When it comes to old-age care, we will immediately think of a saying: "Accumulate grain to prevent hunger, raise children to prevent old age." ”
As long as you have money in your hands and have raised a few children, you will have nothing to worry about in your old age.
I used to think this was the case, but since my grandmother passed away, I don't think so.
In a flash, my grandmother passed away for more than ten years, and I recalled her last years, there was the cruelty of pension, the misfortune of the family, and the lack of foresight as a person.
"Plans can't keep up with changes", and there are very few people who can cope with changes;
01
Jigu does not prevent hunger: when people are old, the money in their hands will become a hot potato.
My grandmother was born before the liberation, and spent the first half of her life in the village, facing the loess with her back to the sky.
It was probably when my grandmother was in her forties that people's thinking began to change, and my grandmother also adapted to the times and opened a small shop in the town, selling small snacks, clothes and pants, etc., which was very miscellaneous, and was also called a grocery store locally.
Relying on the small shop, my grandmother's life is slowly getting better. In addition, my grandfather has been studying for a few years, knows some bookkeeping methods, and manages the money properly, and he has more than enough every year.
When my grandmother was in her sixties, she had gray hair, so the shop had to close.
My grandfather passed away in his seventies, and the family was completely cut off from their financial resources.
In the long run, my grandmother will keep the family's savings, grow some vegetables by herself, and raise a few chickens, and this life will be stable.
When my grandmother was in her eighties, the stability of the economy was broken.
Back then, my eldest uncle's son was going to study in the provincial capital, but the family had no money. My grandmother thought that studying was a good thing and could not be delayed, so she took out more than 3,000 yuan to pay for tuition.
After graduating, my uncle's son went to Fujian to teach. She didn't pay her back to her grandmother, and she didn't ask for it.
After several other uncles learned about the situation, they begged for money from their grandmother for reasons such as "buying a motorized boat and investing in an orchard". I can't tell if I want to borrow money or just take it.
If the grandmother refuses, the uncles compare: "Your money can be given to your grandson, but may it not be given to your son?"
When my grandmother was nearly 90 years old, my uncle carried out a thorough cleanup of the deposits, and there were more than 40,000 yuan. In addition, my grandmother also has an old-age allowance and a pension of 100 yuan a month.
Now that Uncle Xiao has calculated the money, let it be managed by Uncle Xiao. There is a unanimous opinion.
Since the money arrived at my uncle's house, my grandmother's eating, drinking, and Lazar have been very unfree, but I can't say anything, and when I open my mouth, it's a quarrel.
As for people, one day, they will be old enough that "money can't be controlled". Especially some elderly people who have been bedridden for a long time can't crawl to buy vegetables and withdraw money by themselves. Although mobile phones can be used to order takeout, the elderly do not necessarily use smartphones.
When people get old, they will be confused and even demented. No matter how much money you have, how can you support your own life?
02
Raising children is not to prevent old age: there are many children, and everyone has selfishness, thinking about their little ninety-nine.
My grandmother had seven children.
The second son died young in his thirties.
Therefore, the one who can really support his grandmother has six children: two daughters and four sons.
When my grandmother was 90 years old, she was completely confused, and she had to be delivered to her for food, sleeping, getting up, and going to the toilet.
In order to support their grandmother, the children held a family meeting.
The third uncle said: "I am the son-in-law of someone else's family, and I can't say for sure that I take care of the elderly." ”
My aunt said, "I'm a married woman, and I haven't taken a penny from my mother's family, so it's okay to see my mother once in a while, but it won't work to take care of me for a long time." Besides, I'm also sick, and I'm out of breath when I walk a few steps. ”
The younger uncle said: "Although my mother's money is in my hands, it has long been spent over the years. I have also helped buy vegetables and chop firewood for many years, which can be regarded as benevolent and righteous. ”
The fourth uncle then said: "The person in charge of the money, he knows where the money goes. In the past, when I built my own orchard, the money I took from my mother didn't count?"
The eldest uncle did not attend the meeting because he was terminally ill. The eldest aunt arrived at the scene and sighed: "My family is poor, and there are patients in my family, how can I take care of the elderly?"
There is a saying in the countryside: "It's okay to beat, it's okay to scold, it's okay to be fooled." ”
Every child thinks about what benefits he has gained from his parents' family financially, and what he will lose when he is old in the future, and how his small family will develop so as not to be dragged down by his parents' old age.
I also have children who are very willing to support their parents, but when they see that other siblings are unwilling to support them, their hearts are unbalanced. As a result, they will also become cold and ruthless.
A father can raise ten sons, but ten sons cannot raise a father. "More children and more blessings", when parents are very old, is a self-comforting truth.
03
No matter how much pension money you have, you have to rely on people's "conscience".
In my grandmother's last days, the younger uncle and the fourth uncle took turns to provide for her, and they rotated every two months.
The fourth uncle's house is in the town, and the medical care is also convenient. Therefore, my grandmother's body can also be maintained, and her life is still comfortable.
But when my grandmother came to my uncle's house, she would always have a recurrence of her old illness. Then, my grandmother, who was sick, was sent to the fourth uncle's house. The two uncles quarreled every once in a while.
The uncle said, "I want to farm, otherwise I won't have anything to eat, so what can I do?"
And my mother, who spends a week a month taking care of my grandmother's diet and daily life.
To put it bluntly, grandma was able to live a good life for a few days in her last days, not because grandma herself had money and a house. It is a part of the children whose conscience has not been extinguished, and who are still willing to pay money and energy to provide for them.
The number of children and the amount of savings cannot determine the happiness index of the pension, and the children with a conscience will be slightly smoother for the elderly.
It is not so much that filial piety is priceless, but that conscience is priceless.
The source of conscience is, first, that children have also become parents, and that they should set a good example of filial piety for their children; second, people's hearts are made of flesh, and it is unbearable to see the old man lingering; and third, the pattern is relatively large, and he does not care about the bad things of the past.
04
古人说：“万变不离其宗。 ”
Zong is the law of the development of life, the greed of human nature, the complexity of the human heart, and every family has a difficult scripture.
Parents are eager to dig out their hearts and lungs for their children, but when they have more children, they will also be partial, which will cause internal friction in the family.
Parents love their children, but children love their children, and people's love is passed downwards, and it is difficult to go up.
There is nothing wrong with relying on oneself to provide for the elderly, but you can't just rely on money, but also a little more "favor". Sadly, human affection is not wishful thinking, and parents have it, but it doesn't mean that children have it.
Anyone's old age is a bloody storm, even if the old man has money in his hands.
As a child, ask yourself more questions, compare your heart to your heart, and don't be too ruthless.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.