Yang Jiang said:
"People should always calm down and live a quiet and introspective life. ”
However, many people are only accustomed to seeing the faults of others, letting themselves go freely and refusing to reflect.
When people reach middle age, if they want to be physically and mentally healthy, we have to learn to be our own doctors.
Look inward, recognize yourself, eradicate these four "heart diseases", and live more transparently for the rest of your life.
01
Complaining about the disease
As people get older, they unconsciously complain.
habitually complains about the harm of the outside world, and always thinks that he has put on so many bad things, it is really bad luck, why is his life so bitter.
Immersed in the role of the victim, unable to extricate himself.
In Cai Chongda's novel "Destiny", Ah Mu is such a person.
In the past three years, she has often complained about how difficult it is for her husband to go out of town without saying goodbye, her in-laws have died of serious illnesses one after another, and she has raised her two daughters alone.
With a belly full of anger, she would yell at her neighbors, and then run to the temple to make trouble. In the dead of night, she prayed to the gods that she would die a happy death.
After a long time, everyone walked around Grandma. Her life is getting more and more embarrassing, and her physical condition is even worse, three years like thirty years old.
The greatest foolishness of a person is to think that complaining is useful and can drive away misfortune and suffering.
As a result, the more you like to complain, the harder it is to break free from the quagmire of life.
Mr. Jin Weichun, a well-known media person, shared an entrepreneurial crisis in his memoirs.
In the first year of his magazine, Business Week, sales had been slow to pick up, and the company was on the verge of bankruptcy.
For a time, there were many complaints in the editorial department, either accusing readers of having poor vision and not being able to read good articles, or pointing out that the general environment was not good and did not leave a way for the magazine to survive.
But Jin Weichun did not claim to be a victim, but took active action.
While learning from the management experience of his predecessors in the industry, he also researched the advantages of his competitors. It didn't take long to find the problem: the magazine's articles were in-depth, but laborious to read.
As a result, he hired a large number of senior editors to improve the content and make the articles readable and entertaining, and Business Week became the best-selling magazine in Taiwan in one fell swoop.
Kazuo Inamori said:
"No matter how much you complain and how much you are wronged, the most important thing at the moment is to do a good job first, which is the mentality that a mature person should have. ”
Complaining about the sky is particularly damaging, people will be trapped in the shadows of the past, and a gust of wind blows in their faces, and they can be blown down.
Turning the energy of complaining about injustice into the motivation to actively break the situation is the best way for middle-aged people to survive.
02
The disease of greed for small and cheap
There are always some people in life who take advantage of it. Even if it is a small profit, they have to do their best to keep it for themselves.
There is a social experiment abroad.
The staff set up a faulty ATM to spit out a 100-dollar bill before the customer inserted the card to withdraw money to see how many people would return the money to the bank.
As a result, two-thirds of them chose to pocket the 100 yuan and leave with a smug smile. The person who is the best at "making money" even inserted cards back and forth more than 20 times and took more than 2,000 US dollars.
In their opinion, these extra bills will be taken away sooner or later, and it is better to benefit themselves than to cheapen others.
Zweig wrote: "The gifts that God gives you are secretly priced. ”
Benefits that seem to be easy to come at are often more expensive.
Some netizens said that when they met an aunt who was over 50 years old, her biggest hobby in life was "holding sheep".
When she goes to the market to buy vegetables, she always likes to take a few more garlic and chives when the stall owner is not paying attention, and when she goes to the mall with her daughter-in-law, she has to fill her stomach with all the pastries she has tasted.
Once, she traveled abroad with her son and saw a try-on lipstick in a cosmetics store for 200 yuan.
She thought that the trial pack was equivalent to free, and it was not stealing it, so she put the lipstick in her pocket and swaggered out the door.
Unbeknownst to her, the alarm at the door sounded, and she was immediately surrounded by security guards. The police arrived and soon detained her and imposed a hefty fine.
Due to the delay of the trip, the aunt's son had to ask for leave from the unit, and his salary was deducted for several days in a row, and he had to spend thousands of yuan to book a plane ticket back to China.
When she got home, her relatives and neighbors either accused her of being "old and confused" or laughed at her, and she could be thrown abroad if she was embarrassed.
For a mere 200 yuan lipstick, the aunt not only lost both money and money, but also discredited.
As Gu Long said: "To take advantage is to suffer a loss, and to suffer a loss is to take advantage." ”
Blindly taking advantage of others, not only can you not be invincible, but you will also continue to overdraw your character and erase your dignity before killing.
