Our family lives in a small two-bedroom house in the city center. The house is not big, but neat and welcoming. In the living room, there is a rustic mahogany sofa, and next to the TV is Dad's favorite old-fashioned floor lamp. Mom loves to plant some greenery on the small balcony, and the fragrance of potted plants lingers in the house all year round. Whenever the sun sets, my home is enveloped in warm orange sunlight, and I can always feel at home at that time.
My name is Zhang Wei, I am 28 years old and I am a programmer. My wife, Li Xue, is two years younger than me and is the head of human resources at a foreign-owned company. We have a small amount of income, but it's not a money-making business. My father, Uncle Zhang, is 66 years old and worked as a mechanic before he retired. Her mother, Aunt Zhang, is a housewife who is busy with housework all day long. My father-in-law, Uncle and Aunt Li, were ordinary workers with only a meager pension after retirement.
The parents are honest people, and their tempers are not hot, but they are also relatively stubborn. His wife, Li Xue, is more spicy and straightforward, does things vigorously and resolutely, and rarely beats around the bush. I have a more moderate personality, I don't like arguments, and I tend to take a step back when I encounter conflicts. The mode of getting along with family members has always been that parents have the final say, and we as children rarely refute it.
One day, my mother suddenly said to me while cooking dinner: "Weizi, you and Xue'er have a combined salary of six or seven thousand, right? You are young and promising, and your father and I are counting on you." "
I guessed what she meant, but I politely asked, "Mom, what do you want to say?"
Li Xue walked up to her mother and said in a stiff tone: "Mother-in-law, isn't your request a bit excessive? 3,000 yuan is more than half of our monthly salary!"
Mom also came to the momentum, slapping the spatula on the stove: "It's too much, you young people make easy money, and your father and I gnaw that little money at home, can't you call us too much?"
My mother glared at me, and the anger on her face was even stronger: "What? You have also learned to contradict me? This is all you can do as a son? I can't even agree to this request!"
Seeing that neither of us nor the husband and wife responded, my mother continued to talk to herself: "Look at Aunt Wang next door, her son gives her 5,000 yuan a month! If you don't obey, I'll send you to a nursing home in the future to see who will serve us!"
I didn't dare to look my mother in the eye, she was really angry when she said such cruel words. Li Xue clenched her fists tightly on the side, her face becoming more and more ugly.
"Mother-in-law, can't you embarrass us once?" She finally couldn't hold it anymore and argued to her mother, "We've done our best, we can't afford such a high living expenses for you!"
"You can't afford it? That's because you don't want to do your filial piety!" My mother said angrily, "You are just too willful, you only care about spending your own money, and you don't care about the old people in the family!"
Li Xue's eyes suddenly burst with sparks of anger, and she shouted loudly: "Mother-in-law, don't always think of yourself as a parent! We have done our best, but you always belittle us, this is very hurtful!"
"Yes, mother-in-law!" Li Xue crossed her hands on her hips and was aggressive, "You always use the example of the house next door to talk about things." Didn't you think that we would have to pay for my parents' living expenses?
I quickly pulled my wife's arm to calm her down. But Li Xue didn't pay attention to me at all, and still stared straight at my mother.
"My parents' pension is lower than your family's! If you have to ask me to give you 3,000 yuan a month, then I also ask Viagra to give my parents the same amount every month, that's fair!"
Mother was dumbfounded by Li Xue's words, and the anger on her face gradually subsided. She didn't expect her usually docile daughter-in-law to speak wildly to her.
I watched my wife and mother face each other, and I had mixed feelings. As a son, I certainly want to be as filial to my parents as possible. But my mother's request is indeed a bit excessive, and our financial situation is indeed tight.
Moreover, Li Xue said it very reasonably. Her parents really need our financial support, and we can't just focus on giving money to her in-laws and ignore hers.
However, my mother and Li Xue have already quarreled to the point of rage, and if I support my wife with confidence, I am afraid that it will hurt my mother's feelings even more. As a man, I should stand on a neutral position to calm down the contradictions between the two sides.
What should I do now? I couldn't calm down for a long time, and I couldn't do anything about it when I saw that the conflict between my wife and mother was about to heat up.
"You unfilial thing! I have served you for most of my life, you are good, and I want my son to take money to your family!" Mother was completely annoyed by Li Xue's words, and pointed at her nose and scolded.
"You're an old woman who lacks empathy!" Li Xue did not show weakness, "You always regard yourself as a parent, and you don't respect our efforts at all! Do you dislike us for not being filial enough?"
"Nonsense! What do you know about an uneducated thing?" Mom's words became harder and harder to sound.
"Mom, Cher, stop arguing!" I hurriedly pulled them away, but no one listened to me.
Li Xue pushed me away and glared at my mother: "Mother-in-law, you are too selfish! You have never considered our difficulties, you only care about yourself!"
Just then, Dad opened the door and came back. Seeing this scene, a look of surprise immediately appeared on his face: "What's going on? What are you arguing about?"
I hurriedly walked over to explain the situation to my father. Dad frowned when he heard this, obviously a little embarrassed.
