Recently, high school student Chen Yihang's "Little Zhou Houfu" has been widely spread on the Internet. I commented under the official account "Popular History Lesson": "For ordinary high school students, it is rare to write like this, but Fu is rhyme, and basic stylistic knowledge is still required." ”
This comment was pinned to the top, and the author himself replied to me, saying that he was "lazy and didn't go out of his way to rhyme." This was originally nothing, but then there were some people who did not have much ancient literary literacy who said "don't stick to the rules", "don't be old", "just do what you want". I don't reply to these comments either. Because it's not something that can be made clear in three or two sentences.
So, apart from the so-called "minutiae" such as rhyme, what is the level of Chen's essay? My evaluation is: It can be seen that this student has read a lot of works, but there is still a lack of tempering in the writing, and it is difficult to even make the basic sentences smooth. The most incomprehensible thing is the "expert level" advertised in some media. I am also a beginner in old literature, but I also know many people who are first-class in contemporary prose, and I believe that Chen is not a little bit away from the so-called "expert".
The following is a brief analysis of some of Chen's shortcomings in writing, and I will only extract some of the problematic sentences in order. The original text is available on the Internet, so I won't put it here. The support is up.
The main problem here is "yes". Changing it to "and" may have to be smoother, "zhiyi" is a state of holding the chin with the hand, and "nai" here means "then, on", which obviously does not make sense.
Gu Yu rested on the ground, turned out to be a stone platform.
"棹" can only be used as a "boat" solution. The author said earlier that he fell asleep on his desk, and then "got up" and got up to see the courtyard. How can you look back and see that you have "rested" and become a boat again? This is illogical. Later, the author came to the sentence "Look at the courtyard", it has already been started once, can it be a second time?
Plum and peach, a common spring breeze;
Except for the first four words, it's basically a patchwork. It is relatively rare for "徕" to be followed by an object, and there are not many example sentences, and the only one is still an object with a person. It's barely plausible, but it's blunt. "Pavilion Nan" is not very good at fighting against the previous one, and the word "Nan" was also coined by the author, which means that it should be "slender Nanmu". The ancients used "颀" to describe the slenderness of people, so it was built very stiffly here, and it was already similar to a mooring.
The author's intention should be to use two monosyllabic words, "Shuo" (early morning) and "Xi" (bright light) to form a phrase like "sunshine in the early morning", but it is too blunt. Sentence formation in ancient Chinese is not like this: putting together words that seem to make sense to form a plausible sentence. "Doping" is no longer translatable here, it is used as a verb to mean "to hold" or "to smear". When I say "shengzao", basically people who have some common knowledge of ancient Chinese can understand what I mean, that is, it is very jerky to read, and it can be expressed better and clearer.
It is just a small building that is extremely luxurious.
The use of "cha" here is also very strange, "Shuowen": cha, intentions. The adverb is "just right", and it doesn't make sense here. To see the author's level of ancient writing, you only need to look at the use of virtual words, because many times the stacking of rhetoric can dazzle people's eyes, and the use of virtual words cannot hide flaws.
Yu felt that the dragon was rarely coming, and the beauty was rare, so he Shi Meng Lang knocked in.
"Meng Lang" is an adjective, and it is especially strange to follow "Shi". "Shi" is used as a verb, and it should be followed by a noun phrase, such as "the present king is a government and benevolent" (Mencius) and so on. The "benevolence" here is "benevolence".
The palace lights are flickering, shining on the four walls, and the cool candles are rekindled, and the eight pillars are magnificent.
"Linlang" refers to the sound of jade hitting each other, how can it be "yao"? And it does not match the "magnificent" in the back. "Xi" is rarely used as a verb followed by an object, and it is rarely used as a simple meaning of "shine", and there is only one case, which also refers to sunshine. These two sentences are very poorly made, and they are already close to archaic sentences.
The scarf on the wall, the Miao Han of the poor Danqing, the carrot next to the door, the pure heart of the pine chrysanthemum.