Even the relationships, wealth, and opportunities you once had are far away from you.
Really smart people never look down to pick up sixpence on the street, and talk about the big picture in the world.
03
The disease of the mouth
In interpersonal communication, the occasional gaffe or two is harmless.
But if you always speak according to your temperament, regardless of the occasion, it is easy to offend people.
The publisher, Liang Hongda, has a friend who used his savings to build a three-story villa in the suburbs.
On the day of the housewarming, relatives and friends came to congratulate him, and said auspicious words in different ways, making him smile from ear to ear.
Who knows, a relative walked in and said, "Your building is so high, if it collapses, how many people will have to be killed?"
When he heard this, his face suddenly became very ugly, and he stopped communicating with this relative.
Media person Li Xiaoyi wrote:
"Your self-perceived humor is probably open-mouthed;
What you think is funny is probably a rash amusement;
The affinity you think you have is probably due to the lack of sense of distance. ”
Be a man, grasp the scale of speech, and don't ruin yourself in a few words.
In the variety show "Longing for Life", there is such a very touching scene.
After dinner in the evening, guest Tan Songyun sat down with everyone and chatted.
Suddenly, a topic reminded her of her mother, who died in a car accident not long ago, and she couldn't help crying in front of the camera.
At this time, if you comfort Tan Songyun while guiding her to cry and recall the bits and pieces of getting along with her mother, it may bring a good program effect.
But Huang Lei and He Jiong, who are resident hosts, know that standing on other people's wounds and talking about it seems eye-catching, but it is actually extremely stupid.
So, Huang Lei decisively changed the topic and asked: "Teacher He, what wish do you have?"
He Jiong immediately answered the call to enliven the atmosphere and relieve Tan Songyun.
After the broadcast, the show not only did not collapse, but also was widely praised by the audience because of its considerate care of the guests.
A truly cultured person attaches importance to the sense of proportion in speaking, treats the living with courtesy, and is familiar with life.
When expressing your thoughts, you know how to compare your heart to your heart, rather than trying to sensationalize the public.
Appropriate silence is to leave room for others, and it is also to find a good way out for yourself.
04
The scourge of pleasure
As the old saying goes, "A bird that flies high dies from gluttony, and a fish in a deep pool dies from bait." ”
The quickest way to abolish a person is to indulge in his pleasure.
Let him spend his mind in sugar-coated shells, forget to be prepared for danger in times of peace, and no longer distinguish between right and wrong.
In Yu Hua's novel "Alive", the protagonist Fu Guiyuan is a rich young master from a landlord's family.
He was a gambler by nature, squandering his time at the gambling table, and lost hundreds of taels of silver every day.
If you don't have any cash in hand, Fugui will mortgage the valuable things at home, even if it is a house deed or a title deed.
Who knows, the people in the casino intended to embezzle Fugui's family property, and every time they gave out a thousand dollars, and when he lost the last title deed, they kicked him out.
Since then, Fugui's life has been declining, and he has experienced countless tragedies such as bankruptcy and widowhood.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying pleasure, but excessive greed and lack of restraint will eventually drag people into the abyss.
Sober up in time, and life can get back on track.
The French writer Hugo made a lot of friends before he became famous.
Under the influence of these people, he eats, drinks, and spends money lavishly, and is contaminated with the vice of extravagance and waste, and has no time to write works.
Hugo soon discovered that his writing time was often occupied, and he had to lend them money generously, and if he refused, he would be isolated from the circle and live a physically and mentally exhausted life.
He made up his mind to break off his friendship with these fox friends and devote himself to creation, only to realize that the sense of accomplishment brought by writing is unprecedented, far from being comparable to superficial fun.
Finally, Hugo created such great works as "Notre Dame de Paris" and "Les Miserables", which became the historical benchmark of French writers.
In the book "Addiction", it is written: "In the pure pursuit of pleasure, man cannot enjoy any form of pleasure." ”
Because the low-level pleasure will dissipate if you are not careful, and if you blindly immerse yourself in it, you will only feel empty later.
And high-level satisfaction requires a long-term vision, pouring out full patience, and in exchange for a sense of achievement beyond the present, which makes people have endless memories.
05
In the Tao Te Ching, it is said: "Those who know others are wise, and those who know themselves are clear." ”
The problem with most people is that they can't see their own hearts clearly.
If you encounter a problem, find the reason from yourself and seek it from yourself, so you don't have to worry about having no uphill road to go.
When life is halfway down, the most rare thing is to be able to introspect and self-diagnose at all times.
After all, a person's best doctor is always himself.