For many families, if the elderly do not help their children take care of their children, it will be difficult for the young people to survive, or at least the quality of life will decline a lot.
Therefore, you see that in the community, most of the children under the age of 3 are elderly, and the parents themselves are in the minority.
According to the survey, more than 60 per cent of children under the age of two and a half are mainly cared for by their grandparents, and about 40 per cent of children over the age of three who are already in kindergarten are picked up by their grandparents.
Some elderly people come to the city from the countryside to help their children take care of their children, and some elderly people come to strange and unfamiliar cities, just to make their children free up time to develop their own careers, make their grandchildren's childhood happier, and make everyone's court more harmonious.
It's just that, with the same grandchildren (grandchildren), some old people feel very happy, while some old people feel very painful, why is this?
I think that most of the elderly who feel psychologically happy with their grandchildren are from these three types of families.
01. Families with healthy elderly people
Some elderly people have good physical fitness, although they are about 60 years old, but they are stronger than young people in physical work, even if they do not bring their grandchildren, they will go out to climb, travel, and exercise.
The process of bringing grandchildren is not particularly tiring for them, it is completely within their own tolerance, they not only exercise their bodies, but also enrich their spiritual life, and help their children, which is very fulfilling, so they will feel happy.
On the contrary, those elderly people who are in poor physical health, too old, and too busy to take care of themselves, do not have the extra physical strength to take care of their energetic grandchildren. If they are forced to take their grandchildren in desperation, their happiness will naturally be greatly reduced.
02. The elderly in the family have love and sensibility in their hearts
It is the responsibility to be willing to take grandchildren willingly, which is the consensus of those far-sighted grandparents and grandparents.
They think that it is an instinctive human need to make fun of grandchildren, and there is nothing to praise for it. Therefore, they take pride in bringing their grandchildren, and they enjoy living with their children's families and being able to use their spare energy.
They know that their sons, daughters-in-law, daughters-in-law and sons-in-law are working hard in their high-pressure careers through their own efforts, and they are willing to get married and have children, which is the starting point of the children's perfect life, so they are committed to the children.
These elderly people are often knowledgeable, far-sighted, and willing to do their best to help their children. They have the confidence and goals to educate their grandchildren well, which can not only help solve the children's worries, let them devote themselves to work without distraction, but also subsidize their small family within their ability. The most crucial point is that they never think that they have paid too much in their hearts, and that it is a good tradition of the Chinese nation to support one generation after another.
There is an aunt's message that is very touching:
"In order to take my granddaughter, I closed the company, and the nanny didn't feel at ease, although my daughter-in-law didn't earn as much money as me, and I didn't want her to be a housewife, for fear that she would be out of society. I suffer a little bit like this, but I am very happy to be with my granddaughters and watch them grow up day by day, and it is good for my son and daughter-in-law to go to work happily without worries. ”
With such an open-minded old man with children, how can a son and daughter-in-law not feel it? How can they not be grateful?
Some old people are reluctant to take their grandchildren, always thinking that this is helping their daughter-in-law to do things, and there are grievances in their hearts, and their thoughts will inevitably be reflected in the details of life, and these small emotions are estimated to be felt by their children.
Although some elderly people are old, they still have a heavy sense of play, and they take their grandchildren to block themselves from playing mahjong and going out to play, so they naturally have emotions.
Therefore, they do not feel happiness when they bring grandchildren.
03. Sons, daughters-in-law, daughters-in-law and sons-in-law have high emotional intelligence and gratitude
Some sons, daughters-in-law, daughters and sons-in-law can understand their parents' efforts and express them in words and actions, so that the elderly in the family can feel happier with their grandchildren.
Children with high emotional intelligence know that the child is their own, and the parents come to take the child only to "help", not the main force, and at night and during rest time, they should take the child by themselves. Such children will also give the elderly a holiday from time to time, so that they can also have their own leisure time.
I have to say that some sons are pampered and raised by their parents, thinking that their parents take things for granted, they don't know how to be considerate of their parents, and they are picky everywhere.
Some daughters-in-law think that the old man is bringing his grandson for his son, and it has nothing to do with him, and he doesn't feel that his mother-in-law is helping her at all. It can be so reasonable, but finding a father-in-law and mother-in-law who are willing to pay for their sons and grandchildren is worthy of gratitude and respect for their efforts. In addition, one of the manifestations of love is "love for the house and the house", love the husband, love the family, you should respect the husband's parents. The same goes for a son-in-law.
Some daughters-in-law feel that their in-laws are particularly uncomfortable living in their own homes with children, and they are not in a good mood. If you want to trouble the elderly to help, you have to find a way to solve the difficulty, such as living separately, such as looking at the opening point. I think that as long as there are no contradictions in principle, family trivialities don't have to be taken to heart, and it is better to turn a blind eye. After all, who doesn't have a little temper and bad habits?
Just like an elderly friend said: Most of the elderly who don't feel happy are not unhappy with their grandchildren, but because they have to take care of two waste parents while taking care of their grandchildren.
I advise young people who need their parents to help with the baby, after getting married and having a baby, it is an independent family, don't take the parents' contribution for granted, parents are willing to pay time and physical strength to bring their grandchildren, support you who have become adults, the fundamental reason is because of "love", love your children, love this family, and hope that this family can go on in harmony and happiness.
Therefore, as an adult, you should take responsibility for your own life and repay the love of your parents.
It can be said that parents have a strong sense of responsibility and good character, and children have excellent family education, and most of them will know how to be grateful and filial to their parents when they become adults; on the contrary, parents are narrow-minded and selfish, and it is difficult for them to educate children with good moral character, and these shortcomings are even more prominent after children get married.
In short, the more members of a family, the more they need to tolerate each other, understand and respect each other, and the more they need the elders in the family to be sensible and guide their children and grandchildren to build a warm and harmonious family together.
Young people in their 20s, parents for the first time, taking care of children for the first time, it is inevitable that there will be immaturity and inappropriate things, as parents and elders, they have the right and obligation to teach them how to be parents and how to be children.
Children are the backbone of the family, and they should work and live hard to achieve better career development, lay the material and spiritual foundation for the family, and also set a good example for their children.
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Wanqiu talks about parenting, the mother of the two babies who loves to learn and think, welcome to pay attention, complain about the chickens and dogs that raise babies together, share the happiness of raising babies, and summarize the lessons of raising babies.
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