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"Xiaofang, take a look at this new house, isn't it beautiful? Your mother-in-law will live here in the future. Zhao Jun said to me happily. I looked at the brand new two-bedroom apartment in front of me, with modern and simple decoration style, furniture and appliances, and it was indeed much better than the old and dilapidated bungalow that my mother-in-law lived in before.
"yes, that's good. I smiled and said, "My mother-in-law will definitely be much more comfortable living in this environment in the future." "
The mother-in-law stood aside, squinting at the brand new home. "It's okay, it's just a little small. She glanced at me, and her tone was a little unfriendly.
I was a little confused, but I still smiled and said, "Mother-in-law, your old man's house is just right to live in, and no matter how big it is, it's not convenient to take care of it." "
The mother-in-law frowned and did not answer.
The renovation worker also moved in the last piece of furniture, and Zhao Jun said with satisfaction: "Okay, it's all done." Mother, do you want to go in and have a look?"
"Go in, go in. The mother-in-law nodded and walked to the door.
I thought my mother-in-law needed me to accompany me, so I followed. Who knew that my mother-in-law suddenly stretched out her hand to stop me, and said with a somewhat stern face: "You just stand here, I'll go in by myself." "
I was choked by my mother-in-law's words and was stunned on the spot. Zhao Jun also saw that something was wrong, and hurriedly said, "Mom, what's wrong?
"This is my new house, my own turf. The mother-in-law said categorically, "What is Xiaofang? She doesn't have to come in." "
My heart sank, and my blood seemed to freeze. As a daughter-in-law, I have been obedient to my mother-in-law since I got married. I really didn't expect my mother-in-law to exclude me so nakedly. Tears rolled uncontrollably in his eyes.
"Mom, what you say is really hurtful!" Zhao Jun also looked angry, "What did Xiaofang do, how can you say that about her?"
The mother-in-law turned a deaf ear, turned her head and walked into the door. The door slammed shut in front of me, and I was shut out.
I sat on the bench outside the door, tears finally welling up in my eyes. My emotions were more complicated than ever: grievances, anger, confusion, and these emotions were intertwined and left me breathless.
I sat on the bench, tears streaming down my face, and my mind began to replay the moments I had with my mother-in-law.
I remember that on the day of the wedding, my mother-in-law did not show much joy. She just glanced at me coldly and shoved the red envelope into my hand. "You'll have to wait on my son in the future. She said earnestly.
From that day on, I treated my mother-in-law as filial as my own mother. Every holiday, I will personally cook a few specialty dishes and take my children to visit my mother-in-law. Sometimes if my mother-in-law is unwell, I will take the time to chat with her and take care of her.
But my mother-in-law always ignored me. She never seemed to really see me as a family, and everything I did seemed to be taken for granted in her eyes. Sometimes, she would even praise my rich and idle wife in front of me, and in contrast, she would call my hard-working and thrifty daughter-in-law a "stingy ghost".
I'm really wronged. I really think of my mother-in-law as my own mother, but she always ignores me, as if we are just outsiders forever.
I finally couldn't help it anymore and poured out all the grievances in my heart. "Mother-in-law, I really treat you as filial piety as my own mother, why do you always treat me like this? Could it be that in your eyes, I will always be just an outsider?"
"What do you know? I'm my age, I'm used to being alone, don't take it to heart. The mother-in-law said disapprehantly.
"But mother-in-law, I am your daughter-in-law, why do you never consider me your own?" I almost wept, "I'm serving you so wholeheartedly, why can't you see it?"
"Serve me? that's how it should be, what else do you want?" The mother-in-law's tone began to become a little disgusted, "Don't think too highly of yourself, you are just a daughter-in-law, and you have no share." "
I was completely heartbroken by my mother-in-law's words. The two of us had a big fight and vented all the dissatisfaction in our hearts. In the end, I left with red eyes, and my mother-in-law also looked unhappy.
That night, I was tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep at all. My mother-in-law's words, "You are just a daughter-in-law, you have no share" have been echoing in my mind.
Just when I was at a loss, Zhao Jun suddenly pushed the door and came in. "Xiaofang, Mom explained to me today. He sat down on the edge of the bed and said with some embarrassment, "She said that the reason she wouldn't let you in the new house was because it was the house I bought for her, and she wanted to live alone." She doesn't mean to snub you, she's just used to being alone. "
"But she never really thought of me as her own. I choked up and said, "In her eyes, I will always be an outsider." "
"Mom said that she saw you as her own daughter, but the expression was too straightforward and rusty. Zhao Jun explained, "Don't take it to heart, she is an old woman with a weird temper." "
After this big fight, I began to reflect on my attitude towards my mother-in-law. Maybe I'm really too complacent, thinking that my mother-in-law should treat me like her own daughter. But everyone's habits and ways of life are different, and I shouldn't impose them on others.
The mother-in-law is old, and the conservative style of life is deep-rooted, which will inevitably make modern people feel a little puzzled. But that doesn't mean she's deliberately trying to distance herself from me, she's just expressing her affection in her own way.
However, if you listen and understand each other with your heart, the generation gap is not an insurmountable gap. I had to change my rigid mindset and really feel my mother-in-law's inner thoughts with empathy, rather than resting on my laurels and asking her to do exactly what I did.
Since then, I have voluntarily changed the way I get along with my mother-in-law. I no longer insist that she "treat me as my own daughter", but try to adapt to her habits.
