Written by / First Psychology Writers
Editor / Tommy
In fact, it is not necessarily. Let us look back at the evolution of the institution of human marriage.
In ancient times, partnerships were not fixed, and early blood marriages were first carried out within the clan and later developed into inter-clan marriages.
With the shift in social structure from matrilineal to patrilineal, polygamy gradually developed, an institution that reflected the status of men in society.
In today's world, monogamy is practiced in the vast majority of countries.
For example, monogamy was explicitly stipulated in the Marriage Law of 1950, and this model of marriage has since been widely recognized and legally protected.
Despite this, non-monogamous forms of marriage still exist in many parts of the world.
For example, in several countries in Africa and neighbouring India, not only is polygamy prevalent, but also polyandry patterns.
The well-known blogger Geng Xiangshun once proposed:
"The marriage system is the product of the evolution of human society, although most men and women are united out of love, but the legal marriage has nothing to do with love, it is more concerned with the actual rights, responsibilities and interests, and people's ideals of marriage have a significant difference. ”
He believes that the institution of marriage is not fixed and will be adjusted according to the needs and developments of society.
Monogamy, while seemingly stable, is actually still facing challenges,
There are currently three strange phenomena in society, which are challenging "monogamy" and shaking the foundations of the family.
Strange phenomenon 1: the difference in the division of labor between men and women in social activities
Due to biological differences, the division of labor between men and women in social activities is essentially different, and the social structure further strengthens the division of gender roles.
Through this social division of labor, we can see gender differences - in primitive societies, men relied on physical strength and courage to hunt, while women used delicate thinking and patience to handle domestic matters.
This division of labor continued into agricultural societies and even modern societies, forming a traditional model of male dominance and female dominance.
It is precisely because of this difference in the division of labour that society has different expectations for men and women, for example, in most families, men are responsible for the role of breadwinner of the family as husband and father, while women are mainly responsible for household chores and daily affairs.
Imbalances, such as the lack of financial means for men or the inadequacy of household chores for women, can lead to imbalances in the marital relationship.
The fundamental principle of monogamy is that the relationship between husband and wife should be based on equality.
However, the inequality that has traditionally manifested between men and women in the distribution of social responsibilities and in what society expects of them clearly contradicts this principle.
In addition to differences in the division of work, there are also differences in moral expectations for men and women.
During the Eastern Han Dynasty, scholar Ban Zhao proposed that women should follow, and this concept still has an impact on society today.
This requires not only that women behave in accordance with social norms, but also be morally dignified.
From a socio-psychological perspective, this has led many women to put more restrictions on their behaviour and thus experience greater psychological pressure.
This leads to the second strange phenomenon -
Strange phenomenon 2: over-tolerance of male infidelity
Since the establishment of patriarchal societies, traditional notions of marriage have tended to allow men to have multiple partners.
In other words, men are allowed to have multiple wives and lovers, while women, on the other hand, are restricted to strictly follow the role of wives and regard their husbands as the focus of their lives.
This phenomenon is clearly unfair.
Although gender equality is strongly advocated in modern society, gender inequality is still pervasive in real life.
From the perspective of social cognition, people are obviously more tolerant of male infidelity than women.
For example, after the well-known director Chen Sicheng was exposed for marital cheating, the movies he directed were still selling well. And actress Li Xiaolu, who was also exposed for her infidelity, has almost disappeared from public view. When the well-known Japanese actress Ryoko Hirosue's marital cheating was exposed by the media, her acting career was hit hard.
When an ordinary woman's husband cheats, someone often comforts her and says:
As a result, many women choose to endure. However, this patience did not lead to repentance on the part of the husband, but could only exacerbate the problem.
In fact, many people fail to recognize that "male cheating is common" does not mean that "male cheating is normal".
In modern society, male infidelity is tolerated by excessive tolerance, which seriously threatens the stability of the family, shakes the foundation of the family structure, and has a negative impact on the child in the long run.
While many families ostensibly adhere to monogamy, in reality there may be complex relationships similar to polygamy.
