The wife is gone, and the children have finished dealing with the aftermath and go to work.
Sitting in a quiet room, thinking about the time when the husband and wife fell in love, there were bursts of sourness in my heart.
The terrible thing is that some elderly people can't get out of the grief of losing their partners for a long time, resulting in their children having to accompany them, delaying their earning and working.
In order to fill the gap in their relationship, many elderly people will remarry, or find someone they can talk to and live together.
In fact, there are many disadvantages of remarriage, and secondly, whether the relationship is strong or not depends mainly on the face of the children and grandchildren. If the other party has minor children, or has to take care of grandchildren for a long time, and does not have a pension, it will be a great burden and the quality of life will be reduced.
Wise old people always go with the flow, grasp the laws of fate, and choose the following ways to live to add blessings to the rest of their lives.
01
Develop your hobbies and keep yourself busy.
"Tao'an Dream Memories" wrote: "People have no habits and cannot be friends, and they are not affectionate; ”
People who don't have hobbies don't have affection, and their spirits are sluggish, and they have nothing to do all day long. Or did something, but was not interested, whined.
The laws of life need to change according to the actual situation.
I used to walk and travel with my wife every day. More likely, you will take care of your spouse with limited mobility for a long time and slowly send him away.
Now, you step out of being a "babysitter" and learn to find your own happiness.
The ancients said, "The Tao is different, and it is not conspiratory." ”
It will be uncomfortable to be with people who are on different paths, but it will be very pleasant to be with people who are on the same road.
If you find fellow travelers, you have to show your hobbies and attract them.
Maybe your hobby is very secret, and it doesn't matter. The world is full of wonders. What you like, and what others like at the same time.
In the TV series "North and South", Bai Huijing lost her husband, and she is also a gray-haired grandmother. But instead of being idle, she sang and recited.
Soon, he became a member of the singing team. The beautiful singing attracted a lot of onlookers, and I also felt a sense of accomplishment.
Because I have a hobby, doing things every day has become "happy and tired", instead of fighting spirits.
As Mr. Li Yinhe said: "Only when you have a real hobby for something can you enjoy the process of doing it and get happiness from it." ”
Hobbies are the best teachers to guide you forward.
02
Learn to enjoy solitude and let life be quiet.
In "One Hundred Years of Solitude", it is said: "The secret of a happy old age is nothing else, but to make a decent agreement with loneliness." ”
Loneliness is something you are born with, even if you have a wife and children by your side, you will still be lonely. After all, no one is a roundworm in your heart, and you can understand everything.
As long as a person can take care of himself, he must learn to be self-sufficient, as long as he wants to open up, there is no flame mountain that he can't pass.
In the process of living alone, it is not necessarily a good thing to be able to make your own decisions about everything.
Wang Yangming of the Ming Dynasty was persecuted by the eunuch Liu Jin and was demoted to Guizhou.
Back then, he lived in a small cave. Nothing but shelter from the wind and rain.
If it comes, it will be safe. He began to think, and also analyzed the words and deeds of the locals, and developed empathy.
wrote "The Legend of He Shaoxuan": "The people of Yi are good and evil, and they are straightforward. Beginning to to, no room to end, living between the thorns, then Yu also; moved to the east peak, on the stone cave and dwelling, and yin to damp. ”
It turns out that the locals like to scold people, which is a manifestation of a straightforward personality and can directly point out the shortcomings of others. People threw a few sticks of wood at me to build a small house......
The history books recorded: "Suddenly in the middle of the night, I realized the purpose of knowing things, and if there was someone in my sleep, I didn't feel the leap, and the followers were shocked." ”
One night, he suddenly figured it out, and thus enlightenment began—the heart is reason, and knowledge and action are one;
The happiness of life should not be sought externally, but by yourself.
If you use external objects to fulfill yourself, firewood, rice, oil and salt, mountains, rivers and lakes, doors and windows of huts are all picturesque.
Today's old people have a very good life, they don't lack anything, but they don't feel happy. Learn to enjoy solitude, you won't compare yourself with others, you won't pursue things that don't belong to you, and your heart will be clear.
One person, one world, one leaf, one Bodhi. This is "you".
03
Always help others and let life integrate into the big family.
When people reach their seventies and eighties, are they worthless? No, no.
Eighty-year-old people can also become a benchmark for society and leave a legacy of virtue and happiness for their children and grandchildren.
Look at Bai Fangli, after entering old age, he spent more than 20 years pedaling a tricycle, and the money he earned was donated to students in need.
Before and after, he donated more than 300,000 yuan.
Approaching the age of 90, I am still busy, always thinking that there are many children who need to help myself.
The daughter refused to let him pedal the three wheels, saying, "I saw him pedaling on the street. Looking at that figure, the feeling in my heart was really uncomfortable, and I couldn't say it. It's just that he feels sorry for him, exposed to the sun and rain, and others look at him and think he is a lonely old man with no children and no daughters. ”
Bai Fangli replied: "Don't worry about me, I'm fine." I feel very comfortable living like this. ”
Yes, it is more blessed to give than to receive.
You reach out when someone else needs help. Your hands become very warm, and when you give your heart, your heart is extremely light.
You're old and you don't have a wife, but you have time to take care of your neighbors. If you can afford it, you can also participate in public welfare organizations.
No matter what aspect you do good deed from, it is a way to integrate into society. If you love society, society will love you. When you are very old, you are not afraid that no one will take care of you - how can there be a reason for a well-wisher to be excluded from society?
Sima Guang also said: "If you leave your wealth to your children and grandchildren, your children and grandchildren may not be able to keep it, and if you leave a book for your children and grandchildren, your children and grandchildren may not be able to read it." It is better to accumulate virtue, it is a long-term plan for future generations. ”
04
Time is moving, life is changing, family circumstances are changing, nothing is eternal.
Always go with the flow and actively deal with change and impermanence.
You have to believe that your deceased wife also hopes that you will live a good life in the world and have sunshine every day.
Sadness is inevitable, but no amount of sadness will be replaced by happiness, just as darkness is dispelled by dawn.
In the future, how many years you can live is uncertain, but you must think about it in the long run.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.