Cognition is influenced by a number of factors, such as experience, education, and environment. Looking back on the decisions and ideas of the past, many people will feel that they were quite naïve at that time.
This change indicates a richer experience, a deeper understanding of things, and a greater ability to reflect. However, to some extent, the books we are exposed to and the TV we watch also indirectly affect our values and judgments. The understanding as a child can be very different from that of an adult.
Some good work can often arouse people's awareness and provide education. For example, some works exhort people to be good and not to do evil, otherwise they will reap the consequences. At the same time, many episodes also trigger us to think deeply about family education.
For example, someone brought up a topic: characters that I hated when I was a child, but I understood them when I grew up. One of the characters mentioned is Aunt Xue. Through comparison, we found that Wen Pei, a kind parent, was actually extremely cruel to her offspring.
Her concern for her daughter, though genuine, pales in comparison. verbally warned his daughter not to sing, fearing that she would lose her noble personality in the complicated world.
The actual pressure of survival and the distress of her mother made her no time to take care of personality and decency. When they should be concerned about their children's education, parents only care about satisfying their own sense of morality, and even if they are wrongfully kicked out of the house, they do not care about child support.
As a result, children are forced to go out to "earn quick money" to support the family when they should be educated. At this time, it seems quite contradictory to instill the concept of daughter's dignity. It is a paradoxical situation for parents to pursue nobility themselves, to make their offspring suffer, and finally to blame their offspring for bending their knees to earn a living.
That kind of "Aunt Xue" parent may be an unbearable person in the eyes of everyone, but she has fought for the actual interests of future generations. Let's take a look at the "Aunt Xue" back then, although her behavior was scathing, she hated the poor and loved the rich, and she once robbed the women of good families, which caused everyone's distress. However, she firmly believes that she has the possibility of counterattacking, so she is full of emotions.
In order to gain a foothold in that mansion and enjoy exclusive resources, he even used the means of blame to drive away others. In the eyes of everyone, she is a typical "rotten person" image. But from another point of view, she is a mother who has the strength to protect her children. At that time, the husband had migrated from the north, and the family's fortune had declined, and it could not accommodate so many people. However, she was determined to stay and ensure that her children could enjoy a privileged life and a good education.
It doesn't involve personal qualities, focuses on the real situation, and several of her children, even if they don't work hard, can be admired by their classmates and teachers around them. Even if the family later fell into trouble, they had diplomas and knowledge in that era, and they did not fall to the bottom of society.
Until she was finally imprisoned, she thought about and advised her children about their future choices. In front of that man, she could compromise and compromise, but after learning that her daughter was blamed for the loss of property, she resolutely turned her face and reported the crime.
If you had a choice, what type of parents would you prefer? As early as the time of review, many netizens believed that parents like "Wen Pei" seemed to be gentle and kind on the surface, but they were actually selfish and incompetent. Because she values her own honor and gentle personality more than her children.
Although the saying goes, "being a mother is strong", it is understandable that she chooses not to fight in love. However, seeing her daughter in trouble, the good life that originally belonged to her became completely different, she was indifferent, and did not even say a word for her husband.
Not even the courage to gently reach out and ask for a little alimony, instead let her daughter risk being humiliated by the whole family. As an adult, I have experienced the cold and mean side of "over there", how can I not understand how my daughter may be treated when she comes to the door.
It's just that she selectively "ignores", and waited until her daughter came home with scars and tears before she was "surprised" and asked: "Did they bully you?" In general, looking back on this work, many netizens have a more significant dislike for Wen Pei.
In reality, such parents are not uncommon. Teacher Li Meijin once mentioned that she has seen many examples of "good people" on the surface, but they do not perform well in the role of parents.
One counselor put it more bluntly that it could be parents of "histrionic personalities" and "people-pleasing personalities." They are friendly to relatives, classmates, colleagues, and even strangers, and always play the most kind and generous role, because maintaining their reputation is of utmost importance to them.
They are extremely harsh on their families, especially their offspring. In our culture, "there are no wrong parents in the world" is a common belief. As long as children point out their parents' mistakes or express grievances, it is easy to be regarded as "not sensible enough".
This is why many people now have a different view of family than they did in childhood. In the past, I may have thought that Aunt Xue was very bad, but now I feel that Wen Pei's parents are more selfish, and their emotions and hearts are only shown to the outside, but they rarely really think about their offspring.
Conclusion: We can't choose what kind of relatives we meet, and we can't force what kind of relatives we meet. However, complaining won't solve the problem. As adults, we need to realize that we are the first responsible person in life.
But if you had to choose, which parent would you rather choose?