Especially after the threshold for childbearing was lowered, some men and their lovers began to take advantage of the situation for personal gain, which further exacerbated the instability of family relationships.
Strange phenomenon 3: The mentality of getting rich overnight is universal
The pressures of society are not only on the spiritual level, but also permeate all aspects of daily life.
One of the main reasons for China's declining fertility rate is economic pressure, which is an unbearable burden for many young people.
It may be that in the past, marriage only required both parties to know each other well and be approved by the family.
In modern society, if a man wants to marry the woman he loves, simple emotions are no longer enough to meet the needs of marriage.
When considering marriage, most families will consider economic conditions, the nature of their occupation, and their income.
In some cases, whether the man owns a house or a car has even become an important criterion, and many people see marriage as a way to gain wealth.
This situation shows that in the eyes of many people, marriage is not based on equality.
As a result, this concept of marriage has led many people to resist or even resent marriage and childbearing, believing that it is better to focus on improving the quality of their personal life than to maintain such a life.
This brings us to the third influencing factor, which is the get-rich-over-the-night mentality brought about by fast food culture and the information age.
In modern society, a large amount of information is disseminated through mobile phones and the Internet, giving birth to new economic activities such as live streaming.
In this way, many people quickly amassed a large amount of wealth, went from obscurity to well-known, and achieved both fame and fortune.
The economic pressures of the younger generation have contributed to the spread of the get-rich-overnight mentality, and many people are putting their energy into reaping the financial benefits quickly.
Because people's energy is limited, people's demand for marriage naturally decreases.
Therefore, from this point of view, the mentality of young people who seek to get rich overnight is also one of the key factors that weakens the current monogamy.
Open marriage
Among the several marriage and love models that may appear in the future, open marriage is one of them, which has the potential to gradually replace the traditional marriage system.
According to the survey results, 37.5% of women aged 20 to 25 in first-tier cities said they could accept open marriage, while 62.5% still said they were against it, revealing a change in women's thinking.
An open marriage means that even after marriage, couples can still maintain an emotional relationship with other people without the intervention of their partner.
In traditional Chinese culture, this type of marriage is often difficult to recognize.
However, in Western countries, many people favor this model of open and free emotional relationships, believing that it helps to promote the self-growth of the individual.
Open marriages, while they sound edgy, are not without their problems.
Esther, a marriage therapist expert, suggests that this model of marriage is a challenge to the trust of both parties.
Despite its open-ended nature, marriage still involves legal obligations and responsibilities, particularly with regard to the division of property.
Therefore, open marriage requires the spouses to reach a consensus on important issues such as property and procreation, and this model can only achieve the desired effect when both parties agree on its value.
Comparatively, the "cohabitation and not marriage" model seems to be more popular.
Marriage in today's society faces various challenges, and in the traditional Chinese belief that young people are expected to start a family first and then start a business, this tradition is no longer relevant to reality.
Without a financial foundation, it can be very difficult to find the right marriage partner, and marriage itself is a significant financial burden.
Marriage requires a stable place to live, which involves a series of expensive expenses such as housing, bride price, decorations, cars, and weddings, not including the cost of raising children.
In addition, the psychological burden of marriage on modern young people is also very large, and many people find it difficult to get out once they enter marriage.
The model, which allows people to separate at the right time, relieves the pressure of maintaining an unsuitable marriage due to the persuasion of relatives and friends.
Consider the polygamous model, which is often considered immoral in the traditional way.
In fact, this pattern existed in ancient China, but at that time it was limited to men who had the right to choose.
Today, polyandry still exists in places like Nepal, mostly due to resource scarcity and survival needs.
From a psychological point of view, the freshness in a couple relationship is often difficult to maintain for a long time, and the polygamy model provides a solution to meet the needs of those who seek change and freshness, and have strong inner desires.
Looking at the big picture, the institution of marriage is not static.
With the continuous progress of society, people's attitudes and views on marriage are undergoing profound changes, and the traditional marriage system is gradually developing in the direction of diversification.
The End -
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Key words in this article: marriage system, psychology
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