Don't put up with it if you want to hit your child! Patience will bring more harm to your child

Beautiful mom is very handsome

2024-04-23 16:58Posted in Guangdong Parenting Creators

After beating the child that day, he sat alone on the sofa for two hours. For two hours, a voice in my head kept telling me how failed I was.

Ever since I became a mother, I have always told myself that no matter what happens, I can't hit my child.

But the reality is cruel, my maverick little guy always has a way to mess with me. To calm myself down, I would take a deep breath, close my eyes, and silently tell myself: It's not right to hit a child!

Most of the time I did hold back, and it passed like that, and the days seemed to calm again.

But one day, because of a small thing, my emotions poured out like a flood! I yelled at my child, accusing him of being so naughty.

The child's whole body froze, and he hid in fright, he didn't understand why his mother, who was fine just now, suddenly became hideous.

This kind of scene has been played out many times in our house, like labor pains, and it comes from time to time, which is really fatal.

Later, I learned that pain comes from forbearance.

I always think that forbearance can open the sky, but the more you endure, the more negative emotions will accumulate, just like a glass of water, if the water only goes in and out, it will always overflow.

Afterwards, we always couldn't understand why we couldn't bear such a big thing, but because of a small thing, we started beating him.

This little thing is just the fuse, and what really irritates us is the problems that are not properly addressed, and the unmet needs.

When we can't bear the emotional outburst, we often love to yell at the child to death and beat him to death.

For a while, my relationship with my child was very strained, and the two of us did not like each other and had constant conflicts. Fortunately, I later enlightened myself and made some changes, and my relationship with my children gradually became healthy.

This change has to start with teaching children to write names.

Thinking that I would go to elementary school in one year, I decided to ask my child to write his own name when he entered the senior class.

The first time I wrote it, the second and third time I asked him to write, and I found all kinds of reasons not to write, so I had to shout and write while crying. Later, it turned out that he only liked to write the middle word.

In a flash of light, I suddenly understood that writing names is too difficult for children.

Before writing the name, the child almost never wrote Chinese characters, his name only has fewer strokes in the middle, plus he usually likes to do things with his left hand, and the other two characters have more strokes, and it is very difficult to write with his right hand.

Knowing this, I didn't ask him to practice writing names, but started with a set of Chinese characters to draw red, and let him start with the simplest practice.

When I lowered the difficulty of the task, the child no longer cheated on the problem and stopped writing, and sometimes even took the initiative to ask for more words. When we want to beat and scold our children, we should not bear it, but readjust the perspective of understanding the problem.

Seeing your child procrastinating on homework, you see that it is very hot, and every minute of your child's procrastination is doubly stimulating for you. In fact, there is a reason for the child's procrastination, maybe the homework is too difficult for him to start, but he is not good at asking for help.

At this time, what we need to do is to give him some ideas and help him break down large tasks into small sub-tasks if necessary, so as to help him slowly enter a good learning state.

Unfortunately, many times we only see our children's procrastination, and we don't think about why our children procrastinate.

It is the nature of the brain to take refuge, and if it is difficult to learn and the child does not know what to do in the first step, he will want to play.

Because thinking is brain-intensive and playing doesn't require much energy, children don't want to solve problems (do homework).

If you happen to have a strong working memory and are born with a natural knowledge of how to break down big tasks into smaller ones and complete them one by one, you will be even more intolerant of your child's procrastination.

But let's think about it differently, and things are much easier: children are procrastinating in learning, and there must be some problems. When a child encounters a difficult situation, he or she deserves help, not a lesson.

Straighten this out, and you won't reprimand your child for procrastination, but find ways to help him and try to be his partner.

If every time a child encounters difficulties and setbacks, parents can support him and generously affirm his efforts when he makes progress, then the child will definitely get better and better.

In short, when the child does not perform well, do not bear it, patience is not able to keep up with yourself, and you will always collapse one day when you go against yourself every day.

The smart way to do this is to change your thinking, think about why your child is like this, find out the deep cause, and solve it!

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