After listening to this, I realized how important it is to allow children to have their own interests and hobbies.
Zhang Hengyi, a 17-year-old girl from Chengdu, was admitted to Oxford University and got the only admission offer in the southwest region.
Talking about the secret of success, she said frankly: "Actually, I'm not a top student at all, I just love to play and explore." ”
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When she first entered high school, her grades were not top-notch, and in a class of 50 people, her grades were only average.
Because she had to prepare for the college entrance examination and apply to study abroad, she was under a lot of pressure throughout her freshman and sophomore years of high school.
But in addition to her hard work, she also participated in various club activities, directing dramas, singing, playing guitar, etc......
It is these extracurricular hobbies and activities that relieve her stress and inspire her self-confidence.
What's more, some hobbies can be developed into lifelong goals and dreams.
Tu Yanbo, a 15-year-old junior high school boy in Hangzhou, has been bird watching since he was a child, and has now observed 1,600 species of birds at home and abroad.
He even took a year off from school for bird watching to do some bird volunteer work, so that he could get extra points for applying to foreign universities.
Now, he has his goal early on and plans to apply for an ecology major at Cornell University in the United States.
And these are inseparable from the support of Tu Yanbo's parents all the way.
Therefore, I especially recommend that parents allow or even cultivate some hobbies in their children, such as drawing, photography, dancing, etc.
This can help children to reduce stress, relax and find joy in life through hobbies after intense studying.
Tell children that there is only one life, boldly pursue dreams, love life, and grow up without regrets.
In the current environment of educational involution, more and more children are being coerced forward by anxious parents.
They are forced to learn ahead of time, over-learn, and compare with others, and finally they are physically and mentally exhausted and lose the energy to continue to grow.
In my opinion, instead of forcing children to work hard, it is better to cultivate children's habits of reading and sports from an early age, and fully develop children's interests and hobbies.
It can not only activate the child's brain, but also relax the child's body and mind.
You know, a good education doesn't need to work too hard.
Education with a sense of relaxation can give children better nourishment.