Dad mediated and calmed down the three of us for a while. However, the contradiction has intensified to a certain extent, and there are differences between Li Xue and me.
"Why don't you say anything?" Li Xue glared at me, her tone full of accusations, "Are you just watching your mother humiliate me like this?"
"Considerate of her?" Li Xue sneered, "She's just making trouble at all! You're so weak, no wonder she's always us!"
I was heartbroken by my wife's words, but I knew she was right. I was a little too weak and withdrawn in this matter.
"And what do you think I should do?" I retorted with some annoyance, "If I quarrel with my mother, she will only be more sad!
"Oh? Li Xue's eyes burst out with a knife-like fierce gaze, "You're really a wreck!"
Li Xue and I fell into a new quarrel. Mom watched us from the sidelines, her eyes darkened. Dad was anxiously playing a round next to him, for fear that our husband and wife would quarrel again.
"Alright, alright, you all calm down!" Dad clapped his hands to stop our argument, "Weizi, you can't say that about your wife. Cher, you have to understand your mother-in-law's feelings. "
That night, it was quiet in the bedroom, and I couldn't sleep for a long time. I turned sideways and looked at my wife Li Xue's quiet sleeping face, and my heart was full of mixed feelings.
In today's quarrel, she and I are a little out of shape. I wanted to uphold my mother's authority, but I ignored my wife's feelings. And although she said it reasonably, her words were indeed a little hurtful.
We were husband and wife, and we originally loved each other. However, today's contradictions made me suddenly realize that there are still some estrangements and misunderstandings between us. I always instinctively sided with my parents, and she always felt that I was weak and incompetent.
Perhaps, we are all too complacent to truly understand each other's situation. I am the son of the family, and I naturally want to be filial to my parents. And as a daughter-in-law, she also has her own family of origin to take care of. In the final analysis, the contradictions between us stem from the uneven distribution of interests.
As husband and wife, we should be considerate of each other, not blindly insist on our own opinions. Perhaps, tomorrow I should take the initiative to talk to her and bridge the gap between us.
"Cher, let's have a good talk. I took her hand and spoke in a sincere tone.
Li Xue glanced at me and didn't shake off my hand, but she didn't speak either. I know she's still angry about what happened yesterday.
"I know we all had a bit of a gaffe yesterday. I continued, "There are some misunderstandings and estrangements between us, and if we don't unravel them, they will only grow deeper. "
Li Xue sighed, she knew that what I said made sense.
"And what are you going to do?" She asked me.
"I want to apologize to you sincerely. I bowed my head, "I was on the wrong side yesterday, and I didn't respect your thoughts and feelings. No matter what happens in the future, I will consult with you first, instead of blindly upholding the authority of my parents. "
Li Xue's eyes softened a little, but she didn't let go: "Then how are you going to deal with this matter?" Your mother insists on asking for 3,000 yuan, do we agree or refuse?"
I took a deep breath and looked my wife in the eye sincerely: "I feel that no matter what we do, we will hurt the feelings of one of the parties. Let's find the best of both worlds and make it acceptable to both parties. "
After this dispute, Li Xue and I finally realized how fragile and precious the relationship between family members is.
As husband and wife, we are supposed to love each other and be considerate of each other. However, due to some problems in the distribution of interests, we have fallen into such a tense dispute. The momentary extremism and stubbornness made us both hurt each other and shook the emotional foundation between us.
The conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law often stems from the inability of both parties to reach an agreement on their interests. As young people, we certainly want to have a better life with the money we earn. However, most of the parents' generation want their children to be filial to themselves. The collision of such concepts has caused contradictions between us.
But in any case, blood is thicker than water, and the importance of family is above all else. We should use more patience and wisdom to resolve these contradictions, instead of blindly resting on our laurels. Only by understanding each other and resolving differences with love can our feelings be stronger.
This conflict also made me reflect on the influence of traditional ideas in the modern family.
Most of our generation have received modern education and are relatively open-minded. We advocate the concept of equality, democracy and inclusiveness. However, the parents' generation has been instilled with some traditional hierarchical concepts since childhood, such as "the young and the old are orderly", "husband and wife are different", and so on.
These ideas may have worked back then, but in modern society, they are too old and backward. The reason why the mother is so stubborn is also largely influenced by these traditional ideas. She felt that as an elder, her own words deserved our absolute obedience. And as the younger generation, it is difficult for us to completely get rid of the shackles of these thoughts.
But such a family model obviously can't keep up with the pace of the times. The modern family should be based on equality, democracy and mutual respect. There should be more communication and communication between family members, rather than simply maintaining a hierarchy. Only in this way can the contradictions be resolved in a timely manner and the family atmosphere be more harmonious.
After reflection and communication, Li Xue and I finally found a mutually acceptable solution.
Finally, we also decided to apply for a commercial endowment insurance for both parents. In this way, they will also have basic livelihood security in their old age, and they will not pin all their hopes on us.
I believe that by distributing household income in this way, conflicts can be resolved to the greatest extent and the interests of each party can be satisfied.
"Mom, we've thought it through. I said sincerely, "We will give you and your father 2,000 yuan each for living expenses every month, and I hope you can accept it." "