The word "scarf" was also coined by the author, and I guess it is probably a cloth hanging on the wall. What is speechless is that the publication "Lu Xunfeng", which published the article, gave a note: Xuan Towel, referring to rice paper. I suspect that this note was written by the author himself, and no matter how much "towel" is not "paper", the difference between the two is very big. The latter "Poor Danqing Miaohan" cannot be translated, because Danqing generally refers to painting, and Miaohan refers to good words, what is "good words for painting"? The last two sentences are barely okay, and "exhausted" is not very appropriate.
After becoming an immortal lu, the new style of "Backyard" is noisy.
"Hustle" is generally used as an adjective or noun phrase (without the noise of cars and horses), and there is very little use of verbs, let alone a single word and an object. The author has accumulated a considerable vocabulary, but there is still a lack of understanding of its proper use.
The preface of the six-hole chase Huan Yi's "Plum Blossom", and the fish listen to it.
The overlapping word "preface" was also coined by the author, and it was not used in ancient texts, which is puzzling. It's not that you can't make words, you have to be ancient, but you have to have a basis for making words, and after all, ancient Chinese has a mature vocabulary system, and words must be made within a reasonable range. What's more, the "order" here also corresponds to the previous "Lingling".
肉声潜竹风之侪，靡音谐丝索之俦。
Almost silent. "Diving ...... "Harmony...... "Zhiyi" are specious sentences made up by the author, and there is no way to translate them.
But he had a coquettish voice in his ear, and said: "Lang Jun has come to Jindongtian at the beginning, how much can he steal a little joy?"
It's not appropriate to use "de" here, even if you use "smell". The commentary says that "can steal a few joys" is a completely sick sentence, and "stealing" as an adverb means "secretly, secretly", which is not very reasonable; the commentary says that "joy" means "joy and joy," and "a few times" means "how much," and the following "欤" should be translated as "?", which is also completely unreasonable. The whole sentence is extremely incomprehensible and strange.
The following paragraph is to describe Xiao Zhouhou's appearance and tell his story, too redundant, I won't say it one by one, there are no big problems, there are many small problems, and the "que" in it is obviously a typo. Even if it is the correct "阕", this usage is very strange. There is a sentence in it that is not very well used, one of the "Yu" in this article has appeared, and then it is strange to use a third-person "to say", and the second "to say" is from bottom to top, and there is no relationship between up and down here.
Let's go straight to the last two paragraphs.
Yu Shao is literary and talented, and he has no residual strength, so he will stop for this.
How do you translate "powerless"? The word "Yi" in it is very strange. What the author wants to express is "less literary talent, no more power, stop for this".
I won't go into the rest of the details, because there are already many problems that can be seen from these problems. It should be noted that this is not a bone in the egg, and what I have pointed out is basically sentences that seriously violate the basic linguistic logic of ancient Chinese, that is, any scholar who has read some ancient texts can see at a glance that they are sick sentences and made up sentences. There are a lot of details that I don't want to go into and don't have to say.
So all in all, putting aside the problem of the form of "endowment", just in terms of content, it is also full of loopholes. My evaluation is still like this, as a high school student, to be able to write such an article shows that I have read a lot of works of the ancients, and I can be regarded as very good among my peers. But even if this article is far from a decent ancient text, it is still a lot away. Not to mention what kind of "expert level". Chen can't do the most basic to write articles smoothly, and many of them still have to rely on vocabulary to pile up, so it can be seen that the foundation of ancient literature is actually very weak, but compared with people who have not been exposed to any old literature, he is just a leader.
There are the following points that make people speechless. Needless to say, some public accounts have launched translations of this article, so how did they translate the sentences? In ancient Chinese translation, it was necessary to "implement the words and correspond one by one", even if it was a paraphrase, it was necessary to have a foundation, and these so-called "translations" just showed that they had little knowledge. I myself am just a lover and a beginner of old literature, and even I can see so many mistakes, let alone the princes who are more educated than me?