Once, I went to a new house to chat with my mother-in-law. She suddenly pulled out an old jewelry box from the cabinet, which contained some of the jewelry from her youth. "Look at this, it's your grandmother's dowry for me. The mother-in-law smiled and said, "I was so happy then." "
Next, my mother-in-law gushed me about her youthful anecdotes. I didn't interrupt her, just listened quietly, occasionally echoing a few words. Gradually, I found that my mother-in-law is actually very warm and delicate in her heart, but she is old and her life style is more conservative.
Since then, my mother-in-law's attitude towards me has changed. She no longer ignores me, but takes the initiative to ask me to cook, play chess, and chat with me. Sometimes, she would even bring out old objects from the past and tell me stories.
I realized that the reason why my mother-in-law was so unfamiliar with me before was because she didn't understand the inner world of me, a "modern person". Once you listen and understand each other with your heart, the generation gap is not terrible. Instead, it will become a fresh and fun experience that allows us to be more tolerant and appreciative of each other.
This incident made me realize that there is indeed a generation gap between my mother-in-law and me. We live in different eras, and our ideas are naturally different. My mother-in-law's conservative lifestyle made it difficult for her to fully accept me as a "modern" daughter-in-law.
However, as long as you listen and understand each other with your heart, the generation gap is not an insurmountable chasm. I began to try to understand my mother-in-law's philosophy of life, and my mother-in-law was trying to treat me as an "outsider" with a more open mind.
For example, once, my mother-in-law saw me cleaning and offered to help. "Young people nowadays are too diligent to exhaust themselves. She said as she wiped the table.
I smiled and said, "Mother-in-law, you can rest well, I am young and strong, and this little work is not a problem." "
"You're just too diligent. The mother-in-law sighed, "When I was young, I didn't work as hard as you. However, your generation pays attention to hygiene and habits, and I also appreciate it. "
We just looked at each other and laughed, and the conversation naturally expanded. I finally felt that my mother-in-law was not deliberately alienating me, but that we lived in different environments and times, and our ways of thinking were a little different. Once we are considerate and tolerant of each other, the so-called "generation gap" will no longer exist.
Slowly, we built a relationship of mutual understanding and tolerance. My mother-in-law began to really see me as "one of her own", and I learned to accept some of my mother-in-law's "quirks" with a more open mind. The barriers between us have finally been dissolved, replaced by a new sense of intimacy.
Just last month, it was my mother-in-law's 70th birthday. My son, Zhao Jun, happily invited our family to a birthday party in the new house.
"Mom, look at this table of dishes, but they are all made by Xiaofang herself!" Zhao Jun said with a smile.
The mother-in-law looked up and down at the various dishes on the table, her eyes full of appreciation. "Well, these are Xiaofang's specialties, and I like to eat them the most. She nodded, and there was a rare lack of stiffness and perfunctory in her tone.
I smiled a little embarrassedly. Since the last time I reached a "mutual understanding" with my mother-in-law, our relationship has become extraordinarily harmonious. My mother-in-law no longer ignores me, but takes the initiative to praise me for the deliciousness of my cooking.
"Mother-in-law, you can try this braised pork ribs, which is my new method. "I gave my mother-in-law a big piece of pork ribs and told her to drink more soup.
The mother-in-law took a sip and nodded in satisfaction. "Xiaofang, you really have good cooking skills. She suddenly took my hand and said with a smile, "In the future, we will often come to your house as a guest and try your craftsmanship." "
I was amused by my mother-in-law's affectionate words. "Mother-in-law, you just have a good rest at home, we just go to your house often to cook. "
"Hey, you kid. The mother-in-law shook her head helplessly, but her eyes were full of kindness.
At this moment, Zhao Jun brought a birthday cake with 70 small candles on it, and the candlelight was shining. "Mom, I wish you a happy birthday!
My mother-in-law smiled and blew out the candles, then suddenly took my hand and asked me to sit next to her. "Xiaofang, you have to learn more, and in the future, our family's traditional cuisine will depend on you to inherit it. "
I was a little flattered and nodded my head repeatedly. My mother-in-law actually admitted that I was her "own person" in front of my family. An indescribable warmth and happiness welled up in my heart.
At this moment, my mother-in-law picked up the cake knife again and said to me with a smile: "Come, you can help my mother-in-law cut this birthday cake first." In the future, all the big and small things at home will be taken care of by you. "
I took the cake knife, carefully cut a small piece of cake, and handed it to my mother-in-law. The mother-in-law opened her mouth to take a bite and nodded contentedly. At that moment, I felt the warmth of being fully veiled and recognized.
Looking at my mother-in-law's smiling face, my heart was mixed.
I think maybe in the eyes of my mother-in-law, I will always be an "outsider". Because we live in different times, our ways of thinking are very different. My mother-in-law's conservative philosophy of life made it difficult for her to fully accept me as a "modern" daughter-in-law, and I always subjectively demanded that she veil me unconditionally.
However, "outsider" does not mean "stranger", on the contrary, it means a new, unique, and worthy of knowing and understanding. Once the heart is opened, outsiders can become their own people. This is the true meaning of human interaction.
There is indeed a certain generation gap between me and my mother-in-law, but as long as you listen and understand each other with your heart, the generation gap is not terrible. Instead, it will become a fresh and fun experience that allows us to be more tolerant and appreciative of each other.
Just like today, my mother-in-law finally accepted me completely and treated me as "her own person". And I've learned to be more open-minded about some of her "quirks". The barriers between us have finally been bridged and replaced by a sense of intimacy that has never been felt before.
I believe that as long as we treat each other with sincerity, any gap that seems unbridgeable will turn into a harmonious interpersonal relationship. My mother-in-law may always treat me as an "outsider", but the relationship between us is the most intimate.